Dear Dork Divers Advice Column – Ask us your questions

[sibermike7]

Goats were the animal of choice for early work on decompression
(You have to admit, it's quite an entertaining saying.)

Live and learn! I was trying to figure it out and actually was thinking that it might be a slang term for some kind of coral or marine plant or animal that is regularly harvested. Hence the humor, "I brought it up from 175' and it didn't blow up, so I must be all right too."
Boy, talk about being off base!

 

[ZenDiver.3D]

Okay. I have recieved scoffing, jeering, laughing-at-me-not-with-me, when I have my very bestest most favoritest tank, when combined with my too cool pink force fins.
So here's my question. Does the red tank boot make my butt look fat?

 

[ZenDiver.3D]

It should be noted that my green and yellow hose wraps add a balance in the skittles rainbow of my gear. Am I a bad person for not having navy blue too? My snorkle is purple, so that should count right?

 

[sibermike7]

my too cool pink force fins.
So here's my question. Does the red tank boot make my butt look fat?

I don't think any pink tank would make anyone look fat. It is guaranteed to focus attention AWAY from anatomy and toward the really important issue of gear!

(Shoot, just now noticed you asked about the BOOT! See! Didn't even notice the boot at first!!!) *No problem with the red boot either as long as you didn't use Red Dye number #12 to color it as we all know that MMs had to be removed because of Red Dye #12 because if you fed 3 gallons of RD#12 a day to a rat after about 6 months the rat died so we don't want any ratfish dying from Red Dye #12 poisoning. Protect the environment, you know (see DDivers Manifesto).

You have got to post that photo on the Best of DD gear thread! That is a keeper! You get bonus points for the second divers split fins too!

I LOVE those FFins in pink as long as they are ON SOMEONE ELSE!!!!




*run-on sentence intentional

 

[sibermike7]

It should be noted that my green and yellow hose wraps add a balance in the skittles rainbow of my gear. Am I a bad person for not having navy blue too? My snorkle is purple, so that should count right?

The water is like, blue, isn't it? So you're covered! DD manifesto: use WHATEVER you want!! Skittles! Love it!

 

[ZenDiver.3D]

I don't think any pink tank would make anyone look fat. It is guaranteed to focus attention AWAY from anatomy and toward the really important issue of gear!

(Shoot, just now noticed you asked about the BOOT! See! Didn't even notice the boot at first!!!) *No problem with the red boot either as long as you didn't use Red Dye number #12 to color it as we all know that MMs had to be removed because of Red Dye #12 because if you fed 3 gallons of RD#12 a day to a rat after about 6 months the rat died so we don't want any ratfish dying from Red Dye #12 poisoning. Protect the environment, you know (see DDivers Manifesto).

You have got to post that photo on the Best of DD gear thread! That is a keeper! You get bonus points for the second divers split fins too!

I LOVE those FFins in pink as long as they are ON SOMEONE ELSE!!!!




*run-on sentence intentional

I love BONUS POINTS!!!!

Yippee!!!

And Red Dye #12 was terrible for rats and their cousins- the elusive ratfish, not to be confused with the ratfink(they sink). But I made sure that mine was, in fact, the color "silk sheet crimson." A girl has to feel pretty, after all.

 

[ClayJar]

So here's my question. Does the red tank boot make my butt look fat?

Actually, it's usually said that black is a slimming color, so a regular old black tank boot would make the nether end of the tank look slimmer. Since the nether end of the tank is in the immediate gluteal vicinity, having it look slimmer would make the posterior in question appear larger in comparison.

It stands to reason, then, that the red tank boot actually makes your butt look slimmer.

Am I a bad person for not having navy blue too?

I just figured with a long enough dive, you'll be providing the blue. (Okay, so you're not really up in a 42-degree quarry, but it's still theoretically possible you'll dive long enough to turn blue...) You wouldn't want blue gear clashing with blue you, now, would you? :biggrin:

 

[sibermike7]

Okay, so you're not really up in a 42-degree quarry,

Hey! Where do you find such warm quarry water??
Had ice on the ground today. I was still diving last weekend in a wetsuit. I finally decided to shed the wet and go dry since soon we'll be breaking ice to get to the water.

Last year I just didn't dive in the ice I just stayed out of the water all winter. Unfortunately winter is a long time this far north (Estonia). So decided to keep diving this year. We'll see how it works!

True blue!

 

[sibermike7]

I love BONUS POINTS!!!!
Yippee!!!

*To qualify simply post the picture to thread mentioned earlier, OR eat 400 boxes of Froot Loops and send the box tops to your least favorite DIR on the Scuba board.

That's all there is to it.





* No purchase necessary, void where prohibited, etc...

 

[ZenDiver.3D]

You know it's getting cold here too. Tomorrow, I am taking my 3mm shorty just in case. In a month, we'll be in my heaviest wetsuit- 3mm long..... BBBRRRRR.

What do you mean "ice on the ground this morning" ?? Did you spill your drink?