CathyE
Contributor
As did roughly 35 million other Canadians.
True, but unusual for me.
My husband usually makes me a pot of really good coffee every morning and puts it into a thermos. This morning I was pulling Grandma duty in Kingston.
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As did roughly 35 million other Canadians.
I think you and I can agree that "fell in the surf and is getting battered by the waves" is probably an unsafe situation. The situation I'm talking about is the woman who is confidently and surefootedly walking out into the water and you come running up and lift her tanks for her because you are worried she might hurt herself.
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Or, if you treat them the same as men, you get to be a jerk. Read my post above for clarification.If you change the way you talk and act around women than how you behave around only other men, you aren't showing more respect, you are disrespecting them because you are saying they are different and shouldn't be treated equally.
I will ask if someone needs help. I won't assume they do. I won't jump in and physically help without being asked, unless I believe the diver (male or female) is in serious trouble, and unable to help themselves.Alright, gonna put the obligatory 'not most men' here but is anyone else really sick of being called a 'lady diver' instead of a diver? Or people assuming that you need help even when you've got about 200 more dives under your belt then the fella trying to help you/feel you up in your suit.
And, that is understandable. Men and women can get rolled by waves on shore entries and exits. I have helped, and I have been helped by, female divers on a few Bonaire shore entries, as an example, when they or I stepped on the wrong piece of slick coral, just as a roller came it.. Gender is irrelevant as to whether you can be knocked over. And, gender is irrelevant as to who can help who.I was shore diving and fell over because of a loose stone and a strong wave and a guy started going on about how I couldn't take the weight because of being a woman and I wanted to sock him. Not the greatest impulse, and most guys couldn't be more helpful or gender neutral, but I can't stand it. It made me so pissed off.
I missed this part the first time I read the OP. My initial reaction was "WTF? What kind of pathetic loser is that?", but then I got thinking a little bit.the fella trying to help you/feel you up in your suit.
I missed this part the first time I read the OP. My initial reaction was "WTF? What kind of pathetic loser is that?", but then I got thinking a little bit.
IME suiting up and kitting up in mixed company can easily be a mite uncomfortable for the more modest people. If I'm helping my buddy or mate to adjust their neck seal, sometimes the easiest way to do that is to stick my hands inside their suit through the open backzip. If the buddy/mate is a woman, I might get (for some people) uncomfortably close to her chest, particularly if she's on the larger side. Also, helping someone to get hold of their crotch strap - something I've asked for help with on several occasions - necessarily means that your hands will be close to their crotch area. Basically, it's difficult to be of assistance without intruding the other person's personal space. And some folks are quite relaxed about that, others aren't.
Sometimes such things are perfectly legitimate but can be misunderstood, othertimes they are used as an excuse for being a creep. I can find that a bit difficult to relate to, even if I'm deliberately trying not to be a creep.
This is not specific to gender but it seems that courtesy is becoming a thing of the past. It’s not that the younger generation, there I said it, elects not to be courteous but rather that they don't seem to even know what it is. It seems courtesy is gone and down right rudeness and “its all about me” is the new social norm.
Rant over...
Now if I hold the door for a woman (pretty, ugly, young, old, doesn't matter), rarely do I get a pleasant nod or thank you (mostly from the old ones). I more often get a surprised look or a scowl. On the other hand, if I get discouraged and don't hold the door, I feel guilty. I guess if I see a woman diver fall in the surf, thrown about by waves, I should stand around unless asked for help. I certainly don't want to be accused of copping a feel (through a wet suit and a BCD, really?)
Oh well, I guess I'll continue to do as my mother taught: be helpful without touching, not because women are inferior, but out of respect.