Crawling outa the water

[scubapatton]

Both of you dropped the ball on this. Just regurgitating others' comments, but let's recap:
1) no thorough communication pre-dive. "she put her bc and everything on sitting down, then couldnt stand up.. well, we got her to the water," first clue: if she is having trouble getting in, she very well could have trouble getting out, when she is more tired, etc. Should have discussed on the surface swim out at the very least.
2) on exit, didn't bother to turn back and look? I could never just walk back without at least keeping an eye on the buddy. Even if you were a little away, you could have shirked off your gear, tossed your fins to the side and headed back in to at least assist a crawl.
3) but she isn't innocent: go back to (1). She should have communicated that the gear was heavy for her, and that she would "appreciate a little help if needed." At least a closer proximity would have helped here.
4) and then she lashed out, blaming you for the fin loss. She ultimately could have crawled out, and to blame someone for losing your gear is almost always just a sign of stress/lashing out. Unless of course you were holding on to it and let go...

I hope you learned something from this though. Not every diver will perform as you would expect. If you choose to dive with a new buddy (or a rent-a-buddy), you need to communicate with them prior and go over things... expectations, needs, etc. The dive is never all about you. It is always about you and your buddy.

Hopefully a lesson learned and good luck with the wedding!!

 

[Teamcasa]

.... Anyhow, when I get to the truck, the lady is trying to crawl out of the lake,,,she cant support the weight of her equipment I guess,..
Shouldnt it be a requirement to be able to support your own gear? I dont mind helping out, donning and doffing the bc and what not, but you should be able to support it?

Regarding you buddy, some of these ladies are 1/2 the size of guys like me (or smaller) yet carry much of the same gear. They might need a hand (or not, some are strong for their size), as a buddy, you should be close by anyway. Entry and exit are prime times for buddy assist.

For me, the should'a could'a would'a stuff just does not matter at this point. She was clearly in trouble and you were too far away to help.

Like GrumpyOldGuy says, entries and exits are where many mishaps begin life. Your job as a buddy is to be there and pay attention. Someday, you may need the same help.

 

[Doubler]

bill-da-ho here is an example of why you should never leave your wing man. My wife and I were doing a surf entry on a deserted beach in Hawaii wearing doubles, I had 80's she had 72's. Surf wasn't bad two to three footers with a four about every five or six sets. My wife is a damn good diver but small in stature. 5'2" 105 lbs. Me I am a bone head and should have known better but I digress. So I am siting there evaluating the surf and I point to a spot about 50 yards off the beach. I told her, if we try to put our fins on on the beach we will probably get pounded by one of those four footers so put your fins on your arms, your regulator in your mouth and we will crawl out to that quiet spot and put our fins on sitting on the bottom. So off we go, i see her when we start off, visibility was about 2 feet, she is always on my right hand side, I get out through the break, no Trish. I snap my fins on do a real quick 360 no Trish, so I surface. What do I see but the love of my life standing on the beach in about 2 feet of water bent over putting her fins on as a 4 footer pounds her to the surf. She is on her back held down by the doubles, looks like a turtle, her regulator free flowing as she is being rolled up and down the surf line. I ditched my tanks and WB right on the spot and started making a high speed run to the beach. Here is the weird part. I get to the spot I had just seen her, about ten feet from shore, she is not there, I begin to panic, I am looking all up and down the surf line facing out to sea. No Trish. My heart is in my throat. I turn around and here she is sitting on the beach. I run over to her and asked if she is okay and all she says is "Wow". I asked her how did she manage to get herself out of the surf and she said " I didn't, this big Samoan guy came and picked her up by the tank valve and placed her on the beach" I asked her "What Samoan, I need to thank him", She goes "Oh he is gone" I said "Trish I don't see any foot prints which way did he go" She Goes "Oh, no footprints, Wow"
The point is we were lucky, I overloaded her with gear, she wanted to call the dive but I said I had done these numerous times with my male buddies and it would be fine little woman trust me, she didn't listen to instructions, we got separated, I now believe in angels, and I don't beach dive with my wife anymore. Never leave your buddy things happen quickly.

