Crawling outa the water

[spectrum]

I line up with most of what I read from others.

The dive isn't over until everyone's out of the water and I'd even extend that to liberated from the stress of being geared up. A little courtesy and care goes a long ways to avoiding mishaps. You had some solid clues going in that she'd be challenged when returning to 1G and you should have exited together.

As for her I have to reserve judgment for lack of details, If she was an unfit chain smoker over weighted and diving a cylinder size beyond her need or capability to handle then she needs to get her act together. If she was reasonably configured and fit then she's just a person of small size and needs a good buddy. Keep in mind that in the water she may still be very capable in a rescue scenario when gravity is less of a factor.

Pete

 

[Cave Diver]

Wow, I posted this this morning and didnt expect this much replies.. I havent read thru them all so forgive me if I say something that was already said.

Are you kidding? Do you have any idea how many of us were just sitting around and waiting for an interesting thread like this to respond to?

First off, yes, I accept the responsibility that I should have stayed there,, actually, we were in 1 1/2 feet of water.

That's a good first step.

And because everyone I have dove with,, three other buddies all did the same thing, I guess I thought she would too. If I had known that she had special needs prior to goin in, I would most certainly have helped her in and out. Yep, I was wrong there,, I always go over gear and whatnot,, where the octo is and all that, prior to a dive,, from here on out, I'll also be asking how they exit. I still think barring some disability, you should be able to tote your own gear.
Thanks for the responses tho,, I knew some flaming was comming,, Its hard being perfect(JK)

It's pretty cliche', but plan your dive, dive your plan. When with a new buddy go over the dive plan, including entry and exit strategies and buddy seperation issues. With familiar buddies at familiar sites this can become kind of intuitive, just don't let it become complacent.

With new buddies/new sites, it's worth doing.

 

[GeorgeC]

No one touched on the most important point of all.
Does your fiancé know she is easily replaceable?

 

[bill-da-ho]

No one touched on the most important point of all.
Does your fiancé know she is easily replaceable?

Lol, No she is not,, took me 44 years to find her, I aint replacing her for nothing..

I do want to clear one thing up tho,, I did think she was behind me, I didnt look back because I was watching my footing on the rocks too, of course I would help her doff her gear,,, I know it can be difficult alone,, I did not ask her about exiting, thats my fault, she didnt tell me about any special needs,, thats her fault,, actually, I dont think there were any special needs, other than she takes her gear off at the shoreline,, I dont do this. To me its easier to carry your gear up while its on your back, you have to carry it one way or another.
At any rate, this will be discussed with every buddy from here on out.

 

[BioLogic]

Lol, No she is not,, took me 44 years to find her, I aint replacing her for nothing..

I do want to clear one thing up tho,, I did think she was behind me, I didnt look back because I was watching my footing on the rocks too, of course I would help her doff her gear,,, I know it can be difficult alone,, I did not ask her about exiting, thats my fault, she didnt tell me about any special needs,, thats her fault,, actually, I dont think there were any special needs, other than she takes her gear off at the shoreline,, I dont do this. To me its easier to carry your gear up while its on your back, you have to carry it one way or another.
At any rate, this will be discussed with every buddy from here on out.

Not everyone takes constructive criticism with such grace. Kudos.

 

[BettyRubble]

Even though I am 5'2 with a bad back, it is my goal to manage my own equipment. So far so good but I haven't attempted a shore dive. Since waves knock me on my tush without gear, I'd need my buddy near by in case I slip or get knocked down WITH gear 'cuz I'd definitely be in turtle mode.

I'm reminded of the slight little guy I saw in the dive shop this week. Kid you not, I was taller and bigger and all I could think was HE will need help with his gear. Or the 60+year old instructor who is doing my check out dives next weekend. If he has a heart attack or stroke, he'll need some assistance I suspect.

Point is, most people need a helping hand at one point or another in their diving journey. If we rule out diving buddies based on how perfectly they can manage their gear, dives, and the unexpected, then we'd eliminate alot of divers. (including me as the newbie short unexperienced diver) If she is that weak or doesn't realize there are ways to manage her gear better, teach her. Sounds like 70% of this issue is solved by talking about expectations and 20% by her getting stronger, and 10% by you being a 'buddy' and keeping an eye on your buddy.

 

[bill-da-ho]

Even though I am 5'2 with a bad back, it is my goal to manage my own equipment. So far so good but I haven't attempted a shore dive. Since waves knock me on my tush without gear, I'd need my buddy near by in case I slip or get knocked down WITH gear 'cuz I'd definitely be in turtle mode.

I'm reminded of the slight little guy I saw in the dive shop this week. Kid you not, I was taller and bigger and all I could think was HE will need help with his gear. Or the 60+year old instructor who is doing my check out dives next weekend. If he has a heart attack or stroke, he'll need some assistance I suspect.

