"...we'll laugh at you and you'll look like a dork." - the Split

[Skull]

Lets call a spade a spade ...if you look at a cattle boat full of divers ...they all look like dorks. Go to a beach site and see them all fawning over their gear ...they look like dorks . Look at the knuckle draggers coming out of any LDS ...dorks....strike up a conversation with anybody who has breathed compressed gas for more than 2 hours ..dork. Such a dork sometimes I marvel at how they miss the fact that they are seriously are not right in the head.

Fact is if you spend more than 10min a week on this board everybody in your family thinks you're a dork ...and is probably not laughing but is out looking for a a real relationship with anybody other than the one staring at the screen ...

So that being said ...excuse me while I rinse off my gear in the front yard with my board shorts, reef sandles and tank top on while flushing my OB motor and nuerotically cleaning the shinny end of my regulator. All the while debriefing my neighbor on the latest incursion into the deep, displaying my prowess to all the passing neighbors ...dig this !!! Dork ...is that dig this ...dorks....hmmmm!

 

[divinman]

Terry, did you see this post:


Unwad them panties and lets go diving. I'll promise not to laugh until we're underwater. Even at your mis-matched doubles!

No wad here! Commando all the way :mooner:

Lovin this thread. Maternal twins are just as good a paternal ones in my book.

 

[stoddu]

Hey you Mr. Tech Diver, with your steel doubles, slung aluminum 80 stage bottles and canister light looking like you're ready to do deco on the Doria, what are you doing at Shaw's cove - you look like a Dork!

 

[divinman]

Hey You, Mr. UNDERWATER PHOTOGRAPHER, yeah you know I am talking to you. HEY, photo guy, your buddies are BORED. You may like hangin there takin the same picture of something they can't even see but look around. See the slack jawed expressions and the blue lips? It's cold, its boring, move on!
Listen up Norbert, with your $10K worth of camera equipment and strobes that blind the rest of your TEAM every time you fire them off. Which you seem to do again and again and again until that poor FEDEX has permanent retinal damage just so you can get the “perfect shot” yeahhhhhhh. If by perfect you mean so photoshopped it no longer even resembles what might appear in a very bad acid trip. That’s right, learn some photography skills. There is more to it than taking 1000 pictures per dive and then cropping and changing colors. Learn some composition skill. Speaking of that! How about you leave poor Johnnie octo alone. He does not want to “climb up on your hand and sit for a photo” He didn’t hop on, you dragged him out of his warm little home and he was so stressed he just laid there. And how about just taking pictures of what’s actually there. Yeah, I’m talking to you nudi-collector. I see you swimming around the reef collecting ‘branchs and posing them together. If you want to put a bunch of slugs together and take pictures, go to a Scubaboard picnic. Other wise we will laugh at you and you’ll look like a dork.

 

[vetdiver]

I've been conjuring up smart-*** remarks to put on this thread, but something has occurred to me.... I have:

An alarm that is permaset at 4:30 (if I'm not diving, I'm at the gym trying to improve my sac rate).
A car that smells like a wet dog.
Installed a hook on my office wall to hang up gear to dry.
A suntan that ends where my neck/wrist seals begin.
Cut off 10 inches of hair to make it easier to get in/out of my drysuit.
Not been able to make it through a six-pack in my fridge over the last 2 months because I am almost always diving the next day.
A relative inability to speak to anyone who doesn't like water and total intolerance for the question, "Aren't you afraid of sharks?"

Add that to my console (neatly clipped, but console nonetheless), the blue H's on my harness, and the fact that I am too lazy to remove the stickers form my tanks, and even though I haul my own gear, it is official.

I am a huge dork - and proud of it!!

(most hilarious thread ever...)

 

[ChickOfTheSea]

I've been conjuring up smart-*** remarks to put on this thread, but something has occurred to me.... I have:

An alarm that is permaset at 4:30 (if I'm not diving, I'm at the gym trying to improve my sac rate).
A car that smells like a wet dog.
Installed a hook on my office wall to hang up gear to dry.
A suntan that ends where my neck/wrist seals begin.
Cut off 10 inches of hair to make it easier to get in/out of my drysuit.
Not been able to make it through a six-pack in my fridge over the last 2 months because I am almost always diving the next day.
A relative inability to speak to anyone who doesn't like water and total intolerance for the question, "Aren't you afraid of sharks?"

Add that to my console (neatly clipped, but console nonetheless), the blue H's on my harness, and the fact that I am too lazy to remove the stickers form my tanks, and even though I haul my own gear, it is official.

I am a huge dork - and proud of it!!

(most hilarious thread ever...)

You go girl! Just as long as you got the skillz you a'ight And we KNOW you have that

Sooo what about a diver that has the blue smurf gloves but once she gets on her suit, she practicallly has to have someone dress her... Straighten and pull all the hair out of her neck seal? Is that dorky or just kinky?

 

[PacketSniffer]

Yes, you there Mr. California Surfer God turned expert in all things related to diving via the PADI Drive-Thru. With your ratty long blonde hair flappin' in the breeze and Erik Estrada shades, you're a reject from the 70s. "Duuude", stop braggin' about how you get your "exclusive tan" from a special, high priced, flax seed riddled, ginger root flakin', botanical gardens smellin', avacado oil. No one cares ding-a-ling. For once in your life, teach the students how NOT to bust up the reef like a overweighted hippo doin' the two step. Boy Wonder: Buy some snap bolts and clip that crap off. You look like a freakin' Christmas tree down there. And while you're at it Johhny Bravo, you might want to improve your own SAC rate so you don't come up BEFORE your students. Don't bother telling me about your "thousandth dive". The only thing I'll be able to think about is the helpless reef you molested in the process. If you keep churrnin' out overweighted, high SAC rate ridden, fin flyin', dartin' here and there, danglin' crap eveywhere, scuba divers, we're going to laugh at you and you'll look like a dork.

 

[ChickOfTheSea]

I'm not sure if we covered this one yet but if we did too bad, it's funny...

What about Mr. and Mrs. vacation divers that swim past you doing their pattented 'riding my bike underwater' swim technique, kicking up sand as they go by, silting out all of your pictures. To these underwater Lance Armstrongs... no I don't like it when without hesitation or consideration you swim up behind me and grab my shoulder to try to see what I'm taking a picture of... You probably have no clue what it is I'm taking a picture of anyhow so relax and back off...

Then we can laugh at you and you look like a dork... :10:

 

[orangelion03]

If I may paraphrase Firesign Theater...

We're all dorks on this boat.

Squeeze the wheeze...

Laugh at me all you want beeches! :geek:

 

[Ann Marie]

Hey Mr. I-buy-my-gear-at-garage-sales: If there are cars parked in the driveway, most likely the person rinsing out their SCUBA gear has been diving! They are not having a garage sale!! H-e-l-l-o, cars in the driveway!! So get back in your truck, and head to a house that has crap spread around the driveway—or I’ll roll my eyes and laugh at you ‘cause you are a dork!