Did you keep diving after having children?

[victor]

When you have kids you can do as much or as little diving as you want to.

Alright you cannot do liveaboards as they are not child friendly and some dive resorts are not either but good ones can be found.
It is better if you can find another family with compatible kids so you can swap dives about with 1 couple diving while the other are topside.
Places like Bonaire are perfect for this with unlimited shore diving.

Warning though the kids will want to get in on the act and that will bring a whole new set of factors into the mix.

Yes the extra responcibility will make you a more carefull diver.
When the kids are very young you might want to avoid long air flights.
However I recommend that when ever practicle take the kids with you, our last vacation was child free and we did miss them.

Kids travel amazingly well and will put up with much more than you think
The holidays that they will remember are not the 2 weeks on the beach in florida, but the shack on the beach in the Philipines with no airconditioning, water for 1 hour per day, eating fresh fruit from the stalls, and going out with the boatman to catch their dinner.
Don't worry to much about them getting sick, all kids get sick, I am sure that it is good for their immune system.
I would avoid Malayria districts until their in their teens and can cope better with the drugs. Other than that they can go most places.

 

[drbill]

It sounds like the two of you have some significant concerns about parenthood itself in addition to the effect it might have on diving (or is it simply because of that possible effect?). I say this because of the hesitancy indicated in your post.

One of my favorite dive buddies (her hubby didn't dive) essentially stopped diving after her son was born. She does miss it, but also seems happy with her choice and loves her son very much.

Personally I'd hold off until you are more certain that you want to start a family. Whatever you two decide though, best fishes to you both!

 

[Daner]

First, having kids doesn't ruin your current life, it changes it -BIG TIME! What most people who don't have kids don't realize that with a few adjustments, the change is for the better. That is why your 'parent' friends don't mind 'missing out' on some of the things they did pre-kids. It is actually quite enjoyable spending time with your kids, bring them to swimming lessons, baseball games and just watching them grow. It may be hard to believe but if you are ready and you want children, you will feel the same way too.

As for the diving:

My wife and I completed our OWD cert in May 2005. At the time our kids were 1.5 and 4.5 years old. We managed to get about 10 dives in in 2005. In 2006 we went to Cuba (without kids) and dove 6 times. Currently we are at 32 logged dives total. Can you dive with young children? Yes. But there are a few things that have helped us out.

1. We were never opposed to leaving our kids with babysitters. This is critical. Whether its the 13 year old next door, a grandparent or family friend. Get your children used to being with other people early (by early I mean 3 months old or younger if YOU can handle it).

2. My step mother doesn't work so she watches the kids when went to Cuba. Try to find someone to do this for you. You need an 'adult' vacation. Besides the kids don't know the difference between Mexico and the McDonald's play area. (and I know my kids, if given the choice would chose McDonalds).

3. We took up camping and camping becomes the 'family vacation'. The kids love it. Best part is, we can go with non-diving friends who are happy to watch our kids while we sneak away for an hour to dive. We have gone on a few local (3-4 hours away) group dive trips and brought our kids. There always seems to be other older kids (baby sitting age) there to watch the kids (alot of time for free) and other parent divers that will watch your kids during your dive if you watch theirs during their dive. (Even better, the kids all play together and leave you alone)

If you want kids and you want to dive, you can do it. We have.

 

[Thalassamania]

1. How soon did you resume diving after childbirth?
About thirty-six hours.

2. Do you dive less often or not at all because of the kids?
Same as before.

3. Do you still dive together as a buddy couple after having kids?
My wife does not care to scuba, she likes free diving. She's a bit of a purist, refuses to downhill ski, only cross-country.

4. How do you plan dive vacations with children?
We often go to the Keys or somewhere else where there are many things to do, including diving.

5. Do you still want to dive or are you too tired to care?
Yes.

 

[bwerb]

Just curious to hear from others if you kept diving after having kids. Many of my friends have kids and they seem to be really BORING now and don't do the fun things they used to as couples.

