DeputyDan
Contributor
TSandM is 100%+ correct. But - she said it much nicer that I would have.
Scholarship Help!
- Thread starter Christine Jacquot
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Debt-Free U: How I Paid for an Outstanding College Education Without Loans, Scholarships, or Mooching off My Parents: Zac Bissonnette, Andrew Tobias: 9781591842989: Amazon.com: Books
A must read for all who are going to college.
Without going off topic too much.. there is no way in HE double hockey sticks I would let my kid go to college that she, erh, I can't afford. Find something more in your budget. Doesn't mean you have to change your dream.. just find another way to finance it. You do not want to be graduating college (IF you graduate.. only like 40% graduate that go to college) with a ton of debt.
A must read for all who are going to college.
Without going off topic too much.. there is no way in HE double hockey sticks I would let my kid go to college that she, erh, I can't afford. Find something more in your budget. Doesn't mean you have to change your dream.. just find another way to finance it. You do not want to be graduating college (IF you graduate.. only like 40% graduate that go to college) with a ton of debt.
Christine,
if you submit a revised (and much improved) essay here on scubaboard, I will vote for your other essay. Better yet, if you can, replace that essay on Wyzant.
Keep in mind that this is an essay competition, and it isn't enough to just jot down your thoughts. The students you are competing with are doing the same thing you are doing by trying to get votes, however many will have better essays and they will get more votes.
if you submit a revised (and much improved) essay here on scubaboard, I will vote for your other essay. Better yet, if you can, replace that essay on Wyzant.
Keep in mind that this is an essay competition, and it isn't enough to just jot down your thoughts. The students you are competing with are doing the same thing you are doing by trying to get votes, however many will have better essays and they will get more votes.
Have to agree with Lynne on this. Writing an essay for a scholarship is not like composing a "what I did on my summer vacation" blurb for your English teacher. You need to sell yourself and whatever qualifications you have now. The essay posted doesn't do it. Get an editor who will kick your butt over form and content. One who will show you the meaning of "flow" and "readability" and make you revise the work until it does.
OP
Christine Jacquot
Registered
I would like to clarify some misconceptions. This prompt was a limited word count and therefore I could not write to the fullest extent that I would have liked to. The word count was at a maximum of 300 words and I wrote the maximum allowance. The prompt was asking for me to explain how I would be able to use my education to help others. I have a deep passion for the ocean and I believed that I made that quite clear in my paragraph. Because 300 words is not an essay. I apologize for my misuse of the word because it wasn't an essay. I should have clarified that. I also believed that I explained how I would use my education to help the oceans. If I were given a higher allowed word count, for example, 2,000 words, I would have gladly been able to fill that word count with more information and explanation on how I would be able to use my education to help others. As to the assumption that I write "what I do over the summer essays" in English, is not even close to being true. I am enrolled in the International Baccalaureate program, the most rigorous course available in public schools. Each of my 7 classes are at the college level. I can also assure you I will definitely be graduating from college with at least a Masters Degree in Environmental Engineering and Oceanography, because I have the dedication, intelligence, and passion to pursue my future career. My financial status is unknown to anyone reading this thread, therefore you don't have the place to be commenting on my ability to pay for my college education. The purpose of me winning scholarships is to offset the cost for both my parents and I, thank you. I have secured several already, and plan to pursue as many scholarship opportunities that I can. In my personal opinion, I found it very rude of people to be so judgemental, rather than encouraging an ambitious and dedicated student to work towards saving for their college education. I would also like to say that I am 17 years old and rather than offering constructive criticism, you are just being critical. As to those who voted for my essay, thank you for your support.
Matt Frankel
Registered
To my fellow divers with no souls,
People have goals and aspirations in life. Christine is no different than other high school students who hope to attend a well-recognized college in order to create a successful career which she will base the rest of her life on. College is not a cheap part of a person’s life but it is necessary if you are looking to get ahead. As a fellow student I admire Christine’s essay and her ambitions.
