What is a "good" dive buddy?

[TSandM]

Lisa, you are asking great questions.

You've gotten a lot of information about what people look for in a dive buddy. But to address your issue about your friend, if you don't feel confident enough of your own skills to dive with another beginner, then don't. That's exactly how I felt after I got certified, so I did my first twenty or so dives with much more experienced people. Then I finally did a real simple dive in a familiar site with one of my classmates, and we were SO stoked when we finished it, and felt like we had really accomplished something.

But just because you may want to delay diving with your friend, doesn't mean that you guys can't eventually end up being dive buddies. Eventually, if you stay hooked on this sport and dive locally, you're going to want to find someone who wants to dive as much as you do; who will dive under the same conditions you will; whose diving STYLE matches yours; and who is fun to be around and to dive with. Your friend may well turn out to be that person, even if he isn't what you need right now.

 

[jepuskar]

I would have to say a good dive buddy is someone who doesn't lie about having terminal cancer for 2 years and a major lawsuit related to it.

 

[Jafo123]

I have a question. You all have very good ideas on what a good dive buddy is and what one is supposed to be. I'm not arguing with any of you on any of it. What I want to know is HOW is a new diver supposed to get trained to be a good buddy? Yes going with an instructor is a good idea but it's going to get to a point where even he isn't going to hold you hand all the time. Going with another diver with more experiance again another good idea but there again for how long. If you dive with a new diver where do you draw the line in teaching him or her to be a good buddy and give up? I'm willing to dive with any new diver right out of OW class but they have to understand there will be disscusions before and after the dive about what I expect and what I have seen in there awarness. If they are trying I'll keep on diving with them even if they have the occasional slip up.

 

[dave4868]

In another thread I asked people to tell me what they thought was the ONE most important thing they could tell a beginner if they could only tell one thing. Of course, there isn't ONE thing. But the variance of responses (and the fact that quite a few "broke" the ONE suggestion part of the thread ) was interesting.

One response though, was to find a dive buddy you can rely on. That got me thinking...

What makes someone a good dive buddy? Are there certain things (or characteristics)you should look for or avoid?

I don't think it should just be that you are both divers of the same or similiar skill level. It can't be simply that you're friends and want to be dive buddies. There's got to be more to it.

So, experienced divers, with or without your own dive buddy (or buddies) ... give me (and the other new divers) your advice/expertise/views. Thanks!

Other than a dive buddy having good common sense and basic diving skills, I think the primary qualities that make a buddy a "good" one are having good self awareness and presence of mind, good situational awareness, good communication skills and simply caring about the other diver's safety.

One of the best dive buddies I ever had was a recently certified diver and some of most useless buddies were experienced divers. Skill level wasn't the primary quality.

Buddies don't have to be perfect, but I worry most about those who don't give an honest or accurate self-appraisal when expressing their comfort with a dive either before or during the dive. A good buddy doesn't try to BS me or themselves. A good buddy who honestly and accurately expresses their limitations is less likely to get into a panic situation.

That's the big one for me, since it can reduce the greatest risk for both divers, IMHO.

Otherwise, as you try different buddies, you'll find the ones who are good for you.

A good buddy:

• discusses the dive plan openly and honestly, doesn't put pressure on you or themselves and doesn't make unilateral decisions
• goes slow and stays close during the dive, looking at the other buddy often, rarely leaving
• communicates well with hand signals, giving enough time for understanding and response
• has no problem aborting when they or you are uncomfortable with a dive

It is also important to have a similar diving goal and/or style, since that can allow both to concentrate on being a good buddy.

Many of us simply want to enjoy the tranquil experience itself, but when buddied up with someone who may be trying to impress others, compete or prove something, they may be more likely to be self-absorbed, cause problems or not be there to solve problems.

Frankly, you'll know very quickly who's a good buddy for you!

