Dive buddy's as a woman

[bilsant]

I love it! One thing this thread reflects is the variation in companionate practices; just how much togetherness time people spend. Interesting subject. Some people are in the 'we do everything together' boat. Some of us pursue separate interests. It gets all the more interesting when the subject of separate vacations comes up.

Richard.

Allow me to add one caveat. Each of us has agreed that whatever we're doing recreationally, the other is more than welcome to come along. We've just been together long enough to know what we like. There's great freedom in not having to go along on their adventure...

She wouldn't be caught dead going camping, fishing, hunting or diving.

I turned in my theme park pass forever when the last kid was grown.

 

[scubaboy2003ca]

WOW... I'd do ANYTHING to have a wife / Girl friend that dives. I guess he would rather dive with "the guys". I'm always diving with "the guys" and would love to dive with a significant other.

 

[mermaid0sea]

You know what I did? I joined 2 scuba groups. I went to some scuba events. I was extremely blessed to have good dive buddies from the beginning. I go with different dive shops in town and I even found that just talkjng with old friends that some of them are divers. You just need to talk to other folks.

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[MarineResearch]

I think your husband has a problem. It's not that he goes diving with other people, but the way he treats you. My wife doesn't want anything to do with cave, wreck, ice, rebreather or any other sort of technical diving, so I do that with buddies. However, if we go on a dive vacation, we are inseparable. I can't even imagine ditching my wife to go dive with someone else, and that has nothing to do with her superior skill with firearms. It's just wrong. I don't know your age and if it's as simple as your husband being immature, but his tendency to blame you points to problems with his interpersonal skills.

---------- Post added February 13th, 2015 at 04:19 PM ----------

WOW... I'd do ANYTHING to have a wife / Girl friend that dives. I guess he would rather dive with "the guys". I'm always diving with "the guys" and would love to dive with a significant other.

You have no idea how good it can be. When I go cave diving with a friend of mine, he snores, farts and pisses all over the toilet seat. I don't have those problems with my wife, and she has many other features and benefits that make for a much better dive experience.

 

[archer1960]

My GF would love to go diving, but can't bring herself to breathe with her face in the water so can't even snorkel successfully. I realize that is an issue that could probably be changed with some work. However, she also has asthma and even without an attack gets short of breath easily with some physical exertion, so would likely have trouble passing a dive physical anyway. So I dive with other people, and we have other interests, both similar and not: she has no interest in camping, I have no interest in theme parks, and we both love hiking. So we have things we do together, and things we do separately.

On the subject of mixed travel (and this was before I met my current GF), I have a female friend who needed a roommate for a dive trip to Cozumel, and she talked me into going. I'm totally glad I did; it was a great time. We had a double room so we each had (and stayed in) our own bed, but we got along so well and spent so much time together that most of the resort staff thought we were married. As others have said, every relationship has a different dynamic from everybody else's...

 

[Pioni]

I'm completely okay to dive with different ppl and not always diving with my husband as he also dives with other ppl. Sometimes I even find it easier not to dive with someone who you love. We both are cave divers and to be honest I find it easier to dive with someone else, because if something would go wrong I would take too big risks to save him and endanger myself. And here I say this from experience as we once had a close-call and he taking too big risks to try to "save" me when we got separated in a cave.

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[NAM001]

After all the posts there are too many dynamics going on. I don't think any one has the absolute right answer because the right causes are not coming out or being recognized. Not that I am seeing them either but. It certainly appears that he likes diving with the boys better than you. or perhaps he likes diving with the level of adventure of the boys and not your level.
Certainly as some of the feminine advise given goes.... its not time to get a divorce lawyer (family legal services) as yet. even that (divorce) advice sounds like it has a boat load of baggage to it. It is also pretty apparent that those that have posted is in one of a few camps. 1. he is a bastard. 2. you are being too sensitive about this. 3 go get your own group and that will teach him. These are all pretty extreem positions with a relationship at stake. This may be as simple as he likes to do swim throughs and you don't or you are too slow. It may be a problem with being macho....It may be something or developing into something more serious. It appears that what may be needed is discussion more close to home and get the real problems out in the open. I would not doubt that the buddies he is diving with is also fueling the problem and building walls between the 2 of you. Probably being fueled by those with their own overloaded baggage attached. What ever you do don't let this get fixed at the beauty parlor..... you only find allies there. Neither of you need to be told that they understand your side. The issue is understanding the other side.

 

[wetb4igetinthewater]

I would be THRILLED to meet a girl into diving, and at the very least might make time for dives with her and other times for dives with buddies. her safety would be paramount over my own and I certainly would not be ditching her, I don't care how big the lobster is.

When you find her, you wouldn't mind introducing me to her sister, would you?

Edit: Does divebuddy.com give you any possibilities in your area? I haven't used it myself, as there are plenty of people to dive with in my area (both men and women).

 

[cbm32]

Yeahhhhhhhh, a lot of jumping to conclusions going on here. There may be some deep problems/issues in their relationship, but nowhere near enough information available to us to make that determination. I have known many couples that bowl on different teams and/or leagues that are getting along just fine.

Although it does sound like they could communicate a little more effectively.

My wife doesnt dive, and so I go solo all the time. There never seems to be a shortage of people on a boat to dive with and if there is I have no problem just doing my own thing. Might be more of a problem if I did a lot of shore diving but I dont. If I did I would most likely get a solo cert and do my own thing when no one else was available.

 

[archer1960]

Yeahhhhhhhh, a lot of jumping to conclusions going on here. There may be some deep problems/issues in their relationship, but nowhere near enough information available to us to make that determination. I have known many couples that bowl on different teams and/or leagues that are getting along just fine.

Although it does sound like they could communicate a little more effectively.

My wife doesnt dive, and so I go solo all the time. There never seems to be a shortage of people on a boat to dive with and if there is I have no problem just doing my own thing. Might be more of a problem if I did a lot of shore diving but I dont. If I did I would most likely get a solo cert and do my own thing when no one else was available.

Yeah, almost all of my diving right now is from shore. Luckily a couple of the local dive shops lead shore dives on a weekly (or so) basis. I expect that eventually I'll start going solo, but that's a long ways down the road for me.