 

[Schizlor]

bill-da-ho here is an example of why you should never leave your wing man. My wife and I were doing a surf entry on a deserted beach in Hawaii wearing doubles, I had 80's she had 72's. Surf wasn't bad two to three footers with a four about every five or six sets. My wife is a damn good diver but small in stature. 5'2" 105 lbs. Me I am a bone head and should have known better but I digress. So I am siting there evaluating the surf and I point to a spot about 50 yards off the beach. I told her, if we try to put our fins on on the beach we will probably get pounded by one of those four footers so put your fins on your arms, your regulator in your mouth and we will crawl out to that quiet spot and put our fins on sitting on the bottom. So off we go, i see her when we start off, visibility was about 2 feet, she is always on my right hand side, I get out through the break, no Trish. I snap my fins on do a real quick 360 no Trish, so I surface. What do I see but the love of my life standing on the beach in about 2 feet of water bent over putting her fins on as a 4 footer pounds her to the surf. She is on her back held down by the doubles, looks like a turtle, her regulator free flowing as she is being rolled up and down the surf line. I ditched my tanks and WB right on the spot and started making a high speed run to the beach. Here is the weird part. I get to the spot I had just seen her, about ten feet from shore, she is not there, I begin to panic, I am looking all up and down the surf line facing out to sea. No Trish. My heart is in my throat. I turn around and here she is sitting on the beach. I run over to her and asked if she is okay and all she says is "Wow". I asked her how did she manage to get herself out of the surf and she said " I didn't, this big Samoan guy came and picked her up by the tank valve and placed her on the beach" I asked her "What Samoan, I need to thank him", She goes "Oh he is gone" I said "Trish I don't see any foot prints which way did he go" She Goes "Oh, no footprints, Wow"
The point is we were lucky, I overloaded her with gear, she wanted to call the dive but I said I had done these numerous times with my male buddies and it would be fine little woman trust me, she didn't listen to instructions, we got separated, I now believe in angels, and I don't beach dive with my wife anymore. Never leave your buddy things happen quickly.

nuff said

 

[Phrenzy]

Dammit!!! No wonder those hot scuba babes never called me back even though I schlepped their gears to their cars.

You need to read a page from the master, George Costanza. He recommends that you need to leave something with them, like a glove or a fin. Or you could mix it up a bit and take something of theirs. Then they have to contact you again to get their stuff back. Two or three dives later, they can't get your name out of their head.

Co-STAN-za! </ Mennen theme>​

 

[Cave Diver]

You need to read a page from the master, George Costanza. He recommends that you need to leave something with them, like a glove or a fin. Or you could mix it up a bit and take something of theirs. Then they have to contact you again to get their stuff back. Two or three dives later, they can't get your name out of their head.

For some odd reason this advice seems strangely famliar...

 

[eandiver]

I'm in the "You abandoned your buddy" camp.

I feel the same way.

 

[bill-da-ho]

Wow, I posted this this morning and didnt expect this much replies.. I havent read thru them all so forgive me if I say something that was already said.
First off, yes, I accept the responsibility that I should have stayed there,, actually, we were in 1 1/2 feet of water. And because everyone I have dove with,, three other buddies all did the same thing, I guess I thought she would too. If I had known that she had special needs prior to goin in, I would most certainly have helped her in and out. Yep, I was wrong there,, I always go over gear and whatnot,, where the octo is and all that, prior to a dive,, from here on out, I'll also be asking how they exit. I still think barring some disability, you should be able to tote your own gear.
Thanks for the responses tho,, I knew some flaming was comming,, Its hard being perfect(JK)

 

[JDMerk]

I do believe that you abandoned your buddy and the dive was not yet over.
However I personally will not dive with someone who is not physically, mentally and emotionally capable of making the dive on their own if need be. I will not dive with anyone who is making their dive planning dependent on me. Think for instance if you were in distress and needed to be rescued. Do you think she (having as much difficulty as she did with her own gear) could have performed an unconscious diver recovery from depth? And then brought that diver through the surf to a suitable area to perform CPR?

It sure doesn't sound like it.

She shouldn't have made the dive.
You shouldn't have made this dive with her.

 

[ChunksJR]

Nope, dive wasn't over. They were still in the water. This has been said on page 1. Read back The dive is over when you're back at your car with your buddy, at the entry point on the beach/sand with your buddy, on the rocky shore of a lake with your buddy, sitting on the boat bench with your buddy, sitting in your individual kayaks with your buddy.

And chilling...with beers and smokes in hand. My own 5 rules in diving, in order of priority:

1) Resperate
2) Communicate
3) Navigate
4) Delegate
5) *********