Dave C

 

[Parysa]

I have a friend who wants to be my dive buddy. He also just started diving (about a month after I did) and only just got certified... I'm a bit nervous about the two of us being brand new beginners (less than 10 dives under our belts, including the dives for getting certified).
I kinda feel that I'd like someone who is at least a tad bit more experienced than I am, JUST IN CASE!!
I don't want to hurt this guy's feelings, but if I'm not feeling comfortable about being buddies when the spring comes and we start diving in our area, then I'm just going to have to hurt feelings, I guess. Better to feel safe, then to save face.

Another option you have is that if you know other divers who are more experienced, you can ask to dive together as a foursome, whether each of you pair up with one of the more experienced divers, or whether you and your friend pair up and the other two are there. As long as you explained what you wanted, you could probably have them help watch out for you and your friend so that you can see how well the two of you do together and if you're comfortable diving with him.

 

[JMdiver]

This is why I think learning to dive at home is important. It gives you a close site that you are familiar with where you can go back and practice. I also believe new divers should do one extra dive at their check-out site with their buddy but without any instructor/DM/etc in the water the same day they finish their final check-out dive. That first dive on your own is scary but it also shows you "Hey, I really CAN do this." Same thing with your first dive with a new buddy. Go to a site you know and do an easy shallow dive. You are certified to dive in conditions similar to those in which you trained. There is no shame in wanting a nice easy dive to get used to being buddies, if he has a problem with that then no, I wouldn't dive with him.

I will never forget the day a diver I didn't know walked up to our picnic table and asked if we could answer a question. He had 5 dives (just certified), his friend had 7 dives and a third diver had 9 dives. Mr. 9 Dives wanted to go to 80 feet at the local site and Mr. 5 Dives wasn't sure this was a good idea so he asked us. The look on his face when I said "You're going to die" let me know he was going to heed our advice. This site requires an advanced certification, a deep dive plan and deep experience or instructor supervision to dive the deep part of the quarry. My buddy, also an instructor explained all that to Mr. 5 Dives and we offered to change our dive plan and take them with us to 60 feet. My buddy chided me for telling the kid he was going to die but after diving with them to 60 feet we both saw I was right. We gave them some things to work on and told them to get some shallow practice. Mr. 9 Dives was by far the worst of the three divers and the one who didn't want to ask anyone for advice.
Ber :lilbunny:

Bad how?

John

 

[micklock]

I think a pony bottle (or any redundant air source on your own back) and yourself are your best buddy, I've always felt more comfortable not having to worry about how far away my buddy is if I need air now! A Self-reliant diver can handle problems even if a buddy is not around or paying attention.

 

[Colliam7]

It is also important to have a similar diving goal and/or style, since that can allow both to concentrate on being a good buddy.

Very good point. Two divers - good friends, similar level of (in)experience, etc. - can be terrible buddies because their goals are different. One wants to spend time underwater marveling at the sights, the other wants to work on skills and ignore the sights. Both have perfectly valid reasons for diving, but may not find diving together to be optimal. I started diving with a friend and work colleague who got certified at about the same time I did. Most of our dives between certification and dive 50 were done together, and our styles developed along very similar lines. So, we each started out diving with a really inexperienced buddy. But, we started slow with progressive expansion of our 'diving horizon' (relatively shallow quarry dives, then moderate depth coastal dives, then the Keys reefs, then the Duane and the Grove). We found we both wanted to primarily work on skills, with a bit of sightseeing thrown in. We did some group charter trips where we knew the others in the group, where we were buddies, and some of the other buddy teams included divers with more experience or the same experience. I didn't feel uncomfortable because of my inexperience or his, and actually felt better because I knew he wanted to get the same thing out of the dive as I did. Maybe I am too conservative but, to this day, I have never paired with a previously unknown 'insta-buddy'. I have added an unknown insta-buddy to a two-person team, but I have always done so while diving with someone with whom I knew I was compatible.

