How people could possibly not understand me when I talk to them underwater.
OW trainees who think it's a good idea to pay for a dive course and then demonstrate their inability to swim... or in some cases float. Wave goodbye to your money and don't expect to be a full OW anytime soon, we are not swimming instructors.
When DMing and guiding several air dives with the same people in one day and having given a thorough briefing before each individual dive; for them to shake their head when I say UP. Don't look shocked and show me 100 bar... yeah good for you, I have 130 bar at 25m you ass!
You chose to not be nitrox certifed, not to have your own dive computer, and you chose to come on these dives, which are not that deep and have a considerable surface interva between theml.
Get EANx certified, dive nitrox when appropriate, do what I say (sign), otherwise I will surface and you will be bent... and I will be in trouble... maybe, no wait, I have personal liability insurance, you probably don't have dive insurance.
The person that got drunk and jumped off the back of the boat, at night, when it was under way.
Having a guide that swims really really really fast.
When women write articles for dive magazines or newsletters and always mention getting the hunky dive instructor to set up their kit, chipping nail polish and finding perfect waterproof mascara. And on that note; the pilot copy of Dive Girl Magazine that I read years ago at the London Dive Show.
'What your dive instructor says, and what he actually means'
Whoever wrote that article has done male instructors and female trainees a tremendous disservice.
Ok, so not all of these are pet peeves excactly, but they're all things that grind/have ground my gears
Nic