Dive buddy's as a woman

[Jax]

Rosie, it's a bad sign that your hubbie is "thinking for you" (you wouldn't have wanted to come).

I agree with what everyone else has to say, and second the opinion that you get your own dive buddies. I wish you all the luck . . . and second the opinion about legal advice. . . .

 

[NAM001]

I agree if you treat this as a problem and not a symptom of a problem you will widen the gap between you.

Rosie90. This sounds like a relationship problem, not a dive problem. Sorry. No easy solution here.

Just to address your diving questions, I have no problem diving with others, men or women or solo for that matter. As you can see from the female posts so far, we tend to be a fairly independent minded group. If I want to dive, an uncooperative partner will not stop me.

Wishing you all the best of luck.

 

[divad]

Yeah, this can't be the only thing bugging you.

 

[Scuba_Jenny]

As I read your first post, many memories came flooding back. Those times when my (then) husband and I fought so much while diving. He said many of the same things your husband said..
The way he speaks to you shows lack of respect, and I hope that ya'll can either get it figured out together, or this may be a good time to find an outside non judgmental opinion.

For me, I did find my own buddies and continued on diving, enjoying my time being with people who wanted to be with me.


Best of luck

 

[Asteve]

I do not know why you would pick such a public place to bad mouth your husband. Marriage is not a game to see who can get the most support that they are right. You have to decide what works for you not what every one else thinks. Enough said.

Not a gal but if it was me I would solo dive, get a pony bottle and find a group to dive with that would know when I went in and look for me to come out. I find that when taking picture, I am not a very good dive buddy any way.

 

[drrich2]

You have to decide what works for you not what every one else thinks.

She may hope what we think can help inform making her own wisest decision.

I do not know why you would pick such a public place to bad mouth your husband.

Somethings these things seem strange to me, too, but when I think it through, I realize it's only 'public' if somebody out there figures out who these people are. She's pretty new to the forum, and could easily come back later & create a new account (I don't know what the rules are in this regard and I'm not saying do it; I'm just saying she doesn't have to put things out in a way that will get back to him or others they know).

What I'd really like to know (and probably won't find out) is what others mentioned in other words; is this the problem (e.g.: incompatible dive styles, or a guy with 'guy time' needs), or is it the tip of the iceberg, an outward manifestation of deeper issues.

Hope it's the former.

Richard.

 

[Ana]

I think it is super obvious, unfortunately inside optics are weird sometimes. even if the interpetrations of the facts are exaggerated there's still plenty for 2 icebergs.

 

[tomatogrw]

"But I've worked hard to get my advanced. I loved to dive and take photos.
So a question for you as ladys how do you find a like minded buddy?"


Since you like to dive and take photos then you need a dive buddy who also likes photography,
or at least will be content to float around while you take a picture. Your new dive buddy
may also enjoy looking for the next great photo op while you are snapping the picture.

But the most important factor is being aware of each others safety and being aware of each other as a dive buddy. After a good year of diving with my husband we still have much to improve about being the best dive buddy for each other. We work on planning the dive and sticking to it.

I do like diving with other people as we often are not on the same page as what we want to do during the dive.

Perhaps, there is a dive shop close to you where you can post for dive buddies.
Often newer divers are also looking for dive buddies.
Or even start or look for a blog on Facebook that divers can discuss the local dive opportunities
and post when some are available to dive or when someone is looking for a dive buddy in your area.

Don't give up. Just visualize what you want in a dive buddy and start the search. They are out there.

 

[Edward3c]

Hi Rosie,

As your UK based you have plenty of clubs to pick from:
* BSAC see here,
* SAA see here,
* ScotSAC see here,
* Clubs attached to commercial operators (whom use you as an income stream for coarses).

BSAC, SAA and ScotSAC will welcome you with qualifications from another agency. Go meet and dive with a few before you make you mind up.

There is also The Dive Forum where you can arrange dives.

On the off chance your in Scotland there is the BSAC South Scotland Facebook page.

 

[Rosie90]

Thanks everyone. I don't expect a bunch of divers to fix my personal problems, even as wise as we are lol. One of the reasons I posted here is because I know he never looks.

my post was to get some perspective of how women find people to dive with as it is male dominated which can be intimidating. Then I've thought about it over night, why do I think it's such an issue to dive with all / mostly men? The answer is because he wouldn't like that and Id get the mass inquisition. In the discussion I had with him he said I wouldn't mind if you went with "a female friend non diver"

Which got me thinking again it's not me with the issue here, he made the break so has no place to complain about who I go diving with or how I choose to do it. Just sometimes you need help to unravel things.