Dumb replies to questions...

[CBulla]

Over the past week my wife has been asking folks questions to try and clarify stuff she doesn't know about. We're getting a good laugh over the responses, so I thought I'd share a few and encourage you to share yours as well.

At Wal-Mart sporting goods while picking up a kids pole for our son:
Kris: "Do you need a freshwater license if your shore fishing in freshwater?"
Clerk: "Only if your fishing in water..." OoooK :06:

Confirming directions to a store:
Kris: "Are you north or south of Bell Tower mall?"
Clerk: "Depends on which way your coming from..." Huh??

 

[dlndavid]

Clerk: Would you you like something to drink?
Me: Yes, a Cola.
Clerk: Is Pepsi Ok?

 

[AngieDinOKC]

As a dispatcher for a state police agency, I actually got this one ...TWICE

Caller: There is a stranded motorist ...(on a city street)

Me: Ok, sir, this is the Highway Patrol. I'll notify city or you can call 911.

Caller: Ok, I can do that. What's the number?...

Angie

 

[hecker-the-wrecker]

As a tow company owner the fun never stops. Me; where are the keys? Caller; in my pocket, do you need them to tow the car? Me; no, but the shop will need the keys to fix the car. Caller;Why? Next one. Caller; I have a semi stuck,send a truck. Me;is it loaded, and with what? Caller(very rude) What *&%$## difference does that make? Me;just wondered if it was full of feathers,or lead bars. Next one. Caller; I locked my keys in my Mercedes. it's a black one with the moonroof open..........dial tone........

 

[AevnsGrandpa]

Doing service calls and help desk calls I get good ones!

This one was this morning about 20 minutes ago.

Caller: My computer is dead, was making loud noises.

Me: Is this a laptop or a desktop computer?

Caller: I don't know, when I take it home it is a laptop, but when I have it docked at work it is a desktop.

Me: Then it is a laptop, it doesn't change when you get to work.

Jeff

 

[Walter]

Whoops.

 

[adder70]

As a tow company owner the fun never stops. Caller; I locked my keys in my Mercedes. it's a black one with the moonroof open..........dial tone........

At least this person realized their mistake. At that point I would have to decide if I was spry and skinny enough to get in the moonroof without damaging anything, or if I wanted to offer a nearby kid the chance to climb on a car without getting in trouble.

 

[Mako Mark]

here is a good one from Bankok

DA: What days is the weekend market open??

Me: wednesdays and thrusdays.. Have fun.


DA: do I have to catch a boat to the floating market??

Me: no, you can walk, but it is a bit wet..

(from Diving)

DA: Are there sharks where we are going diving??

Me: Nope, the crocodiles chase them all away?

DA: Im an extra small, what size BCD should I wear???

Me: here's your sign...

DA: I am allergic to cats, will that be a problem when I go diving??

Me: Nope, there are no cats under water.

DA: does the rain affect the diving??

Me: Nope, it doesnt rain underwater.. Here's your sign..

and my personal favorite...

DA: what time does the one o'clock dive boat leave??

Me: please come with me, meet a friend of mine, she sells timeshare..

 

[Ber Rabbit]

My husband and I went out to eat at a local restaurant that serves wild game such as alligator, rattlesnake, elk, buffalo, you get the picture. The place is decorated with your typical wild game trophy heads. We had the buffalo steaks and they were really good. Part of the dinner conversation centered on wondering where they got their buffalo steaks; whether it was a local farm or not. We approached the cash register with our ticket and the following conversation ensued.

Me: "Where do you get your buffalo?"
Clerk: "It died at the zoo"
Me: (eyes wide and speechless)
Clerk: (turns and points to buffalo head above her) "I think it was this one, no wait it was the one over there." (points to buffalo head on the other side of the bar)
Hubby: (nearly wetting pants trying not to laugh)

We nearly fell down laughing once we got outside the door! The woman never did realize we were asking about the steaks not the heads.
Ber :lilbunny:

 

[parrottheaddiver]

arriving at work one day last summer, a rain squall popped up and drenched me as I was running from my car to the office. no sooner did i step inside dripping wet when, sure enough, some moron asked me, in all seriousness, "is it raining out?"...what could i say...i just shook my head and walked away