The pirate jokes do get old when you have an eye patch.
I walked out of my dentist's office a few weeks ago to hear some guy in a truck make the "Arrrgh!" remark. His window was rolled down, and I almost walked over and just punched him in the face.
The only reason I have to live is because of my cat. No wife. No kids. Don't really have any dreams anymore. I don't even dream at night or daydream. So other than the cat there isn't much to keep me from turning even a small annoying remark into a life sentence in federal prison, or punching the wrong guy and getting shot. Basically, I don't care.
Remembering the cat is usually enough to slow down the first impulse that enters my head. That day, I also remembered that assault charges will keep me out of Canada, so I just walked past as my brain processed all of the above.
But when I looked back at his truck, lo and behold, there was a red & white North American dive flag decal on the window of his cap. Of course, he was a diver! Only divers can so obnoxious.
I walked back to his truck and popped my face into his window. "You're a diver," I stated.
He recoiled in his seat, startled. That gave me a sense of satisfaction, to be honest.
His face showed a little bit of fear, but when he realized I was just talking he relaxed. "Yeah... yeah..." he stammered, "Well, not really, I mean I used to dive. I was on a dive rescue team, but not anymore."
I told him the eye was the result of DCS and told him the story of how that happened. We were talking diving when his wife came out of a store and was annoyed that he wasn't ready to just chauffer her on command because he was talking diving.
The only thing worse than a diver is the wife of a diver.
I walked out of my dentist's office a few weeks ago to hear some guy in a truck make the "Arrrgh!" remark. His window was rolled down, and I almost walked over and just punched him in the face.
The only reason I have to live is because of my cat. No wife. No kids. Don't really have any dreams anymore. I don't even dream at night or daydream. So other than the cat there isn't much to keep me from turning even a small annoying remark into a life sentence in federal prison, or punching the wrong guy and getting shot. Basically, I don't care.
Remembering the cat is usually enough to slow down the first impulse that enters my head. That day, I also remembered that assault charges will keep me out of Canada, so I just walked past as my brain processed all of the above.
But when I looked back at his truck, lo and behold, there was a red & white North American dive flag decal on the window of his cap. Of course, he was a diver! Only divers can so obnoxious.
I walked back to his truck and popped my face into his window. "You're a diver," I stated.
He recoiled in his seat, startled. That gave me a sense of satisfaction, to be honest.
His face showed a little bit of fear, but when he realized I was just talking he relaxed. "Yeah... yeah..." he stammered, "Well, not really, I mean I used to dive. I was on a dive rescue team, but not anymore."
I told him the eye was the result of DCS and told him the story of how that happened. We were talking diving when his wife came out of a store and was annoyed that he wasn't ready to just chauffer her on command because he was talking diving.
The only thing worse than a diver is the wife of a diver.
Speaking of awesome cats….
