Best GAGS, PRACTICAL JOKES or FUNNY MOMENTS UNDERWATER...

[AggieDad]

O.K. folks, I don't usually do anything but watch out for my own butt (and my buddy) on a dive, but here is one I heard about that seems harmless.
Canned Cheeze Whiz will not only perform like spray string (Kid's toy), but is enjoyed by most reef fish as it disintegrates.
Use your imagination! a small can smuggled down in a pocket can provide an unusual distraction to an ordinary dive if sprayed at an unsuspecting member of the group, in your own hair, etc. And as I said, the smaller fish in the reef will come out to enjoy every bit of this delicacy.
Dive safe, Airhead.

My dive instructor told me that he once had a class with a couple of teen age boys that thought they knew everything and that nothing was serious. At the lake for their OW dives he always tells the students to bring a can of Vienna Sausage or cans of Cheese Whiz. While down on the platform the catfish and perch get so thick you cannot see each almost. Anyway while doing their skills he motioned to them to hand them the can of Cheese Whiz and while they looked at him and prepared for the required skill he opened the can and squirted a stream of cheese whiz across the faceplate of their masks. Naturally it looked and probably seemed as if they had been attacked by piranha's. The two boys calmed down and worked hard after that.

 

[hecker-the-wrecker]

On my first wreck dive in Lake Superior (the Hesper) We were just about to go up the bouy line & my friend motioned me to "come over" He started to hand me some small stones. Every stone he picked and looked at with great interest, turning some over, throwing about every third one away. After I dropped one, I thought the world was comming to an end, had to start over. I had 17 stones cradled in my arms, and I was stuck to the bottom. Then I was concentrating so hard on holding the stones, I never noticed my "buddy" was up the bouy line laughing his mask off!!! This was his twisted initiation ritual. I can't wait until the "new guy" goes with us!!!

 

[DennisW]

A nice trick to do on a newbie is to lead the dive and near the end, after making sure the boat will be exactly over your shoulder, turn around to the newbie and give the hand signals for "Where is the boat?" I saw Walter do this with my wife, Donna and she had no clue where the boat was at the time. Maybe not a real funny gag, but it is interesting. I thought it was funny at the time.

 

[scubatwinned]

I was diving in NZ, we were going to dive the Rainbow Warrior. Everyone is loading the gear on the boat when this guy walks up. He has a wet skin on that is so tight really does not leave much to the imagination. He has 4 knives on his legs(2 on each leg, on the calf, and the thigh) Has these wrap around dark sunglasses on and 2 more knives in his hands. We sort of stand there looking at him, I could not hold my tongue and told him fetish diving was 2 slips over... off he went and gets on board some guys boat before we can stop him and all hell breaks loose, this guy is yelling and swinging a paddle at him and the poor basterd has no clue... We of course are howling with laughter. The dive master had to do a little fast talking to calm the boat owner down. Imagine someboby getting on your boat with all these knives... The guy gets on our boat with his tail between his legs but still put the new knives on his bc. He had about 20 dives and this was his first wreck dive. He figured that he would be able to reach at least one of the knives if he got stuck...

 

[Mako Mark]

jamespitt,
I'm sure that will be funny and sexy as hell as soon as you tell me what a "cozzie" is.

Neil

Cozzie is just the Australian word for "Togs"

lol

 

[Mako Mark]

I have a rubber snake that I keep in a pocket for boring dives.

When you pull the snake out from und a rock or inside a jug sponge (where you have hidden it) it actually looks like it is swimming. I fight with it for a little while, then take my reg out, bite its head and let him go limp.

his name is Jake, and he has dived with me in nine different countries now.

 

[DennisS]

A Navy diver I know told me that they used to put a cockroach in the helmet of newbies, just before they locked it on and sent him down.

 

[scubamate]

Anybody who knew Dan when he owned Gilboa Quarry knows who much he prized his trout. He paid for everyone of them and considered them pets.

I wanted to stop a the fish market on my way to the quarry and seeing as we were camping there, invite Dan to dinner. Imagine the look on the poor man's face when we handed him a skillet fried trout for dinner.

 

[Godly_Diver]

Keep in mind this is a Caribbean dive so all I'm wearing is a T-shirt and a pair of swimming trunks to dive in.

I had bought a chocolate candy bar at the store before the dive. You know where this is going? When we did our second/shallow dive (I had put the unwrapped candy bar in a zip lock sandwich bag ahead of time) I had the candy bar in my BC pocket. Once down I made sure to be just behind my group of friends so I could reach and get it out of the bag before anyone noticed. I did this then put it down the front of my shorts and then got their attention (I have one of those emergency alert air horn things on my BC hose and told them ahead of time to listen for it and it would signal that I seen something good). When they turned around all they saw was this brown stuff coming out of everywhere around my shorts and me shaking the bottom of my shorts as if to try and get it all out. Of course the fish from the reef had gathered to clean up the mess by now so it really added to the effect. I was laughing so hard in my BC I almost actually went to the bathroom. My dive buddies were doing the same except for my friends wife who had instead been suffering from a little sea sickness to begin with and this sent her over the edge and she proceeded to get sick through her regulator and the fish were having a field day to. Man do I wish we had a video camera on that dive it was a classic moment that is just hard to put in to words how great it worked.

Dude, this is the best one I've read so far...what a great moment it must have been!!!

 

[scubatwinned]

A video would have been very funny of that moment!!! Sort of a simular thing... I was diving a wreck in the tropics and I had only been there a few days... My stomach was not quite right yet. We got down to the ship and into a hold at 25 meters or so. The pressure?? along with the looseness of the situation was causing the inevitable... On my slate I wrote I had to release some wildcats and showed my buddy Rich... so I went off to a dark corner, light off and dropped my shorts hung upside down and began to laugh. Rich had not fully understood what was going on and came over to see what was up... His light caught my attention and as I released a grease cloud I looked over to see his eyes fill his face, disappear in a burst of bubbles and him swimming away fast... I did not think eyes could get that big... I hit my head on the bottom after loosing all the air in my lungs from laughing so hard...