Dear Dork Divers Advice Column – Ask us your questions

[J.R.]

Dear Dork Divers,

I am developing a Buddy Retractor so I never get separated again. I'm thinking aircraft cable here and if there is a problem you just hit the Super Retract button and your buddy is right beside you!

Can I expect your endorsement?

It sounds to me like you're on the right track... let me suggest that you explore the use of ATV winches. Did you know that DC motors will work under water??? ... AND... if ya' think about it... the potential applications and benefits are almost unlimited... consider:

1: The weight of the winch and battery pack can be deducted from all that boring lead ya' have to carry...

2: If ya' have trouble finding the dive boat when ya' want to resurface... latch off the cable to the ladder... when you're ready to come up... hit the button... VOILA'... you'll effortlessly be 'brought home'...

3: Ya' never can tell when you'll stumble across treasure... rather than leave it laying around for some other pirate to grab... stuff it in your wetsuit... have your buddy take the hook up to the boat... and winch yourself to the surface!!!

4: Forget something in your car on a beach dive? No sweat... if you hook the winch off on the front axle... not only can you use it to find your way home (see #2 above)... but by cleverly bracing yourself... and locking the winch down... you might be able to bring the car to you!!!

The potential uses of the device you propose are, obviously, infinate... I would encourage your continued exploration of its development. Keep us posted...

J.R.
DD #.... ummm.... something....

 

[Diver Dennis]

Absolutely... unless it exceeds the PADI maximum ascent rate of 1000' per min.

Uh oh, that might be a problem...

 

[Diver Dennis]

It sounds to me like you're on the right track... let me suggest that you explore the use of ATV winches. Did you know that DC motors will work under water??? ... AND... if ya' think about it... the potential applications and benefits are almost unlimited... consider:

1: The weight of the winch and battery pack can be deducted from all that boring lead ya' have to carry...

2: If ya' have trouble finding the dive boat when ya' want to resurface... latch off the cable to the ladder... when you're ready to come up... hit the button... VOILA'... you'll effortlessly be 'brought home'...

3: Ya' never can tell when you'll stumble across treasure... rather than leave it laying around for some other pirate to grab... stuff it in your wetsuit... have your buddy take the hook up to the boat... and winch yourself to the surface!!!

4: Forget something in your car on a beach dive? No sweat... if you hook the winch off on the front axle... not only can you use it to find your way home (see #2 above)... but by cleverly bracing yourself... and locking the winch down... you might be able to bring the car to you!!!

The potential uses of the device you propose are, obviously, infinate... I would encourage your continued exploration of its development. Keep us posted...

J.R.
DD #.... ummm.... something....

Wow, great ideas! I'm off to Wally World to pick one up. Can you get one that will run on AA batteries?

 

[BHB ScubaTroll]

Uh oh, that might be a problem...

unfortunately... at 1001', yes... You would have to be re-evaluated for SCUBA diving certification... But, that's cool, 'cause you get to do another dive!

 

[Diver Dennis]

It would also work well for divers who use a lot of air but still want to see the whole reef. Sharks would have a tough time catching them too. They may have to use high speed film in their cameras though...

 

[merxlin]

Dear fellow Dork Divers,

I bought a retractor for my computer, but it was too small because when I got in the water with it, my computer pulled all of the line out. I then bought a bigger retractor with a lock to try it again next time. I hate to waste equipment. Any ideas for the old retractor?

Stephi, what kind of computer do you have? Most retractors will only handle the weight of a laptop. Desktops are too heavy for retractors.

 

[fisherdvm]

Dear DD,

I don't know how to helicopter kick, so I'm very concerned about being able to turn around and get back to the boat.

Will I need to plan on circumnavigating the globe to get back to the boat??

Personally, I use the bicycle or rototiller kicks. It works best with split fins. If you practice good bouyancy control, you should be at the bottom of the ocean, and not mid-water.

My PADI instruction clearly reminded me to overweight myself by at least 5 lbs, for safety. Empty your BC completely, and you should get enough traction to turn around on the sea floor. If needed, use your arms. The silts are an extra benefit of this method. It keeps the sharks from seeing. you.

 

[MaconBubbles]

Stephi, what kind of computer do you have? Most retractors will only handle the weight of a laptop. Desktops are too heavy for retractors.

Yes, yes, of course...but I have the Dacor "Darwin" Air.

 

[Fish_Whisperer]

It would also work well for divers who use a lot of air but still want to see the whole reef. Sharks would have a tough time catching them too. They may have to use high speed film in their cameras though...

It would become a new sport: Scuba-Skiing! :mooner:

 

[J.R.]

Wow, great ideas! I'm off to Wally World to pick one up. Can you get one that will run on AA batteries?

Scarry thing is... yea... you can. ... all depends on HOW MANY AA batteries you want to take down with ya' though...