Appropriate pairings?

[Keith.M]

So I recently started my DM training and will be taking my Deep and Search & Recovery specialties this weekend. I am really looking forward to the dives, hope the conditions are at least OK.

On a side note, I received some really exciting news from my 16 year old son today that he has decided he wants to start diving. I wanted him to start with me when I first started but at the time, he was 14 and had no interest at all. So I have never encouraged or tried to convince him. But a couple months ago he mentioned that he was considering it, and this afternoon he told me he definitely wants to. I am thrilled.

So I check out the schedule of upcoming Open Water Classes that have evening class and pool sessions along with ocean (Monterey) certification dives. Some classes certify in a local lake, but he definitely wants to do ocean, and that is where most of our diving would be anyways, so it just makes sense.

So I call the dive shop to see who is teaching the February class that meets his/our schedule. Turns out it is the CD, great! He is happy to hear my son wants to get started and suggests that this can be the Open Water Class that I assist with from start to finish. I am fine with that, but I do ask him if that is appropriate and he assures me he feels it is.

I wanted to see what others thought about that.

Bottom line though... I am SO jazzed!!!

 

[knotical]

There is no guarantee, but I suspect it will be just fine. Some family dynamics are such that it could be problematical, but as long as you both go in knowing what to expect there should be no unconquerable issues and your relationship could well benefit.

You role will be assisting the instructor. Your son’s role will be student. As long as neither tries to alter the roles, it should not be an issue. The most common thing I’ve seen when families do similar things is strengthening of bonds.

Enjoy your internship.

best wishes,

k

 

[Keith.M]

Thanks for the feedback.

We already actually had that discussion. I am NOT the instructor and would be there in a role to support the Instructor and monitor the students, him included.

I know I would not interfere or undermine the instructor and he understands who is going to be in charge. I am almost as much of a student in this role as he is.

But the end result? I look so forward to diving with my son!

 

[PsyWulf]

Long as you treat him the same as any other student it's golden. Only difference is you go home together

 

[SanDiegoSidemount]

My son, age 12, is my number one dive buddy. We just got back from traveling to do his first cavern dive at Devil's Den, Florida. "The coolest dive I've ever done," according to him.

As I've mentioned in another thread, I left my own son's scuba instruction to another instructor. My son worked harder, achieved more, and overcame more hurdles than he probably would have with me as his instructor. His instructor probably challenged him more than I would have. I just went along for the ride and kept my mouth shut.

Sounds like you have the perfect attitude. Hang out to watch and help when asked, and let the instructor be the instructor. You're going to have so much fun together after he's certified.

 

[RJP]

You will pay more attention to your son than other students, I don't care what you think. DMing the class puts the other students, the instructor, and your DMC development all at a distinct disadvantage.

The only upside to you working the class is that "you're so jazzed" which will not help your son, the other students, the instructor, or you.

If I were the instructor - or the father - I would happily have you observe the class as the parent of one of the students... but not as a DMC.

 

[dumpsterDiver]

Congratulations! Most boys, by the time the reach 16, "know more than their dad about everything" and have very little interest in doing things together.

 

[Jude Reilly]

I have a similar situation but a little more advanced. My son did his open water and advanced this year and I have just started the DM course. He wants to do some courses this summer, including rescue. I am perfectly happy to buddy with him on Search and Recovery, which I will also be taking, we buddied together to do Navigation. But for courses he is taking that I am already certified for, I do not want to assist. I'm not a clingy Mom, whilst I did hang out at the pool while he was doing his confined water dives and the dive site when he did his open water, I was occupied doing other things out of the water, taking pictures, and a little additional shore support. I will happily assist on a different group, we often have several courses running at the same time or indeed groups within the same course, but bottom line, I would rather not work with my own child in an instructional setting.
It's great that you will be able to dive together, my son is a great buddy and i'm looking forward to diving with him more this summer.

 

[Diver0001]

So I recently started my DM training and will be taking my Deep and Search & Recovery specialties this weekend. I am really looking forward to the dives, hope the conditions are at least OK.