SNIP

So, parents, any thoughts on:
1. How soon did you resume diving after childbirth?
2. Do you dive less often or not at all because of the kids?
3. Do you still dive together as a buddy couple after having kids?
4. How do you plan dive vacations with children?
5. Do you still want to dive or are you too tired to care?
Please include in your post if you are a mom or a dad.
Thanks!

Hmm...the word "boring" has got me a bit worried. Your "friends" aren't boring, their likely beyond exhausted. Until you've had kids, you really have no idea what tired is. When my wife and I had our first, she didn't get more that three hours of uninterrupted sleep for over 6 months...do you have any idea what that does to you?

We now have two kids; two years, three months and three months...one plus one is like 6 in terms of time commitment.

Kids are phenomenal, but they change your perspective and priorities immensely, especially when they are small and 100% dependent on you.

Do not have kids if you cannot fully step aside from your current diving activity level for a time without feeling really resentful.

1.) I've dove but my wife hasn't...30 days and she's back in the water (Hawaii)
2.) Yes
3.) Not yet, we will.
4.) Arriving at airport along with our kids Aunt, arriving in Hawaii, picking-up rental car, stop at Costco for food, stop at diveshop for tanks, check-in to condo, get everyone ready for the beach, hit the beach, make sure everyone is set, hit the water for shore dive, return shortly, repeat daily. The key is to have someone else along and to help look after the kids for an hour. Shore diving made the most sense to us as it's on our timeline, the kids can come to the beach, if circumstances make diving impossible, we aren't out a boat booking and we can adjust our downtime to reflect the days realities.
5.) Both of us still want to dive, when you are exhausted and sleep deprived however, sleep/rest is really the only thing you really care deeply about. It was funny, we were at a friends beach cabin sitting watching the water. The group consisted of 6 couples and our kids (average of two small kids each...mean age of two). A couple of us had our kids both napping and we were just sitting down and started talking about how prior to kids, everything about vacation was "what are we going to do next? Where should we go, what should we do?" Now it's just nice to have a few minutes of totally uninterrupted sitting.

What is fun to do with the kids is taking them to the aquarium, taking them out on boats (I took my two year old "tubing" with me and he loved it), taking them to swimming lessons etc. Oh and watching Finding Nemo hundreds of times It is amazing to watch their excitement with the water and watery world we love so much.

It isn't going to be like this forever, the ocean will still be there, our kids will only be this age once and if I had to chose between diving and my kids, I'd pick them every single time.

 

[capybara]

Hi all, thanks so much for your input! It's interesting to hear about everyone's experiences and I'm glad to see at least some of you have managed to keep diving with children.

I also appreciate some of your thoughtful concerns about us not being ready for parenthood, but I don't think we'll ever feel completely ready. I'd love to have more time to "play", but waiting several more years would just increase the risk of pregnancy complications, birth defects and infertility, which I would like to avoid if I can help it. If people didn't have any second thoughts or concerns about becoming a parent, I'd think they didn't really know what they're getting into, given all the time and responsibility it takes. Yes we know what it's like to work nonstop and get minimal sleep, because that's been our life for the last ten years due to work. We've been together for 14 years and married for seven, and it's only now that we're finally starting to get a little more time and money to make supporting a family even possible.

So I'm not looking for advice about whether or not we should have kids, that's a personal decision between husband and wife. But what I do want is to hear what it has been like for you all and how your diving life has changed. Diving isn't more important to me than having a family, but I hope they're not mutually exclusive! I've hung up my diving hood for now but I hope to return as soon as I can and teach my children to appreciate the underwater world as much as I have.

Any stories from the women out there?

Congrats on your upcoming marriage, DaytonaDave!

