A very good friend of mine had a long-term friend and dive buddy die in his arms underwater. He still dives. He still TEACHES diving. The organization of which we are a part changed procedures after that accident, to close to hole that allowed it to occur. It never occurred to my friend, or to me, to stop diving because of that accident.
Bill, you are right -- you have to decide whether diving is the right thing for you and your wife to do. And the answer may be different for each of you. It's a complex equation involving how much pleasure you get from the activity (which actually can be hard to assess when you are a novice, because diving is SO much more fun when you are better at it), how good you are at managing urgent problems (those of us with emergency training are ahead on this), and how many other things you do that also give you pleasure. Nobody here on the board can add it up for you. All we can do is try to help you be realistic about what the risks really ARE, as best they can be assessed; the fact is that a great many people do simple recreational dives each year without incident, and a handful get injured or killed. That almost certainly compares favorably with my other passion, which is riding horses, an activity NO ONE can say is safe. Like diving, all you can do with riding is as much risk mitigation as you can, and accept that the activity will never be risk-free. Whether you want to do it enough to make up for that is something only you can decide. I gave up skiing because I was breaking too many bones doing it, and I didn't enjoy it enough to make it worth the pain and expense. Skiing is a great activity; it just wasn't for me.