The SCUBA Police and the Vintage Diver

[A34735]

I'm astonished, what a total ******. To your credit, you remained calm and polite. I'd probably ended up hitting the drip...

 

[ROMO DIVER]

I compliment you on your handling of this unfortunately self-rightous jerk. It is one thing to hear comments like this from a brain washed new diver or student but a so-called instructor should know better. I have a similar situation happen to me all the time. I take students to Vortex Springs regularly and anyone that dives there has seen Eduardo and his set-up which sounds very similar to yours. However, he is heading deep into the cave to suction sand. My students always ask me how he can dive like this and I enjoy taking a few minutes to explain his gear and laud his abilities. I use this as a teaching session about scuba history and diving ones comfort level and ability. I would not have him dive any other way.

 

[AfterDark]

I not sure which I enjoyed more the real story or the fabricated from the A*****'s point of view. I think I might have pushed or pulled him into the water. I'm a grumpy old coot.

 

[oldmossback]

Hair????????????? Vas ist das???

 

[Nemrod]

The goof ball probably wrote a letter to PadI and complained. N

 

[Slonda828]

What a jerk. I bet he learned everything he knows right here. After all, we all know that old crap will kill you.

 

[*dave*]

Sounds like a vintage diver's wet dream.

I guess it was bound to happen sooner or later. I ran into the SCUBA Police this morning. My wife, my two sons and I went over to Grayson Lake in Kentucky. I took my 72, my Aquamaster, fins, (classic oval) mask, snorkel, capillary depth gauge and weight belt and we rented a pontoon boat for the day. We cruised around the lake for a while, then anchored in a little cove. After sticking up my dive flag, I put on my gear and dropped over the side with a can of Cheez-Whiz in my fist. The water was only about 20 feet deep and I settled to the bottom on my knees. I squirted a bit of cheez-Whiz and, in a few seconds, a crappie came along to gobble it up. In no time, I was surrounded by a cloud of fish of all species and sizes. My sons snorkeled on the surface and occasionally dropped down to say "Hi."

I heard another boat pull into the cove but I paid it no mind.

I stayed down until my J valve started honking at me. I reached back to pull the rod down and headed back to the boat. At the surface, I found another pontoon boat anchored next to mine. There was a dive flag flying from the awning and there were about a half dozen young people on board dressed in wet suits and just about every diving gadget and googaw you can imagine. One of them turned to look at me as I tread water wearing only tank, Aquamaster, weight belt, depth gauge, watch and snorkel gear. He looked as if he'd just seen the Loch Ness Monster itself. I popped my mask onto my forehead and shot him a cheerful "Hi!" I then climbed out of the water and onto my boat.

"Where is the rest of your gear?" he asked.

I shrugged and said "This is it. It's all I need."

He looked at he water and asked me where my dive buddy was. I patted the mouthpiece of my trusty Aquamaster and said "Right here." At this, he began to lecture me on my unsafe dive practices and told me I was in violation of safe diving rules. Unsafe antique regulator, no BC, no SPG, no computer, blah blah blah... I just shrugged again and waved him off. My son helped me out of my harness, then I took off the rest of my stuff.

Mister SCUBA Police then demanded that I hand over my C-card. I said "What?" He again demanded that I hand over my C-card.

"What for?" I asked.

"I'm yanking your certification. I'll send your card in to have it canceled for safety violations."

I just stared at him. "By whose authority?"

"Mine," he shot back. "I'm the instructor at #$*&^# Dive Shop."

I was starting to get a mite testy by this time. "That doesn't mean **** to me. You don't have the authority to pull anybody's card."

He leaned over the rail of his boat and glared at me. "Give me your ******* card!"

I laughed and said "I don't have one!"

He turned three shades of purple and gasped for air. "But...but... that's illegal! You can't dive like that!?

I smiled. "I just did."

"I'm gonna call the cops!"

I kept smiling at him. "Go right ahead. They could probably use a good laugh!" My son hauled in the anchor while I started the motor. We cruised slowly away, waving cheerfully at our new friends. We spent a couple of hours fishing at another cove before heading back to the dock.

I could have probably handled the situation with a bit more tact, but the kid got under my skin.

 

[Matt S.]

I'm not interested in vintage diving, but I am always interested in a story about someone making a fool of themselves. That was awesome.

 

[Nemrod]

Sounds like a vintage diver's wet dream.

Diving dry is difficult vintage.

N

 

[Thalassamania]

Diving dry is difficult vintage.

N

Aquilla or Viking ... no problem.