What to do about a cheater?

[Foo]

Except maybe the innocent wife when she has (probably) unprotected sex with someone she thinks it's safe because she is married to him?

Salient point. The wife deserves to know. One way or the other, she will eventually find out. Better now than later. If he quits seeing your friend now, he will find another woman later. How should the wife find out? That's a tough one, and I'm not sure. I'm leaning more toward the camp that says to back off- vermin generally breed more vermin. A loser like him will do something stoooopid soon, and get busted.

I would like to say that your friend deserves better than this guy, but she's no better than him. She's using him just like he's using her. She knows he's married and doesn't plan to leave his family- as others have stated, a cake & eat it, too kind of guy. She knows he's married and neither of them have regard for the children and wife. Of course, she doesn't really owe the wife any alliegance, but the husband damn sure does.

Honestly, I couldn't hang out with your friend. I'm not judging her or you, but I would back off of her until she either comes to her senses, gets dumped, or ends up testifying in divorce court. I don't think you'd be a bad friend by putting space between you- in case you haven't noticed, it's all about her, anyway. How sad that she isn't willing to make the effort to find a nice, single guy. Contrary to popular belief, they are out there.

Foo

 

[Foo]

Why discriminate against her just because she likes a married guy?!

You gotta be kidding...

I don't really see any discrimination here. What I see are two insecure and immature adults who are willing to take a chance on destroying lives so that they can satisfy primal urges. She must be desperately needy, and he must be trying to prove that he's still got it. She doesn't just LIKE the married guy, she's whoofing him every time his wife goes to work. HELLL-LLO!

DyberBoi, the reason that people get fuzzy about this type of behavior is because it's not playing fair. It's against the rules. It shows lack of respect. It's not nice. It's dangerous. Remember, he's MARRIED.

Definition of marriage from Dictionary.com:

"Main Entry: mar·riage
Pronunciation: 'mar-ij
Function: noun
1 : the state of being united to a person of the opposite sex as husband or wife in a legal, consensual, and contractual relationship recognized and sanctioned by and dissolvable only by law —see also DIVORCE"

Oops, looks like it's also the LAW.

Foo

 

[radinator]

Mempilot raises an interesting point I hadn't considered in my earlier post.

I had just assumed the original poster was female, talking about a female friend. Now I see I weas mistaken, and that the OP was male.

That would put a whole new dimension on why he would be so interested in what his "friend" is doing.

The conclusion is valid however. If he does do something (like tell the wife), it is more about the original poster than his friend.

 

[Foo]

I propose a question,or scenario. Your out on the town and you see your best friends wife or husband, except they are all aver someone you dont even know,so you find out they are having an affair. YOU DONT TELL YOUR FRIEND??? thats messed up! wouldnt you want them to know?

Yours is an entirely different scene from this scenario. You are the friend of the "affairee", not the one who is being cheated on. One of the WIFE'S friends needs to tell her. It's not really your place. Who knows, wifey may be going to her sugar-daddy's house, instead of work. She may be turning a blind eye so that she can do her own dirty work. You never know what's really going on with people.

And yes, I would tell my married friend, in your scenario. It would be hard, but how could I call myself a friend if I didn't help them? My friend could become diseased because Mr. or Mrs. Married didn't care enough to protect themselves/family while out there fooling around.

Foo

 

[SteveDiver]

Ladies I need your advise, I have a friend who is totally in love with a guy that lives in her condo complex, He is married and has 2 kids. He has told her that he has no intention of leaving his family but wants to continue their affair. they meet quite often for "some special times" while his wife is at work. I feel Bad for my friend because she doesnt even put an effort into meeting new people because she belives they will end up together. I feel I need to step in before she gets in too far and does something stupid. I feel like sending an anonymous letter to his wife without naming my friend. whats everyones thoughts?

1-Leaving anonymous letters is for cowards..I have no respect for someone that does not speak their mind and that is not up front. Nobody has to wonder what I am thinking because I say it in person.

2-You need to find the reason that this bothers you so much, if you have feelings for your friend you need to deal with your feelings.

3- They are adults and it is their business regardless if you agree with what they are doing.

I had a friend that was cheating on his wife and I told him that I do not agree with his behavior and what he is doing to his family therefor, he needs to stay away from me because I am not surrounding myself with friends that are immorral and dishonest. So we are no longer friends.

It takes two, your friend is just a guilty as the guy she is seeing...SHE KNOWS he has kids and a wife and continues to see him regardless of the wife and kids! Nice friend...you have!!! they both are selfish and insensitive and want to "get off" at the expense of others! I wish your friend and her lover the WORST that life has to offer!

 

[SteveDiver]

That's true, but if the letter were sent to the husband, it could come from possibly an number of sources. I dare say he's probably mentioned his conquest to one or two of his buddies.

A note to the husband would give him the opportunity to end the liasion at his discretion and in a manner he thinks least destructive.

Agree..I would approach the husband and confront him about the affair. I would keep the wife out of it. I stil think he should not be in their business..He may loose a friend however, who wants a friend that is dishonest and immorral? Obviously she does not respect the institution on marriage or she would not be seeing him. And if the original poster has feeling for this women he might want to reconsider obviously she likes married men...and cannot be trusted..

 

[Randy43068]

You could try to get some pictures and anonymously send a copy of them to the husband….

Stay out of it. This is the kind of thing people who are bitter and selfish do..

 

[ShakaZulu]

PM me his wife's number.........

 

[SueMermaid]

It's nice of you to worry, but its not your job. In fact, it's none of your business, and it is something you do not want to get involved in. No amount of your ranting or raving wil cool their passion.

Leave them alone. The only thing you can do is be a friend to her. Seriously. This is none of your business.

 

[SueMermaid]

Foo, "whoofing"? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?