when everyone is saying the strap will come "loose" if you don't wet the strap, does that mean that the strap stretches out and that the buckle is still fastened but the strap is now too big for the tank?
Yes, that's what everyone means. The strap itself stretches just a little when it gets wet, and pre-wetting it prevents that when you tighten the buckle.
I don't know whether different types of straps stretch differently. I have heard that new straps stretch more than old ones.
When shore diving, we always dip our BCs into the water before putting anything together. All it takes is a quick dip.
On boats, we dip our BCs before getting on the boat. You should be assembling your gear pretty soon after boarding, and the straps will still be wet.
Regarding your original question, it's possible that your buckle wasn't fastened all the way. Or, like I said before, it's possible -- I suppose -- that the velcro wasn't fastened well, and you snagged on something that popped open your buckle. Note that if the strap is threaded correctly through the buckle, the strap covers the end of the buckle and protects it from snagging on anything. But a properly-fastened buckle, with the strap tight, is extremely hard to pop open in any case...