"...we'll laugh at you and you'll look like a dork." - the Split

[Jesster]

PS: This thread is a SoCal thing. If you're from outta town and got something to add, don't come in soft. Bring it. Own it. If you got it, show us.. it it's solid, I'll friggen cheer. BUT - if you're wave isn't gonna curl, but just gonna hit the sand all flacid and weak, its better to just watch the fun. Honestly. Watching the fun is OK. Cuz if you come in limp, we're all gonna laugh at you and you'll look like a dork.

Read the rules noob, Bring it strong or stay on the porch. , Aloha!

 

[Mauifish]

Read the rules noob, Bring it strong or stay on the porch. , Aloha!

I lived in So Cal many years ago, before most of you dweebs were born, in fact Glycerin could pass for my illegit son, laugh at that:14:

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

Hey you, Mr. “I’m the Greatest Instructor Who Ever Lived” … yeah, you. So what if you’ve certified over 6,000 divers. You forgot to introduce them to the concept of neutral buoyancy … probably because you never learned it yourself, Mr. TurboTiller. I’ve seen dredging equipment that moves less muck than you do. You’re convinced you know everything there is to know about diving, despite the fact that you’ve refused to learn anything new or try anything new since about 1969. You proudly proclaim that you’ve got over 10,000 logged dives, but the last 9,900 of them are Open Water certification dives where you’ve spent your bottom time parked on your knees. The sad fact is, Mr. Dinosaur, that most of your former students have since gone on to become better divers than you … and they laugh at you and think you look like a dork.

And you, Mr. “I Use Only The Best Equipment” … get a clue. Equipment does not a diver make. Skills can’t be bought … they can only be earned with practice. Face it, you don’t have the chops … you KNOW you don’t have the chops … and those little blue H’s all over your gear are nothing more than compensation. You should buy a wing with “Wannabe” embroidered on the side. Put down the credit card and work on your skills, or we’ll laugh at you and you’ll look like a dork.

And as for you, Mr. “I’ve Been Diving Since 1964” … yeah, sure you have. And you’ve still got less than 100 dives to show for it. Regale us again with stories of how tough your training was … how you had to do 500 pushups wearing a full scuba rig. The fact is that today you couldn’t do one pushup … because you’d be rolling around on your gut before you managed to bend your elbows. We don’t care that your dive buddy was some French fellow named Cousteau … or that “back in the day” people didn’t need all this fancy equipment and trimix classes to dive to 200 feet. Just shut up and dive … or we’ll laugh at you and you’ll look like a dork.

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[TSandM]

If you dive doubles and can't perform a valve drill(unless it's your first few times, hell we'll probably laugh anyway) were all going to laugh and you'll look like a dork.

Hey -- I resemble that remark!

 

[LAJim]

If you think the Ideal Gas Law was President Bush's most important legislative accomplishment (as he may well) then we're all going to laugh and you'll look like a dork.

If I take the chemistry even one step further then I'll look like a dork. But I won't - so there - DORK!

 

[ScubaMilo]

Man, this thread is the greatest!!
I can't stop laughing.

Milo

 

[Mo2vation]

Hey you, Mr. “I’m the Greatest Instructor Who Ever Lived” … yeah, you. So what if you’ve certified over 6,000 divers. You forgot to introduce them to the concept of neutral buoyancy … probably because you never learned it yourself, Mr. TurboTiller. I’ve seen dredging equipment that moves less muck than you do. You’re convinced you know everything there is to know about diving, despite the fact that you’ve refused to learn anything new or try anything new since about 1969. You proudly proclaim that you’ve got over 10,000 logged dives, but the last 9,900 of them are Open Water certification dives where you’ve spent your bottom time parked on your knees. The sad fact is, Mr. Dinosaur, that most of your former students have since gone on to become better divers than you … and they laugh at you and think you look like a dork.

And you, Mr. “I Use Only The Best Equipment” … get a clue. Equipment does not a diver make. Skills can’t be bought … they can only be earned with practice. Face it, you don’t have the chops … you KNOW you don’t have the chops … and those little blue H’s all over your gear are nothing more than compensation. You should buy a wing with “Wannabe” embroidered on the side. Put down the credit card and work on your skills, or we’ll laugh at you and you’ll look like a dork.

And as for you, Mr. “I’ve Been Diving Since 1964” … yeah, sure you have. And you’ve still got less than 100 dives to show for it. Regale us again with stories of how tough your training was … how you had to do 500 pushups wearing a full scuba rig. The fact is that today you couldn’t do one pushup … because you’d be rolling around on your gut before you managed to bend your elbows. We don’t care that your dive buddy was some French fellow named Cousteau … or that “back in the day” people didn’t need all this fancy equipment and trimix classes to dive to 200 feet. Just shut up and dive … or we’ll laugh at you and you’ll look like a dork.

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

I have a bunch queued up, and the "certified since '64" was one of them (but mine was gonna be "mr 70's cert"... Nice one, Bob. So friggen true.

Good thing I have another 20 in the pocket, you thief.

---
Ken

 

[undrwater]

Hey Dork!

What do you mean you don't want a DM escort? What do you mean that you don't mind being a poster boy for Victory at Sea? What do you mean it's not that cold? What do you mean you don't mind low to no visibility? What's that strange gear configuration?

OH! Nevermind...you're a SoCal diver...

 

[grazie42]

Thanks for the welcome...this is closer to how you speak in swedish...less sugarcoating Doing one before you sign off is a good idea Mo2vation, here´s my "good night":

Hello Mr. Expert/technical/deep/DIR-diver guy. Did anyone ask you for a lecture on whatever it is you think you do that makes you special? If you were that interesting people would be paying to listen to you, if people are, why are you giving away freebies? If whatever you do can´t be explained to an OW-diver with 15 dives on the way out to a divesite it is either to complicated to be comprehended by mere "mortals" or, more likely, you don´t know what the ***** you´re talking about either...Whatever...we´ll still laugh at you and call you a dork

 

[Robert Phillips]

I lived in So Cal many years ago, before most of you dweebs were born, in fact Glycerin could pass for my illegit son, laugh at that:14:

Wow! Very impressive.
And this information brings what, exactly, to this thread.
Remember, no animosity, just good natured fun. Do you want us all to laugh at you because you look like a dork?