Dear Dork Divers Advice Column – Ask us your questions

Please register or login

Welcome to ScubaBoard, the world's largest scuba diving community. Registration is not required to read the forums, but we encourage you to join. Joining has its benefits and enables you to participate in the discussions.

Benefits of registering include

  • Ability to post and comment on topics and discussions.
  • A Free photo gallery to share your dive photos with the world.
  • You can make this box go away

Joining is quick and easy. Log in or Register now!

Good grief, don't you guys see it... he needs an "EASY button" from from Staples attached to his chest with velcro......Ber :lilbunny:

Brilliant!
 
Oh no! I've got my gears in hog style! :D
 
Dear Dork Divers
Having been a Dork Diver for 25 years now (before I even knew that I was one!) and have been classed as a Master Dork Diver Instructor-Missionary (MDDIM), I have a confession followed by a question or two, or three, or ... (I HAVE to ask a question, or 2, or 3, or ... since this is a Q/A forum. I'm a DD; not stupid! Well, maybe, never mind...).

This is kind of like one of those WeightWatchers group therapy hug-and-sob confession sessions where someone begins by confessing to eating too many Ding Dongs and somebody else stupidly asks, "How many," and the other person replies, "Six," and someone else comfortingly says, "That's not TOO bad," and the confesser then says, "THAT'S BOXES YOU IDIOT!!!" Whew! :confused:

Anyway, I bought an all black drysuit. There, I said it. I feel better all ready.

I didn't want to, really! I wanted anything with some cool colors, especially something glow-in-the-dark (besides pink), but got outbid on eBay every time. I was getting so tired of diving in a 12 MM wetsuit here in Estonia and trying to remove the wet wetsuit as ice began to form and fill in the pores of the neoprene, dry off, and change back into street clothes with the wind whipping certain parts of my anatomy into other locales all the while in public view on the beach at the local gravel pit. sigh :depressed:

So, I ended up with an all-black Bares for $250. It is 7mm neoprene so nobody else wanted it. They all complained that it was too stiff, too binding, too etc... They haven't dived in ice, I guess. I only hope that it isn't too thin! :D

Question(s)
1.) Do you think it can be painted so I won't be kicked out of Dork Divers?
2.) Should I use a brush or spray can?
3.) Would duct tape added as racing stripes to the legs and arms count?
4.) How about if I used duct tape kind of like gaiters, would that be O.K.?
5.) Or am I O.K. because I didn't WANT black in the first place, but was simply too cheap to pay more JUST to add color?

I await your wisdom.... :popcorn:
 
I think you should definitely add the duct tape as racing stripes - everyone knows they help you go faster underwater!
 
I think you should definitely add the duct tape as racing stripes - everyone knows they help you go faster underwater!

Nice to see you here Leah!:D
 
Mike,

If color makes you or your dive buddy more comfortable during your dives, go for it!

Maybe just adorn yourself with some colored accessories?

Otherwise just crank up the AC DC "Back in Black," and enjoy the new suit!

Stay warm, dive safe.
 
Thanks Chris.
Leah, didn't know that duct tape made you go faster! Wow, I have been missing out! :D
 
What is an "unexploded goat" that is not supposed to be an indicator of a good decon profile? :confused:
 
What is an "unexploded goat" that is not supposed to be an indicator of a good decon profile? :confused:
If I may put on my serious hat for a moment... it's got to be around here somewhere...

Goats were the animal of choice for early work on decompression (i.e. caisson's disease). Goats were not chosen for any particularly keen similarity to humans or any innate susceptibility to "the bends". Rather, they were chosen because they were easy to read.

Remember, one of the early symptoms of a DCS hit is often deep joint pain. When the goats joints started hurting, the goats would favor the legs, giving a noticeable sign to indicate the presence of the unreadable symptom (i.e. joint pain). Reading rabbits or rodents or other animals is much less direct than looking at a goat that doesn't want to put pressure on a leg. (Basically, the goats made for much better DCS detectors.)

Anyway, the thing about DCS is that even with all the research put into it over generations now, it's still not deterministic. While you can certainly say that you will get DCS if you stay at 150 feet for three hours and then fill your BC and drop your weight belt to see how fast you can surface, you can't look at dive tables and say, "If I stay within the NDL, I *won't* get DCS." The human body interacting with your dive profiles is simply too complex; you can only say it's not likely you'll get DCS.

Which brings us back to the saying. Obviously, a goat isn't going to blow up like a bomb (unless it's getting near the end of a Mythbusters episode, but by then it has explosives inside). Still, if you let your imagination run wild, you can just see all these bubbles from a really bad case of DCS building and building... The "unexploded goat", then, is just a humorous way of saying "conditions that did not generally result in DCS according to models" (or according to research, depending on what you're discussing).

So, what does it mean? I suppose it means many things. Don't assume that staying within the tables/computers/models makes you invincible. Don't assume that finding a model to vet your profile means the profile is safe. Basically, that type of thing. (You have to admit, it's quite an entertaining saying.)
 
Clayjars serious hat-
2btn_hat_pnksno.jpg
 

Back
Top Bottom