 

[kittyjg]

I didn't have to give up diving, just had to delay the experience. I always wanted to learn. I finally decided to go for it and found out I was pregnant. Obviously, no can do. When I decided to go for it again and could financially, my son wanted to do it also, but was a little too young. I made a deal with him that we would both do it when he was old enough. When he turned 13, we both got certified. I dive more than he does, but he loves it when he can dive. At times, I need to go without him (me dive, not mommy dive). I really like it when we dive together, though - the look in his eyes, the excitement when we surface. My husband doesn't dive but he supports me completely when I want to.

 

[DaytonaDave]

Congrats on your upcoming marriage, DaytonaDave!

THANK YOU!

I found a wonderful woman, who has been a part of my life since I was 15.... funny how that works!


I never meant to be hurtful in asking the personal questions... just speaking from a parent's point of view. I have friends who have made the decision to never have children. It's a very liberating decision. I don't fall into the belief that everyone must have kids, but it was the right decision for me. I have made many sacrifices for my kids. I gave up flying. I postponed diving. I don't have as many friends as I used to because most childless people don't understand why I can't go out on a whim anymore without careful planning.... but I wouldn't change anything.

I made the decision about 6 months ago to show kids that we all need to live life to the fullest... I thoroughly agree with Dennis:

Live life. Kids should never cause you to stop doing that. If you do, you will be raising children that will not know how to live life.

Good luck to you on whatever decision you make. You don't stop living... your life really just starts on the day that your kids are born.

 

[ItsBruce]

I joke that I got tired of trying to find suitable dive buddies who had time to dive when I did and that as a result, I grew my own dive buddy. That's only partly correct. Truth is that I'd dive on some vacations. Then one day my kid announced he wanted to get certified. I've logged more dives since he got certified than before he was born.

Bottom line: Once you have kids, your interests will change. Its like growing up. As a kid, watching Saturday morning cartoons was one of the most important things in my life. I grew out of it. Having kids causes you to grow out of some of the selfish stuff. And, if you think that you can't or won't grow out of the really selfish stuff, don't grow up and don't have kids.

 

[pupdiver]

Hi all, thanks so much for your input! It's interesting to hear about everyone's experiences and I'm glad to see at least some of you have managed to keep diving with children.

I also appreciate some of your thoughtful concerns about us not being ready for parenthood, but I don't think we'll ever feel completely ready. I'd love to have more time to "play", but waiting several more years would just increase the risk of pregnancy complications, birth defects and infertility, which I would like to avoid if I can help it. If people didn't have any second thoughts or concerns about becoming a parent, I'd think they didn't really know what they're getting into, given all the time and responsibility it takes. Yes we know what it's like to work nonstop and get minimal sleep, because that's been our life for the last ten years due to work. We've been together for 14 years and married for seven, and it's only now that we're finally starting to get a little more time and money to make supporting a family even possible.

So I'm not looking for advice about whether or not we should have kids, that's a personal decision between husband and wife. But what I do want is to hear what it has been like for you all and how your diving life has changed. Diving isn't more important to me than having a family, but I hope they're not mutually exclusive! I've hung up my diving hood for now but I hope to return as soon as I can and teach my children to appreciate the underwater world as much as I have.

Any stories from the women out there?

Congrats on your upcoming marriage, DaytonaDave!

I think it is understandable to be concerned about the impact kids will have on your lifestyle. While I don't have real experience yet (my wife is about two months pregnant), I think it is possible to maintain lifestyle while having kids but certainly it will require some work. Also, compromises are part of the deal.

For one, there are plenty of divers who have kids. Find them and make arrangements. One couple we are friends with are also divers and also pregnant right now. The plan is to watch each others kids so we can go diving for the day once the kids areold enough for that. You probably have more people you can rely on thatn you think you do.

As far as dive trips go, I think you can still do it but a lot will depend on your financial means and personal situation. But, when your kids are old enough to travel (and if you can afford it) find places to go where you can do family things and get a day or two of diving in. They do exist. If you have parents or family who can watch them, take a few days or a week and go somewhere for dedicated diving.