Wife is new diver want to be a better dive partner

[fnfalman]

Holding the BCD inflator really bugs me, and automatically puts me off as I take it as a sign of fear/ lack of experience, and weakness.

Yeah, you're right. This lady with a whole 4-5 dives under her belt should automatically dive like an old hand.

Of course she has no experience. Of course she's hesitant and has fear. I don't know about you, but there are plenty of newbies out there with self-doubts and fears regardless of how well trained they were in OW classes.

I'd rather a newbie keeping a hand on that inflator to get ready to vent or inflate as needed than fumbling for it and ended up neither venting nor inflating when the situation calls for.

The lady needs some help with proper weighting, which should result in less fiddling with the inflator button. She also needs to get more practice and help in how to establish neutral buoyanch, which should result in less fidling with the deflator button.

I'm sure that there are some badass mamajama out there who dive like they have hundreds of dives under their belts right out of OW training, but for most of us mortals, we needed lots of mentoring and coaching.

 

[Dominantly]

Yeah, you're right. This lady with a whole 4-5 dives under her belt should automatically dive like an old hand.

Of course she has no experience. Of course she's hesitant and has fear. I don't know about you, but there are plenty of newbies out there with self-doubts and fears regardless of how well trained they were in OW classes.

I'd rather a newbie keeping a hand on that inflator to get ready to vent or inflate as needed than fumbling for it and ended up neither venting nor inflating when the situation calls for.

The lady needs some help with proper weighting, which should result in less fiddling with the inflator button. She also needs to get more practice and help in how to establish neutral buoyanch, which should result in less fidling with the deflator button.

I'm sure that there are some badass mamajama out there who dive like they have hundreds of dives under their belts right out of OW training, but for most of us mortals, we needed lots of mentoring and coaching.

I know that I probably sound arrogant, but I just felt as though she was so far behind everyone, it really became a cog in the wheel. It wasn't really her buoyancy that was the issue, she was just afraid of the water and that was her escape button, she swam with it in her hand the whole time. I personally think that is a bad habit, I mean if you panic at depth and hit that button, you are going to end up like that woman at Catalina last year.

I'm use to the military world where during training, they throw you in the water and try to drown you.

 

[farsidefan1]

Another vote for Tammys suggestion. A good patient instructor. Telling your wife what to do is very rarely a good choice. She will listen much more to an instructor and you don't end up in the doghouse. The instructor brings much needed credibility to the table. That way you can focus on getting better yourself and she will gain confidence in herself and you. If you persist in nagging her may God help you - and that may not be enough.

 

[sabbath999]

I'm use to the military world where during training, they throw you in the water and try to drown you.

With all due respect, if your Scubaboard dive count is accurate, you yourself are still a beginning diver... I have about four times as many dives as what you have listed there and I feel like I am too much of a NOOB to offer advice to divers, that's what professional instructors and experienced mentors are for... folks with many hundreds if not thousands of dives.

Get her some help with either more training either on a bunny dive or in the pool from either a qualified instructor/divemaster or with an extremely experienced and patient mentor.

 

[Dominantly]

I have dives listed?

No worries, it was an out of the blue meeting. I'm sure she'll be just fine with time and more experience. For the record, I never offered her advice, It just was something that kept my eye and caused a couple head shakes. I was even nice enough to tow her into shore without a word.

I dive with fellow Navy divers, so I know what to expect (I hope )

 

[kelpmermaid]

I think the dive count comment may have been intended for the original poster.

 

[TSandM]

Dominantly, I think you are right. Holding, and constantly fiddling with the inflator, is a sign of lack of confidence and lack of skill.

Some of us come out of open water that way. Some people have really poor classes, and others have very little talent, and the unfortunate diver has both. I was the latter, and I held my inflator or I held somebody's hand; I had no buoyancy control, and I was nervous as a cat.

I'm Full Cave and tech certified five years later. Patience, and kindness, can go a long way to helping people like the woman you saw. If NWGratefulDiver had written me off as hopeless, a little less than five years ago (it was in September, not July) I might not be diving now.

Confidence can be a matter of temperament, or of skill. Skill comes with guidance and practice. Not every diver is talented. Some of us take a good bit of work to pull it together.

 

[Dominantly]

Good point, and very true.

Especially when you consider how this sport has some real consequences, so it's justifiable to be nervous. A little experience can build some confidence, and it just rolls on from here.


BTW I like the Avatar, I'm a big Star Trek fan!

 

[fnfalman]

I know that I probably sound arrogant, but I just felt as though she was so far behind everyone, it really became a cog in the wheel. It wasn't really her buoyancy that was the issue, she was just afraid of the water and that was her escape button, she swam with it in her hand the whole time. I personally think that is a bad habit, I mean if you panic at depth and hit that button, you are going to end up like that woman at Catalina last year.

I'm use to the military world where during training, they throw you in the water and try to drown you.

This ain't the military world, and even in the military world, they didn't throw you in the water and try to drown you. They showed you the basics of drownproofing and then throw you in the water. You ain't the only one on Scubaboard who had ever wore the military uniform.

Navy divers train to a different standard and do different things.

 

[vlmuke]

Thanks Everyone for the advice I will get her some mano a mano time with the instructor if you look at one of my earlier posts I thought it was funny that she only had four pool sessions before her open water where I had 13 before I had mine I never said I was an expert by any means