Point is, most people need a helping hand at one point or another in their diving journey. If we rule out diving buddies based on how perfectly they can manage their gear, dives, and the unexpected, then we'd eliminate alot of divers. (including me as the newbie short unexperienced diver) If she is that weak or doesn't realize there are ways to manage her gear better, teach her. Sounds like 70% of this issue is solved by talking about expectations and 20% by her getting stronger, and 10% by you being a 'buddy' and keeping an eye on your buddy.

Betty,
I agree with your assesment, talking ahead of time would have ruled out this issue altogether, its a mistake I wont make again. But I have to ask you? If your 60 year old instructor has a heart attack, and you cant manage your own gear, you both die? And I'm saying "you" in the general terms,, not pointing a finger at you.
I'm assuming to that if you need special assitance, prior to the dive, you let your buddy in on it dont you? I dont think any diver out there can safely guess at what there partners specific special needs are,, it seems to me that if someone has a special need, that it is wise of them to let their buddy know.

 

[BettyRubble]

Absolutely she needs to communicate it to you. And likewise, if it is your standard protocol to walk out without waiting for your buddy, that she is aware that is YOUR procedure. Sounds like you expected her to act your usual buddy, and she expected you to act like her usual buddy - and well, we all know what that led too. I'm too new to know if it is standard that my buddy would not be there at certain stages, but I know now to ask. Not so much for equipment management but for the 'I didn't expect that to happen' moments.

By the way, if my 60 year instructor has a heart attack, it won't be my gear handling that kills him. It will be my lack of CPR skills - as they are 20 years old and landbased! But that is an entirely different discussion.

My point about the 60 yr old instructor and petite man wasn't that the two occurances would happen together, but that I doubt you will always find yourself in the position of being the 'superiorly skilled' diver of the group and should you find that you need assistance, hopefully the buddy with you won't feel put out to offer you a hand. You might be able to handle you gear in any circumstance, but you'd be naive to think you can are equipped to manage every situation without assistance. IF you are that skilled, why bother with a buddy at all.

Betty,
I agree with your assesment, talking ahead of time would have ruled out this issue altogether, its a mistake I wont make again. But I have to ask you? If your 60 year old instructor has a heart attack, and you cant manage your own gear, you both die? And I'm saying "you" in the general terms,, not pointing a finger at you.
I'm assuming to that if you need special assitance, prior to the dive, you let your buddy in on it dont you? I dont think any diver out there can safely guess at what there partners specific special needs are,, it seems to me that if someone has a special need, that it is wise of them to let their buddy know.

 

[DOkie]

Bill-da-ho... Some background please. Where in Upper Michigan was she crawling out of?

 

[bill-da-ho]

Absolutely she needs to communicate it to you. And likewise, if it is your standard protocol to walk out without waiting for your buddy, that she is aware that is YOUR procedure. Sounds like you expected her to act your usual buddy, and she expected you to act like her usual buddy - and well, we all know what that led too. I'm too new to know if it is standard that my buddy would not be there at certain stages, but I know now to ask. Not so much for equipment management but for the 'I didn't expect that to happen' moments.

By the way, if my 60 year instructor has a heart attack, it won't be my gear handling that kills him. It will be my lack of CPR skills - as they are 20 years old and landbased! But that is an entirely different discussion.

My point about the 60 yr old instructor and petite man wasn't that the two occurances would happen together, but that I doubt you will always find yourself in the position of being the 'superiorly skilled' diver of the group and should you find that you need assistance, hopefully the buddy with you won't feel put out to offer you a hand. You might be able to handle you gear in any circumstance, but you'd be naive to think you can are equipped to manage every situation without assistance. IF you are that skilled, why bother with a buddy at all.

Oh no, I do not think that I am superior skilled, I am a beginner,, I have alot to learn, I wasnt expecting to walk out without my buddy, I thought she was behind me, I was looking down at my footing to see that I didnt step on one of the sharp rocks on the beach. It wasnt till I got thru the debris that I found that she wasnt there,, we were in 1 1/2 feet of water prior to us exiting ( where we last were side by side) Now I get the concept that you dont leave your partner,, but when I was walking out,, and she stopped unknown to me, hadnt she left her partner? and If I had lost my balance she would not have been there either,, she stopped,, chose to crawl the rest of the way out.. I dont know why,, crawling out of this site would be harder in my opinion,, either way, I didnt know she had stopped, she knew she had.. I get that I wont allow this to happen again. They are lava rocks that are on this shore,, sharp,, and then you have to navigate between this and slabs of concrete, all this was put there to stop erosion,, but you have to watch your footing,, had I known she was going to stop,, I would have stopped with her..
Thing of it is too, she has more dives than I do,,, I in no way thought or ever will think that I am "superior skilled" I am not an arrogant man.
I have learned from this situation. doubtful I'll ever partner with this person again,, but I wont have this particular problem again.
Anyhow, thanks for all the good advice and comments from everyone..