worst pun ever

[H2Andy]

hahaha... nice

 

[gt3073b]

What do you call a man with no arms or legs, in a pile of leaves? Russell

at the front door? Matt

in the water? Bob

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a hot tub? Stu.

 

[Bryan]

There was a new driver for the bus on Sesame Street. His first day on the job, he awoke bright and early, went to the garage, got the bus, and set off on his route.
At the first stop there was a chubby little girl waiting for the bus. She climbed the step and got on, and said,
"Hi. My name is Patty."
The driver replied,
"Hi, Patty. Please take a seat."
At the second stop there was a second little girl, even chubbier than the first. She got on and said,
"Good morning! My name's Patty."
The driver answered,
"Good morning. Please sit down."
At the third stop there was a little boy waiting. He was dressed in a white shirt and tie, and a suit with a vest, and he had a calculator holster on his belt. He said,
"Hi. My name is Ross, and I'm special!"
The driver wasn't impressed, but he managed a smile and said,
"Please sit down, Ross."
The fourth stop rewarded the driver with a grubby little boy with dirty jeans and torn sneakers. He got on the bus and said,
"My name is Lester Cheese."
The driver replied,
"Please take a seat, Lester."
Well, he's driving along and he looks in his rear-view mirror and sees that Lester Cheese has taken off his sneakers and is scratching at his foot. The driver pulls the bus over to the side of the rode, stops it, and says,
"I can't take this any longer! I've got
two obese Patties,
special Ross,
Lester Cheese picking bunions
on a Sesame Street bus!

 

[Mack Diver]

Ouch! That one got my tang all toungled up!

 

[hnladue]

What do you call a man with no arms or legs in a hot tub? Stu.

How about a man with no arms and legs that hangs on a wall?? Art.

 

[Squashie]

How about a man with no arms and legs that hangs on a wall?? Art.

What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs out at the beach?? Sandy.

What do you call two guys with no arms and no legs sitting on a window sill?? Kurt & Rod.

What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of a baseball diamond?? Second base.

What do you call a dog with no arms and no legs?? Doesn't matter, he won't come anyway.

Somebody save me before I start these again!

 

[H2Andy]

this is a really bad one

Rene Descartes (the father of modern mathematics) dies and goes to heaven. when he gets there, he notices several ladies of the night (as in, prostitutes) waiting for entry at heaven.

St. Peter comes back, looks at the prostitutes, makes sure they're on his book (they are), but then looks at Descartes and says, "What an honor! Please come this way!"
and rushes him past the prostitutes.

at which point one of the attendant saints says to St. Peter, "You can't do that!"

"Why not?" says St. Peter


here it comes ....

here it comes ....

here it comes ....

"Because," says the attendant, "You're putting Descartes before the w.h.o.r.e.s"

 

[sandshaker]

I drove my expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

 

[Mack Diver]

How about a man with no arms and legs that hangs on a wall?? Art.

I see said the blind man to his deaf daughter who nodded in agreement.

 

[Jcsgt]

this is a really bad one

You're right, but I laughed anyway.