"Women's Secrets"

[Tavi]

That link may come in handy to some women. Especially if their restrooms look as bad as ours do sometimes (I've seen places that I wouldn't want to sit down).

Tavi

PS.I Don't remember the shearch criteria. I used to do a lot of surfing before I found Scuba Board.

 

[seaangel]

Ok, Syruss gave quite an exhaustive listing on Mens Secrets.
Ladies we need to do better, or is it that we now know who really has all the secrets??? Hmm, me thinks we better not tell.


Bottoms Up...Bubbles Up!!!!
Cindy

 

[The Chairman]

Why every vaccuum has a "crevice tool" and how it is actually employed? You see, men don't "suck" at everything... in fact we are very natural in that we abhor vaccuums. Or maybe the ladies are just keeping us away from their little secret... I know how I use MY crevice tool... but this is about the ladies!

:tease:

 

[ScubaBaby]

1) The reason we ask you to put the seat down after you’ve pee’d is down to the fact you havent quite got to the stage of not pee’ing on the seat!

2) The reason we ask you to close cupboards after you’ve opened them, is normally to hide the messing contents

3) The reason we like soppy films, is it gives us an excuse to cry about all the things wrong with our men without having them going “Whats wrong this time?”

4) We don’t trust you when your being nice cause your probably only doing it cause you have had any for a while

5) The reason we stop dressing up, doing make-up after being in a relationship for a few months is
- you keep moaning at how much it costs
- you never say “You look nice” without meaning “Lets go to bed!”
- as soon as we get the clothes on……your taking the off for us!

6) The reason your scared of our driving, we actually try to drive bad cause we want you to drive so when we go out we can have a drink while you’re on the OJ!

7) When you complain about the fact we haven’t shaved our legs and they are spikey……. I quote Syruss:
“Shaving is not a fun thing to do”….get over it !

8) The reason women love shopping so much :
- men hate it....we get peace!

9) “Making the bed is acceptable, adding all the comforters and pillows, and teddy bears is a total waste, since we are hoping you will be in there with us having sex before the day is through." - Syruss
the reason we ask you to put in the effort is :
- so you realise how peed we are when you throw off the comforters for sex
- so that we might actually be able to do it somewhere other than in the bed with us on top – just cause your lazy b*****ds

10) The reason we want to “talk” after sex, is cause we know you want to roll over and go to sleep!

11) When we say “No” – IT MEANS NO

12) When we say “We’ll see” – IT MEANS NO

13) When we say “Can you…..?” – it means you automatically say Yes

14) When we say “Hunny?” “Sweetie?” or “Baby?” – it means I am about to ask you to do something a tad more challenging than sitting on your arse watching TV…so move it !

15) When we say “Yes” – IT MEANS DON’T BLOODY STOP!!!!!


THE END! (for now!)

 

[syruss32]

ScubaBaby,

I am afraid that you are way more woman than most men could handle. And my hats off to you as yours were pretty darn good to.

I also think you should seek medical help cause obviously you are as warped as I am and I know I need counciling hehehehe

 

[Ontario Diver]

Of course; dear Scubababy. Now that you've given us the rules, rule 16 now comes into play---

16) When a man is suspected to know the rules, the rule must change on an hourly basis until he gives up trying to figure out the rules.

 

[syruss32]

Originally posted by Ontario Diver
Of course; dear Scubababy. Now that you've given us the rules, rule 16 now comes into play---

16) When a man is suspected to know the rules, the rule must change on an hourly basis until he gives up trying to figure out the rules.

The reality if man ever truely understands woman or visa versa the world will probably come to an end. I know if I started thinking like my wife it'd scare the life right out of me.

Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid! God never intended us to think like them or them like us. Or if he did intend it, it is a cruel joke that hasn't been played out on us men yet and we are doomed.

Hey guys you want to go shopping, they have the new dollar store about 20 miles south. Oh and they just opened a container store we should get some good deals there, thats like about 30 miles north. Oh and I almost forgot Bealls is having a sale on factory seconds bras, how can we miss that. And only 20 miles south again. Then we can do lunch maybe a small salad and a diet coke, then we'll hit Baskin Robbins. That should be on my diet.

Now that we have our second wind, lets look for clothes they have a petite store in the mall and we can look at all the dresses that would barely fit one of our legs, but they are nice. I might pick up a couple for when I lose 200 pounds. And then get some of those spiked heels, my feet have stopped swelling from the last time I wore the ones I bought and broke them so I need a new pair, will you help me pick out a pair in size 5 that will fit a 12?

We are going to have great fun and when we get back we can decide to re-arrange the house and do that spring cleaning.

Ahhhh.... I am woman hear me roar.....

 

[lildiver]

when a woman replies "I can do it myself" to the question,"would you like some help?", guys you've already waited way to long to offer.

~lildiver

 

[The Chairman]

When confronted by a direct question, act like you didn't hear it... again, may I ask the purpose of the "crevice tool" on vaccuum cleaners... (ID, I win the bet if they don't answer today!!!)

:tease:

Women's secret 16.1154215

When a man answers your direct question in an efficient manner, obfuscate reality by complaining how they never take you seriously.

Women's secret 16.1154216

Never ask a question that can be answered succinctly.

Women's secret 16.1154217

Never ask a question that can be interpreted in only one way.

Women's secret 16.1154218

Never acknowledge that an answer to your question is un-ambiguous.

Women's secret 16.1154219

NEVER EVER intimate, suggest or concede that a man's answer might be right or even have any thread of truth in it at all. See Women's secret 16.1154217.

 

[Ontario Diver]

My ex and her girlfriends often wonder.....

If a man alone in the forest say something and there is no one there to hear him.....Is he still wrong?

Then they's say "Yes" in unison and all start laughing.