Hey there everyone,
Thank you all so very much for the replies, I did not expect to have so many people diving into this with me. I really appreciate that you all care so much, that feels like a whole lot of support, advice and ideas from divers. It is really super helpful. Thanks!!
I have read through everything but cannot reply to each and every one. But I would like to write down a couple of things.
First of all.
I appreciate my instructor and she is not a bad instructor. There are many things that the instructor does really very well. It feels like a person that has quite advanced technical skills. Very aware of what I am doing with my gear, etc. Notices many small things when it comes to technically doing everything right. So I honestly feel it is not a bad instructor (for the ones that are worried about that).
I think, that it might be possible that some instructors are more aware of the psychological component than others. Some might be aware that doing the techniques ok, does not necessarily mean that the person is also at ease. And some might not consciously hear it, when a student says he/she is scared, because other students might be more vocal and loud in their descriptions than others.
When it comes to solving fears.
I think that being able to address the specific fears, with some conversation about these things, would help. (which is what you are all doing here, so thank you)
So, not only a reply that says 'you did well', but a reply that helps to solve the thing that made someone afraid. It is kind to say that a student did well, it boosts some confidence. But addressing the fear would be very helpful.
For example, I said to her that taking the mask off for 30 seconds made me afraid, because bubbles kept hitting my eyes and nose, making me unable to see. And also the bubbles against my nose frightend me, I think now that it caused an instinctive reflex in my brain or something.. my brain probably registered the nose sensations as being underwater and drowning. If that makes sense.
I had to repeat to myself internally that I could actually breathe through the regulator, even though the nose felt like I could not.
It was all ok, I managed to do it well, and this was her reply to my story. 'You did well'.
But more helpful, would have been a suggestion to ease the bubble problem
I came up with it later together with my partner, I could just change the angle of my head.. so simple.
But in my state of fear I did not come up with that.
I also told her that my fear caused me to forget which button on the inflator was for up and which one for down. Which is very absurd because I know that I really know that.
The fact that I forgot, worried me. Because that is what the fear does. I said this to the instructor because I thought that it would make the instructor know that I was really afraid. But that did not happen.
I definitely have to become more vocal, and do see my flaw there.
But also think that the instructor could be slightly more receptive. Maybe.
So to make a very long story short. (sorry for that)
It is a good instructor, but maybe some more conversation about everything that feels scary or uneasy, would be helpful.
My partner helps me with this currently.
We address the things that feel like 'having no control' which helps.
I made myself write everything down and noticed for example that I am afraid of becoming too cold, because it makes it harder to think clearly.
For some reason I get super cold, even though it is an indoor pool, and even though I have a skin and an extra vest on. Maybe my body has some difficulties with keeping warm.
So I will look into finding something that is warmer.
Another worry that is hiding in my brain is about a reversed block. I experienced one three years ago, it did not take long but it gives a scary feeling because you cannot go up, and going up hurts.
The feeling of being out of control when it comes to this one, is caused by the knowing that both 'up' and 'down' can hurt. So pressing the inflator buttons, no matter which way, makes me nervous.
Because either way can hurt.
So I tend to, press them too carefully. And I tend to go slower than necessary. Trying to control the buoyancy a bit too much. This maybe explains why I might 'look' good, because I am not pressing the buttons too long and too much. And I am a bit obsessed about getting myself to float steadily.
I can imagine that an instructor would consider that a good thing, but the actual reason for it is rooted in a fear.
Anyway, I am trying to address these fears and creating solutions for them. I am trying to learn about reversed blocks and which 'warmer' suit I might need.
Maybe you guys have ideas and advice about that.
A couple of questions:
- Does anyone experience reversed blocks? And if yes, what helps you the most.
- For the people that feel cold easily. Which suit do you like to wear in tropical waters? and in 27 celcius swimming pools?
(we will be on vacation in some months, to the Caribbean, and from experience, I know that I get cold when I snorkel with my 2.5 mm skin shorty).
If I solve 'being too cold', I think I will think more clearly. I am kind of tiny/small, so I guess that is why I get cold.
Would you get a 3 mm or a 5 mm neoprene suit?
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Edit:
I feel like trying the next lessons despite the fear.
I do want to learn how to dive, I love the ocean and the beauty underwater. I am a good enough swimmer and really enjoyed swimming in the ocean all my life. I think I should be able to do it if I can find my way through the fears. I would like to try.
And my partner can help me.
Talking about it here with you guys, is helpfull. It made me feel a little less silly, and a bit more in control.
I got my uncle into diving, he had a VERY shaky startā¦it was all mentalā¦he worked with a couple different instructors from the same shop. One was able to explain things better and cater to his specific needs, and he passed his OW course. What would have happened if people just told him to quit because the first couple of pool sessions he was nervous and couldnāt do some of the skills?
