**Split Fins – Let the Bashing Begin!**

[300bar]

When my buddy and I were diving the U-869 on air with John Chatterton and Richie Kohler last year, my buddy's split fins silted the place up so bad that I couldn't find my Spare-Air. I got so nervous I mistakenly hit the "up elevator" lever on my SeaQuest i-3 BCD. Ordinarily, this would have sent me shooting to the surface, but fortunately some monofilament got tangled around my Air-2. When I cut the line with the 11" knife strapped to my calf, I mistakenly poked the purge valve in my HydrOptix mask. I tried to use my tank banger to get my buddy's attention, but by that time he had gotten one of his suicide clips tangled up in the retractor I use to attach my dry snorkle to the transmitter of my air-integrated wireless compass, which I bought on-line instead of at the LDS that I stopped supporting ever since I signed up for e-learning. I believe that was right about the time I had the regs I bought at Leisure Pro serviced at the local Jiffy-Lube but didn’t actually test them myself before going on a special “Storm Tracker” live-aboard trip that I signed up for because in addition to free nitrox they were offering a special "take Fish ID, get your IDC free" promotion. Unfortunately I missed that trip because of the systemic fungal infection I contracted when the Halcyon p-valve I installed myself in my cave-cut trilam dry suit failed while I was solo-diving for golf balls without a scooter. Which I only did for the money, ever since the captain of the boat I DM on started making me tip the passengers $10/tank on every charter that I work.

I'm writing a book about it...

Shallow Divers: The true story of two Americans who risked everything to solve the mystery of every "you're gonna die" cliche on ScubaBoard

Ironically, it seems that Gary Gentile is now claiming that I actually did not experience EVERY cliche myself, based on a series of interviews with the girlfriend of the brother of a guy I shared a room with on Spring Break in 1987 and is now threatening to expose the REAL story of how all the trouble started when Papa Bear kept radioing the Coast Guard to ask whether he could log pool dives as "real dives".

I will happily refute Gary's assertions in an on-line interview on ScubaBoard, wherein I will respond to any and all questions with "get a BP/W" while wearing my mask on my forehead.

PS - it's not the agency, it's the instructor!

Oh My GOD,

He uses a tankbanger :no

Get to your LDS ASAP and buy a $150 scubahorn

 

[300bar]

Something is wrong with us then,has to be. Splits suck for froggies.

OR.... We are VERY good divers

Gee did I just wrote that

 

[Tigerman]

OMG!
RJP, all I can say is "when is your book coming?"
Thatll keep me awake for another hour, lol.. (its 3:45 am here)

 

[shellbackdiver1]

RJP,
Your last post is seriously funny....
thanks

 

[GotNoOcean]

I've owned my pair of ATOMIC split fins for 4 years and wouldn't dive with anything else. They are great in the pool or open water.

That's all I got to say about that.

What's the half-life of Atomic fins? If you own them for six half-lives, do they just sorta disappear?

 

[Teamcasa]

RJP...

Posts like that will not be tolerated..... They are just to funny!!

 

[TSandM]

RJP, that gets my vote for the "best post EVER on Scubaboard" award!

 

[FishNut]

I'll stick to splits I love them

 

[Diver Dennis]

Finally!!!!! The truth is out!

Great post, the quintessential SB experience...

You forgot the part about the $800 fins.

When my buddy and I were diving the U-869 on air with John Chatterton and Richie Kohler last year, my buddy's split fins silted the place up so bad that I couldn't find my Spare-Air. I got so nervous I mistakenly hit the "up elevator" lever on my SeaQuest i-3 BCD. Ordinarily, this would have sent me shooting to the surface, but fortunately some monofilament got tangled around my Air-2. When I cut the line with the 11" knife strapped to my calf, I mistakenly poked the purge valve in my HydrOptix mask. I tried to use my tank banger to get my buddy's attention, but by that time he had gotten one of his suicide clips tangled up in the retractor I use to attach my dry snorkle to the transmitter of my air-integrated wireless compass, which I bought on-line instead of at the LDS that I stopped supporting ever since I signed up for e-learning. I believe that was right about the time I had the regs I bought at Leisure Pro serviced at the local Jiffy-Lube but didn’t actually test them myself before going on a special “Storm Tracker” live-aboard trip that I signed up for because in addition to free nitrox they were offering a special "take Fish ID, get your IDC free" promotion. Unfortunately I missed that trip because of the systemic fungal infection I contracted when the Halcyon p-valve I installed myself in my cave-cut trilam dry suit failed while I was solo-diving for golf balls without a scooter. Which I only did for the money, ever since the captain of the boat I DM on started making me tip the passengers $10/tank on every charter that I work.

I'm writing a book about it...

Shallow Divers: The true story of two Americans who risked everything to solve the mystery of every "you're gonna die" cliche on ScubaBoard

Ironically, it seems that Gary Gentile is now claiming that I actually did not experience EVERY cliche myself, based on a series of interviews with the girlfriend of the brother of a guy I shared a room with on Spring Break in 1987 and is now threatening to expose the REAL story of how all the trouble started when Papa Bear kept radioing the Coast Guard to ask whether he could log pool dives as "real dives".

I will happily refute Gary's assertions in an on-line interview on ScubaBoard, wherein I will respond to any and all questions with "get a BP/W" while wearing my mask on my forehead.

PS - it's not the agency, it's the instructor!

 

[redrover]

Nope... you pretty much covered it.

BTW, the reason they're the best selling fin is because dive shops push them because they have a better profit margin. If you markup is based on a percentage, the more something costs, the more you profit. For example: If your mark up is 50%, a $50 fin will generate $25 in profit while a $150 fin makes $75. The dive shop couldn't care less if they work better or not. In fact, the constant debate allows them to continue to claim that SOME divers prefer them.

Ok, can we add a hyjack along that line? I was just in a dive shop today looking at a specific fin that happened to have a slit running down the center.
And pretty much bought them against the will of the OWNER doing his best to convince me I didn’t want to.

I’d looked online and couldn’t find any store with them in stock and the manufacturer wouldn’t sell them to me in Hawaii. I took a chance to see if one LDS (not mine) might just happen to carry them.
I walked in knowing what I wanted. Goody goody, there was one pair, one pair, one size, and it took me 45 min to get him to let me walk out with them.

I have to say, he was real nice about clearly thinking I was an idiot. He even did some looking around to see if he could find anyone with what he was sure I wanted to let me borrow and dive test.

And I got the locals discount; can I start the war between LDS and Online here too?:blinking: