PM-Performance:
Anyone here come to a close call like this and feel Ok about getting back into the water? I love diving and all, but my brother in law drowned like 2 weeks ago and I saw his face the whole way up thinking this was it. its all over. Im still somewhat yooung and I know my wife doesnt like me diving at all let alone after I told her this.
How would you all handle this?
First thing, you probably had your brother-in-law on your mind...it may have been too soon after his drowning for you to be comfortable diving. I'm sorry to hear he drowned...
I would say that it can be a positive thing that you at least you have the basic instinct to go for the surface...!
When I had a octo reg free flow situation (due to current from using a scooter) and went OOA at 75' alone, I had to make a conscious decision to go to the surface. I hate to say it, but I think the main reason I decided to go up was because I had a borrowed scooter and didn't want the owner to lose it if they never found my body!! (this was out in the ocean).
That was my second OOA situation, and my basic instinct is to try to breath water...
So, at least you haven't forgotten you're a land mammal!!
I think if you want to keep diving, you just need to practice sharing air A LOT, and always dive with a buddy you can trust. If you dive a few times with the intent of practicing skills only, you probably won't be as apt to panic. Maybe you could practice free ascents (but don't hold your breath!!) in fairly shallow water. You can ascend slowly (not slow enough for your computer, but slower than your bubbles), even if your completely OOA. I did it easily from 75 ft, and had only tried it once before, in my OW class 20 yrs earlier...
Maybe if you practice these things, you'll feel safer and be less apt to panic. I think the panic itself is what actually kills divers a lot of the time - causes mistakes in judgment. Anyway, best of luck to you if you decide to jump back in the water!