 

[offthewall1]

I know many who believe the best buddy is a self-reliant buddy. In other words, two people who can jump in the water together to fool the dive operator (into thinking they'll stay together.) In reality, they plan on each doing their own thing and have redundancy as their buddy.

This is all fine and good for divers who have proper solo diver training or who have years of experience and are willing to accept the risks involved. Generally speaking, there are more risks then most solo divers realize and plan for.

Sure, most solo divers with redundancy have adequate air supply in the event of an equipment failure to get themselves back to the surface and maybe even to the exit point. The problems are frequently not with air supply, but with other possible unexpected events.

A solo diver may become entangled and no matter how self sufficient he/she is, may need a buddy's help to get loose. A solo diver may get severe leg cramps and be unable to swim back to the boat without the assistance of a buddy tow. A solo diver may be injured or suffer a stroke, mild heart attack or other malady disabling his or her ability to get back to the boat... and an otherwise treatable event will be listed as a tragic death.

I dive solo myself. I also dive with buddies. I feel however, the security of at least knowing my body will likely be recovered if with a buddy (to quicken the insurance payout to my family) soothes my soul.

Dive with a Buddy... at a bare minimum... it helps to ensure the insurance industry pays ontime.

 

[Jim Lapenta]

I've always considered that the best buddy is the one who knows you well enough that they will not put you in any situation where you will need them. More that they are there because you want them to be and they want to be.

I frequently dive solo. I have the experience, equipment and mindset to do so. I accept the risks involved and choose my sites carefully. But you know what, I do the same for dives where a buddy is involved. I don't dive in conditions that would jeopardize my safety or his/hers. With students or newbies I make sure that the dive is not beyond their training. I'll help someone increase their experience level with in reason. Been to 50 ft and wanna go to 60? Ok sure. IF their skills are good enough. Only been to 50 one time in the caribbean? Well guess what? If you wanna do it locally in colder water, with 4-5 ft vis then we are gonna stay shallow till I'm satisfied you'll be ok deeper.

All of the dives I do with a buddy, except for my technical dives where I know exactly who I'm diving with, I'll also do solo unless it's under conditions I've not experienced before. For instance I have no problem doing a night dive to 120 ft in our local lake alone. I know where I am, I'm carrying the gear and sufficent air, and am comfortable with doing it. I would not do the same dive in a quarry I've not dove before without someone who has been there.

When I go to the Keys I have no problem doing all my reef dives alone. I don't do insta buddies unless forced to by the op. I've dove the Grove and the Duane in mill pond conditions and when the current had us flapping like flags in the wind on the down line. I also was fortunate enough to have dove previously with everyone that week so I knew who I was with and pretty much hopw they reacted. Only my last dive on the Duane was with someone I did not know but Conch Republic assured me he knew what he was doing and we had a great time.

But you need to remember that the same things that get you into trouble solo can get two people into trouble just as fast. One very new diver trying to assist another very new diver in an entanglement situation can easily result in two victims. You push your experience level by diving with someone who is at or beyond the level you want to get to. You pick their brain as to what they did, training they got, who they got it from, and why they chose them. And if they say or do anything that makes you the slightest bit uneasy about the route they took, run to someone else. Pushing the envelope should be exciting and challenging, a little nervousness is to be expected. BUt if you find yourself thinking "this is nuts" or you are only doing it because your buddy is and don't really want to then it most likely is not an area you are ready for just yet.

Having your AOW with one dive to 90 ft and opening a lock or writing your name backwards in no way makes you ready to do a dive like the Grove or the Duane even in ideal conditions. And the buddy with little more experience who says "aw c'mon, it's no biggie" is the one who may get you very dead. Each time I choose a buddy for a dive that is pushing my personal comfort level I tell them what we are doing, I make sure they are ok with it, I make sure they are ok with the fact that something could go wrong and are they ok with with helping me and are they ok with ME HELPING THEM.

The last is just as important. Not can only your buddy help you but can you help them? If the answer to that is no then why are you doing the dive?