How to tell if you're in Wisconsin
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
"Vacation" means going to Crivitz for the weekend.
You measure distance in hours.
You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again!
You use a down comforter in the summer -- and gloves.
You drive at 65 mph through 13 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You think of the major food groups as deer meat, beer, fish, and berries. What about the Cheese??
You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at the Fleet Farm at any given time.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pajamas.
You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
It takes you 3 hours to go to the store for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town.
You buy your Christmas presents at Fleet Farm.
You've never met any celebrities.
Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
You can gauge the depth of your relationship by the number of fingers your friends use to wave to you as you pass by on the road.
"Vacation" means playing miniature golf at the Dells.
You've seen all the biggest bands 10 years after they were popular.
The corner bar is decorated with neon Pabst signs instead of hanging ferns.
Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
You ask for a "bubbler" when you're thirsty.
You "borrow" your neighbor your snowblower and hope he returns it before the next storm. (And you don't know why there are quotation marks around the word "borrow" in that sentence.)
You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
A clean bowling shirt is appropriate attire for a wedding.
You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. (Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to town, I wanna go with.")
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain or animal.
You think of the major four food groups as cheese, beer, brats and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.
You own just three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page, but requires six pages for sports.
You think that opening day of deer season is a national holiday.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
You find -20 degrees F "a little chilly."
You know that, no matter what, the Bears still suck.
You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Wisconsin friends.
Your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
"Vacation" means going to Crivitz for the weekend.
You measure distance in hours.
You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day and back again!
You use a down comforter in the summer -- and gloves.
You drive at 65 mph through 13 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
You install security lights on your house and garage and leave both unlocked.
You think of the major food groups as deer meat, beer, fish, and berries. What about the Cheese??
You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
There are 7 empty cars running in the parking lot at the Fleet Farm at any given time.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pajamas.
You know all 4 seasons: almost winter, winter, still winter and road construction.
It takes you 3 hours to go to the store for one item even when you're in a rush because you have to stop and talk to everyone in town.
You buy your Christmas presents at Fleet Farm.
You've never met any celebrities.
Your idea of a traffic jam is 10 cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
You can gauge the depth of your relationship by the number of fingers your friends use to wave to you as you pass by on the road.
"Vacation" means playing miniature golf at the Dells.
You've seen all the biggest bands 10 years after they were popular.
The corner bar is decorated with neon Pabst signs instead of hanging ferns.
Your school classes were canceled because of cold.
Your school classes were canceled because of heat.
You've ridden the school bus for an hour each way.
You think ethanol makes your truck "run a lot better."
You know what's knee-high by the Fourth of July.
Stores don't have bags; they have sacks.
You ask for a "bubbler" when you're thirsty.
You "borrow" your neighbor your snowblower and hope he returns it before the next storm. (And you don't know why there are quotation marks around the word "borrow" in that sentence.)
You see people wear bib overalls at funerals.
A clean bowling shirt is appropriate attire for a wedding.
You see a car running in the parking lot at the store with no one in it, no matter what time of the year.
You end your sentences with an unnecessary preposition. (Example: "Where's my coat at?" or "If you go to town, I wanna go with.")
All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain or animal.
You think of the major four food groups as cheese, beer, brats and Jell-O salad with marshmallows.
You know what "cow tipping" and "snipe hunting" are.
You own just three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.
You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
You think everyone from a bigger city has an accent.
The local paper covers national and international headlines on one page, but requires six pages for sports.
You think that opening day of deer season is a national holiday.
You know which leaves make good toilet paper.
You find -20 degrees F "a little chilly."
You know that, no matter what, the Bears still suck.
You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Wisconsin friends.
