Missdirected
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Good one Frank.
Australian answers dumb tourists' questions
- Thread starter Fish_Whisperer
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Fathom Five/Ocean Quest scuba diving on Kauai. Tunnels and Koloa Landing and more!
Kauai Diving These are real questions that our customers have asked...
Is this island surrounded by water?
Only at high tide.
Are those waterfalls in the mountains fresh water?
No...in fact giant life ending waves caused by an alien space craft are right at this moment pounding the other side of the island. What you are seeing is the small amount that has made it over the top and is trickling down this side. Aren't you glad you didn't go over to that side today?
If you go really deep, does your head explode?
Yes, and your hair falls out (just ask our owner, George)
Do you live here?
No, I commute but I have to tell you...all that rowing is killing me.
Are you going SCUBA diving?
(asked while George was standing chest high in the ocean in full scuba gear)
No...but I've found that if you buy a bunch of this scuba stuff and stand in the water until a really cute girl walks by on the beach, you can act like you've been scuba diving. It is easier to get a date. (The response: "Really")
What elevation are we at?
(This was asked on a boat 2 miles offshore by a guy with his logbook. Here is the exchange that occurred...)
Us - "How tall are you?"
Him - " 6'1" "
Us - "OK...then your elevation is 7'4" "
Him - "Cool...Thanks!"
Have you ever been eaten by a shark?
Yeah but don't worry...it grows back.
So, the boat dive is...uhhh...on a boat, right?
This one just happened (See, guys...I told you we would put you on our website!)
If I go diving, is my hair going to get wet?
Swear...it's true.
OK...this one isn't a question but a conversation and we had to include it in this section
We are on a boat off the big island of Hawaii. We are talking to a woman from Iowa and this is what occurred...
Her - "So, this is the Pacific Ocean?"
Us - "Yeah, what do you think?"
Her - "Well, to tell you the truth, I thought it would be bigger"
Fathom Five/Ocean Quest scuba diving on Kauai. Tunnels and Koloa Landing and more!
Kauai Diving These are real questions that our customers have asked...
Is this island surrounded by water?
Only at high tide.
Are those waterfalls in the mountains fresh water?
No...in fact giant life ending waves caused by an alien space craft are right at this moment pounding the other side of the island. What you are seeing is the small amount that has made it over the top and is trickling down this side. Aren't you glad you didn't go over to that side today?
If you go really deep, does your head explode?
Yes, and your hair falls out (just ask our owner, George)
Do you live here?
No, I commute but I have to tell you...all that rowing is killing me.
Are you going SCUBA diving?
(asked while George was standing chest high in the ocean in full scuba gear)
No...but I've found that if you buy a bunch of this scuba stuff and stand in the water until a really cute girl walks by on the beach, you can act like you've been scuba diving. It is easier to get a date. (The response: "Really")
What elevation are we at?
(This was asked on a boat 2 miles offshore by a guy with his logbook. Here is the exchange that occurred...)
Us - "How tall are you?"
Him - " 6'1" "
Us - "OK...then your elevation is 7'4" "
Him - "Cool...Thanks!"
Have you ever been eaten by a shark?
Yeah but don't worry...it grows back.
So, the boat dive is...uhhh...on a boat, right?
This one just happened (See, guys...I told you we would put you on our website!)
If I go diving, is my hair going to get wet?
Swear...it's true.
OK...this one isn't a question but a conversation and we had to include it in this section
We are on a boat off the big island of Hawaii. We are talking to a woman from Iowa and this is what occurred...
Her - "So, this is the Pacific Ocean?"
Us - "Yeah, what do you think?"
Her - "Well, to tell you the truth, I thought it would be bigger"
holding a cheese and a bunch of tulips.
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Fish_Whisperer
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Of course there was also the weekly column I wrote during our big fire of last May. In it I said our dive park was being drained by water dropping helicopters to help put out the fire around Dr. Bill's house. One woman, upon reading that, e-mailed to ask me how long it would be until the dive park refilled and she could dive there.
For those of you who don't know about the dive park here on Catalina, it is simply an area along the coast cordoned off by buoys and lines. It is in direct contact with the ocean... no walls, dams or other containing structures.
As far as I know, this question came from someone who had actually dived at the park in the past.
For those of you who don't know about the dive park here on Catalina, it is simply an area along the coast cordoned off by buoys and lines. It is in direct contact with the ocean... no walls, dams or other containing structures.
As far as I know, this question came from someone who had actually dived at the park in the past.
black durgon
Guest
my personal favorite,DOES THAT MOORING GO ALL THE WAY TO THE BOTTOM?. love the stoopid tourist good for a laugh, they crack me up!!!!!
almitywife
Vegemite Mod
i use to work for the Wilson Parking in australia... i use to get some good ones
eg; a 32 level building...... customer rings up and says on friday i could drive my 4WD Jeep into the carpark but today i cant/it doesnt fit. did you raise the floors over the weekend??
my response: no, but we did lower the ceilings so that might be the reason
eg; a 32 level building...... customer rings up and says on friday i could drive my 4WD Jeep into the carpark but today i cant/it doesnt fit. did you raise the floors over the weekend??
my response: no, but we did lower the ceilings so that might be the reason
H2ODog
Registered
We had someone tape a bug to a piece of paper, run it through the fax machine and ask us to identify it.
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