Wet Lawyer Jokes

[H2Andy]

It's not professional courtesy, it is fear! I just divorced an attorney and the sharks turn tell and run.

Hello everyone. I am looking for dive buddies in the Georgia/Florida area. Would love to get the know fello divers in the region. morrisoncla@alltel.net.

Trish M. Morrison

trish, you may want to post in the Introductions section, give folks a chance to say
hello, then post in the Florida Conch Divers' Forum (we're always up to no good).
we also have a singles' forum.

at any rate, welcome aboard.

 

[baltimoron]

I wouldn't be offended if I were you, then again I am not a lawyer, nor am I you. Something deep inside me tell me that you were fully aware that this was going to happen when you signed up for a law degree, now you can either get grouchy about it or you can take it in stride. My grandfather is a lawyer, and he get's a lawyer joke every day by e-mail.

And Andy- you are right. He does have beautiful secretaries, a nice car, good hours, and a REALLY big desk.

BTW- I'm eighteen, so I guess I could be called "in between jobs". But then again, maybe I could be called a local educational consultant and lobbyist for my work with (against) the State and City Boards of Education… Then again, "student" will be good for now. Hit me with your best shot.

 

[rje634]

At a software management conference the speaker posed a question to the attendees: If you were onboard a plane and found out that your software group was responsible for creating the flight control software, how many of you would get off the plane? Slowly hands went up around room until all but one had their hands raised. The speaker noticed the one man sitting calmly with his arms crossed. Curiosity was getting the best of the speaker and he had to ask the man: You would stay onboard?
To which the man replied, Yes, if my group wrote the software I'd be amazed if the plane taxied let alone took off....

Remember, it's a joke take it as such...

 

[morrisoncla]

Speaking from personal experience as a nationally certified paralegal, in the profession for nine years, and having just divorced an attorney...it is one of the hazzards of the profession. My guess from the few posts of his I have seen so far is that he is a litigator, and probably a pretty good one. It's that constant need to be confrontational that makes a good trial lawyer, but makes them hard to have a normal conversation with. My introductions to everyone and hello to lawman. BTW...what type of law do you practice. I am a CLA.

For what it's worth, everyone should bear in mind that Lawman has, to my knowledge, never said anything on this board without tongue firmly in cheek.

Bring on the lawyer jokes.

Yours,

D_O_H, attorney at law

 

[morrisoncla]

I will do that. Thanks for the info. I'm new to forum participation and can use any advise I can get.

trish, you may want to post in the Introductions section, give folks a chance to say
hello, then post in the Florida Conch Divers' Forum (we're always up to no good).
we also have a singles' forum.

at any rate, welcome aboard.

 

[morrisoncla]

Lawyer jokes are great! Everyone needs to have a little humor about who they are and what they do. I'm a blond. There are a lot more, and a lot worse jokes about blonds than could even be thought up about attorneys. I guess the only reason I would take offense to any is if they hit too close to home. The professional courtesy joke is wide-spread in the legal and diving community and has bumper stickers and t-shirts to prove it!

Learn first of all there are several lawyers on this board and they have sharp
tongues when it comes to insults. This is especially true for people that refuse
to list their interests or even their gender.

If you want to be funny, let us know a little bit about youself. Then we can
be funny too.

If not, on behalf of the diving lawyers I invite you to shut the *&%$ up.

 

[mystery]

Personaly, a joke is a joke is a joke. I have red hair-- do you know how many jokes I have heard about red heads?? But thet are not about me-- always calm cool and collected! ~~~~

 

[Firebrand]

Learn first of all there are several lawyers on this board and they have sharp
tongues when it comes to insults. This is especially true for people that refuse
to list their interests or even their gender.

If you want to be funny, let us know a little bit about youself. Then we can
be funny too.

If not, on behalf of the diving lawyers I invite you to shut the *&%$ up.

Check out Lawman's public profile, sounds like the pot calling the kettle black to me!

So, two lawyers are walking down the beach and come across a beautiful young woman, naked, and washed up on the shore and one turns to the other and says, "Shall we screw her?" and the other says, "Out of what!?!"

 

[Hockeynut]

Personaly, a joke is a joke is a joke. I have red hair-- do you know how many jokes I have heard about red heads?? But thet are not about me-- always calm cool and collected! ~~~~

99% of all redheads give the rest a bad name! Nah, it's better with the lawyer.

 

[H2Andy]

personally, i feel anyone who makes a lawyer joke should be slapped with
a wet herring

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