To address some of your issues (Sanctuary is a 6 pack I dive on & would be a good alternative choice for this bunch. I've dove on Sea Hunter as well, mostly the same things apply to both boats):
1. If you're late you miss the tide not the boat - with these boats, they're a bit more flexible than a big cattle boat & will wait on divers for a reasonable amt of time.
5. Shore divers can get out of the sun - Sea Hunter and Sanctuary have cabins & awnings over the dive deck, plenty of "not in the sun" on these 6 packs.
6. No DM telling you what to do, as a shore diver I take responsibility for my own conduct and safety and that of my buddy - No DM will be guiding these dives unless you request it. Dive as a group, in buddy pairs or solo, as suits you. The general mode is to get chained off, set up and proclaim the pool to be open.
11. No wierd rules of etiquette regarding gear, seating, camera tables (whatever they are), and rinse buckets - these boats don't have camera tables. The only etiquette I'm aware of for rinse buckets is that it's up to you to keep up with your gear. Snactuary has a rinse bucket for masks, and has a fresh water rinse. Sea Hunter, I don't recall seeing a rinse bucket & does not have a fresh water rinse.
12. A rough surf shore exit is way easier than a rough sea boat exit - Having done both, I disagree. Though they are different.
13. If something breaks you can go back to the car or up the street to the LDS to fix it - often there are spares on the boat. Bil generally keeps some stuff on Sanctuary.
14. If something breaks you have no baggage restrictions so you're probably carrying a spare - I usually carry a spare mask & regulator set, as well as a small save a dive kit I made with some basic tools, o rings & such.
15. You fillet your own fish - You still will.
16. Nobody else touches your gear - Same here. At most, the deckhand will check your valve prior to entry.
18. None of this descend with the group, stay with the group, ascend with the group nonsense you can go at your own pace and are only limited by your choice of buddy - You won't do this group diving from either Sea Hunter or Sanctuary unless you as a group plan it.
19. NO INSTABUDDIES! If your buddy sucks that's your own fault - when booking a 6 pack with your own group, there are no instabuddies.