On a side note, I received some really exciting news from my 16 year old son today that he has decided he wants to start diving. I wanted him to start with me when I first started but at the time, he was 14 and had no interest at all. So I have never encouraged or tried to convince him. But a couple months ago he mentioned that he was considering it, and this afternoon he told me he definitely wants to. I am thrilled.

So I check out the schedule of upcoming Open Water Classes that have evening class and pool sessions along with ocean (Monterey) certification dives. Some classes certify in a local lake, but he definitely wants to do ocean, and that is where most of our diving would be anyways, so it just makes sense.

So I call the dive shop to see who is teaching the February class that meets his/our schedule. Turns out it is the CD, great! He is happy to hear my son wants to get started and suggests that this can be the Open Water Class that I assist with from start to finish. I am fine with that, but I do ask him if that is appropriate and he assures me he feels it is.

I wanted to see what others thought about that.

Bottom line though... I am SO jazzed!!!

When presented with the children of divers I prefer to do the core skills part of the course separately and then to bring the parents in during the mod-5 pool session and the open water dives. The reason being that core skills are core skills and the student needs to follow my team's lead and nobody else until those skills are mastered. Near the end of the course, however, the parents often need to be taught how to dive with a newbie diver, especially when it's their child, because they'll be in a supervisory role.

In your case, since you're the DM for the course, I'd have to have a good talk with you. You're part of the team that has to teach core skills but your attention needs to be equally divided because all of your students need you. If you could convince me that that you could do that then I would be more than happy to have you on my team.

The point is, it's all fun and games until something happens. I had a DM once who brought his girlfriend for lessons. At one point during the confined sessions something happened (don't remember what) and she tried to bolt to the surface. I held her and made sure she was breathing to give her the chance to work it out....which *often* results in the student feeling more confident after the fact. The DM in this case literally shoved me aside and took his GF to the surface (poor thing).

Needless to say, I was not amused. I'm not the kind of person to get mad easily but I was this time. I sent that guy out of the water with a *very* clear message that he wasn't to come within 1/2km of the swimming pool with anything that even LOOKED like diving gear until I told him otherwise.

So yeah... I know the fantasy you have... that everything is going to be fantastic. But you have to understand that the instructor is going to want you to act like a professional even when the sht hits the fan. That's the button you have to press. If you can... Perfect. If you have doubts, it's better if you back out.

R..

 

[Jim Lapenta]

I was in the water for my son's OW cert in the pool and for his first two OW dives. I have to admit that it was hard. There are many mixed feelings as I know from experience and I have heard the same from a few others. There's the tendency to want to keep an eye on him, then there's the don't want to show favoritism, along with the hope he actually likes this, coupled with hope he doesn't do something dumb or I do something dumb and embarrass him. I had by the time he did his class assisted with somewhere in the area of 100 students and close to 25% of those were Jr OW. And it was that experience that made it easy for me to stay home when he did his final 2 checkouts. He had to do a second weekend for them due to sinus issues after the first. I have since had parents in the water with kids I have taught and I taught my nephew to dive (he was 22 though).

I would hesitate to allow a parent to assist with an OW cert of their child. It's a little different than just having them in the water as a buddy. My DMC has to demo skills, anticipate my needs for the class, give lectures at poolside and in the classroom. That puts added pressure on them that really does not need to happen. I would also want you to have assisted with a number of classes before this one if I did decide to allow it. I'm getting the impression, and I hope I'm wrong, that this is going to be your sole OW internship for DM? One class with your son in it? Nah. Not acceptable. I'd want you to have been interning for at least two or three before this and a few after. One OW class internship for DM is just nuts.

My DM internship was nearly a year and I assisted with close to 75 certs from OW to Rescue and the last class was for a few new DM's. After all this I still was not totally ok with the class my son was in. So I was there but hung back more from him than perhaps I should have. If I had to do it all over again I would not assist. I'd just sit in a corner and blow bubbles until it came time to be his actually dive buddy. And I'd pick an instructor that had no professional relationship to me at the time of the class. Ie I would not be his DM student at the same time he was teaching my kid.