What to do about a cheater?

[opiniongirl]

take photos, send to the wife. If you feel for your friend, nothing you will say to her will convince her to fall out of love. If he does it to his own wife, he'll do it to her, too. Think of it as an intervention.

Bust the affair. I do not know of any woman who wouldn't want to know.

 

[DyperBoi]

You should midn yoru own business, and stop interfering in tohers people's lives. What two consenting people do between themselves is none of your business. Why discriminate against her just because she likes a married guy?!

 

[SteveDiver]

Ladies I need your advise, I have a friend who is totally in love with a guy that lives in her condo complex, He is married and has 2 kids. He has told her that he has no intention of leaving his family but wants to continue their affair. they meet quite often for "some special times" while his wife is at work. I feel Bad for my friend because she doesnt even put an effort into meeting new people because she belives they will end up together. I feel I need to step in before she gets in too far and does something stupid. I feel like sending an anonymous letter to his wife without naming my friend. whats everyones thoughts?

Not a lady here however, I could not resist... stay out of it! you may loose a good friend and create a disaster and break up a family with kids...their indescretions are their business eventually it will come to a conclusion. They both are aware that their relationship is not going anywhere and it is just for "special times" this is their business.
Who are you to dictate your morals or ideals on another? They are adults and know the risks. Is there an underlying reason here? maybe you are jealous of the relationship that your friend is having...

 

[ShakaZulu]

My only concern is for the two kids who are being raised by this A-hole. Why don't people realize that if they decided to have kids, they need to be mature and do the right thing at all times??? Push him off the balcony.......yes, your friend needs to come right too. She's controlling this thing, she says stop, it stops. Do whatever you can to stop it now. It's amazing how often grownups need to have a father/mother. They just never get any brains. All we need now is for the girlfriend to fall pregnant.

 

[Scuba_Jenny]

Agree with ya ShakaZulu. Think of the kids.

 

[radinator]

What is YOUR purpose in getting involved?

Don't say it's to protect your friend, you already acted on that, and your friend decided to ignore your advice. If you go farther with this, you are doing it for YOUR reasons, not hers.

You're also not doing it for the kids, because telling the wife would surely mess up their situation. Also, you already said in your first post that he won't leave his wife & kids, so as long as the wife doesn't know, the kids situation is stable. Telling her does not help them, but can only hurt them. They may be hurt eventually, but that is not under your control. If you tell her now, you WILL hurt them.

I think it's about you, and I have an idea you have one of two goals:

1. You want to make yourself feel important, by seeing what a large affect you can have on other people's lives. You tell the wife, s*** hits the fan, lives are in chaos, and you can sit there in your moral superiority satisfied that you made it all happen.

2. You want to PROVE to your friend it is a bad idea, by telling her that it will not end well, and then by making it happen. (see #1).

So, which is it?

You've done your part by talking to your friend. I'm afraid anything you do beyond that is about you, not her.

 

[mempilot]

I ask this:

Do you have romantic feelings for your female friend? It seems unwise to go further than to advise her. Getting involved in the situation beyond that makes you a third wheel. Third wheels tend to have some 'stake' in the matter. Be careful.

I also ask this:

Why is the the guy the only ahole? The girl knows he's married with kids. In my mind, it makes her an ahole too. So let the two aholes lie in the bed they made and stay out of it. You wouldn't want to be part of an ahole trilogy, would you?

 

[Turtle Gal]

I agree with those who tell you to STAY OUT OF IT!! Turtle Gal

 

[DyperBoi]

Yeah, why is it always the guy who is the jerk, but not the woman who is having fun with him?!

Nice hypocritical double standard!

 

[mk57nato]

Actually i think you have the problem, the friend and the guy are both idiots thats plain to see. but you need to dump the supposed friend and redefine your terms for friendship. You need work on not having friends that exhibit destructive life behavior. I would tell the friend that they are a moron and to hit the bricks, and that if anything bad happens theres the perfect term.... you made your bed now lay in it.