Silly things heard on dive trips

[shurite7]

A friend of mine told me one day while he was setting up his equipment he noticed an individual following every step. My friend decided to conduct a test, he spit in his fins, smeared the saliva around and set them down. The individual did the same.

That prompted one question from my friend, are you certified? The reply was no, just thought I would follow along.

Cheers

Chris

 

[PlayaCountryBoy]

A friend of mine told me one day while he was setting up his equipment he noticed an individual following every step. My friend decided to conduct a test, he spit in his fins, smeared the saliva around and set them down. The individual did the same.

That prompted one question from my friend, are you certified? The reply was no, just thought I would follow along.

Cheers

Chris

Thanks Chris! Thanks, I have broken a rib laughing at this!

 

[Shark Bate]

on a boat dive in the Bahamas we had a guy on the trip that we all had worries about because the day before he spent a full 15 minutes trying to put his leg through the arm hole of his wet suit - nobody wanted to help him because he was the overly boastfull, know-it-all type; everyone onboard just kinda nudged each other and giggled ...... so the next day on the boat he poured at least half the little bottle of mask defog in his mask - when he came up after the dive we could see bubbles in his mask from all the defog he poured in - it looked like the inside of a washing machine, and his eyes were beet red - he was cussing and making a big stink about the lousy dive, so I had to ask him why he thought it was such a bad dive - he replied: "the visibility was the worst I have ever experienced" !!

I think later in the week the dive opperation finaly figured out that he was not safe and kindly suggested that he not continue diving with the group.

 

[Matt S.]

I feel your pain.

As an OW diver, I said "I will never EVER go into an overhead environment."

Me too. Then, I did cenotes in vacation.

I've stuck to the rest of my "never evers" though. I still have no interest in tech/deco/penetration diving.

 

[Belmont]

Actually, in retrospect, one of the funniest things I ever heard a diver say was the one in my Fundies class who said, "I have no interest in technical diving -- I just want to be the best recreational diver I can be."

It was me . . .

Now, wait a minute...

I have been telling myself that since OW.
I took deep diver his summer plus Nitrox.
Those last two formations with a DIR instructor but not under GUE.
Anyhow, the curiculum being pretty much similar: buoyancy, equipment standardisation, buddy and environment awareness, gaz management etc...the works.
Now I'm getting fitted up for a dry suit and next summer I should start diving double 130's. Then...maybe advanced Nitrox and ...deco...and :11:.

Like you I guess I've gotten the tip of my fin caught in the wringer...

It was me also...

Oh, also I heard a lady on an early dive in the carribean say that she prefers wearing a t-shirt on top of her swimsuit because it keeps her warm

 

[rhadamantus]

:laughing: scared you, uh?

After a half dozen dives with this one buddy we are getting ready to splash in ten minutes or so. He casually turns to me after the boat-wide conversation on past non-diving related injuries and says, "Yeah, I actually have sleep apnea and narcolepsy that I have to take medication for." It took a moment for me to process this new data.

"So you fall asleep with no warning and then stop breathing?"

That might be a disqualifier for SCUBA as a recreation, I don't know.

 

[sambolino44]

Not on a dive boat, and actually from a non-diver, but still pretty dumb (not to mention gross):

"So with all the pressure and everything, can you squeeze one off down there?"

 

[1_T_Submariner]

ok, its ewwhhhh and i get the brown water seeping out bit :l:

but whats a "peel"?

Peel = Help off with a wetsuit. And I would have had to respond NO!!:no

 

[Bobyjimmie]

I was helping divers onto the boat. The last man in passes up his fins and as he steps up this odd smell hits me and I see the brown water seeping out from the bottom of his suit. He says, "I thought I just had to fart. May I have a peel?"

Um...ack!

 

[F106A]

While longingly looking at my bugs (and he having none), this guys said, "Can I have a couple of those?" Sorta off topic: Actually responding to my "Let me know if you didn't get this email."
Another sorta OT: Re surfing: "I don't need any wax; the bottom is slippery enough."