I am not sure if some of you are illiterate or what but her essay WAS well written, and I could feel her ambitions in life bleeding off the page. She clearly knows what she is doing, set goals to achieve and is fighting for that. Obviously she set the bar high unlike most of you.
Now I don’t usually take personal shots but being that you mid-life adults feel the obligation to bully a 17 year old girl via the internet I am going to do just that:
To TSandM: You have no inside knowledge into the financials of Christine and have no place to comment in regards to that. Now I am not sure if you have difficulty reading but the whole purpose of this essay IS to raise funds so I am not sure what you missed there. Now I am not sure what life was like for you during the 70’s/80’s but in today’s times we have standards to which we follow and if she were to have someone else read her essay and correct it than it would not have been unique to her in EVERY last aspect. Now I share your pain in having no money for going to college but what I don’t share is your obvious low goal, and lack of ambition. I strive for the best and only the best and by pursuing the best you get the best. Also I see that your life is going so well you had plenty of time to make over 30,000 posts on ScubaBoard alone. Hmmm.
Deputy Dan: Being that everything TSandM said was rude and you say that you would have said it in a less nice way than that makes you a prick.
Scuba_Jenny: I feel very sorry for your kids as they did not have a mother that pushed them in life to succeed. If you held your kids back due to monetary reasons than you obviously did not do your job as a mother to make sure your children had the best. Oh and I hope you know that if is extremely hypercritical to use the word “erh” while criticizing an essay. To conclude you have no insight into the intelligence of Christine and by hinting that she will not graduate from college makes you an imbecile.
Nimoh: You as well cannot criticize an essay if you cannot even capitalize the first words in your sentences. That contributes to poor grammar my friend.
So for all of you with no life and who are threatened by a 17 year old girl just remember there is a person on the other side of those words written on your screen. I know that if I saw you I would say all this to your face. Would you do the same?
Enjoy
People have goals and aspirations in life. Christine is no different than other high school students who hope to attend a well-recognized college in order to create a successful career which she will base the rest of her life on. College is not a cheap part of a person’s life but it is necessary if you are looking to get ahead. As a fellow student I admire Christine’s essay and her ambitions.
I am not sure if some of you are illiterate or what but her essay WAS well written, and I could feel her ambitions in life bleeding off the page. She clearly knows what she is doing, set goals to achieve and is fighting for that. Obviously she set the bar high unlike most of you.
Now I don’t usually take personal shots but being that you mid-life adults feel the obligation to bully a 17 year old girl via the internet I am going to do just that:
To TSandM: You have no inside knowledge into the financials of Christine and have no place to comment in regards to that. Now I am not sure if you have difficulty reading but the whole purpose of this essay IS to raise funds so I am not sure what you missed there. Now I am not sure what life was like for you during the 70’s/80’s but in today’s times we have standards to which we follow and if she were to have someone else read her essay and correct it than it would not have been unique to her in EVERY last aspect. Now I share your pain in having no money for going to college but what I don’t share is your obvious low goal, and lack of ambition. I strive for the best and only the best and by pursuing the best you get the best. Also I see that your life is going so well you had plenty of time to make over 30,000 posts on ScubaBoard alone. Hmmm.
Deputy Dan: Being that everything TSandM said was rude and you say that you would have said it in a less nice way than that makes you a prick.
Scuba_Jenny: I feel very sorry for your kids as they did not have a mother that pushed them in life to succeed. If you held your kids back due to monetary reasons than you obviously did not do your job as a mother to make sure your children had the best. Oh and I hope you know that if is extremely hypercritical to use the word “erh” while criticizing an essay. To conclude you have no insight into the intelligence of Christine and by hinting that she will not graduate from college makes you an imbecile.
Nimoh: You as well cannot criticize an essay if you cannot even capitalize the first words in your sentences. That contributes to poor grammar my friend.
So for all of you with no life and who are threatened by a 17 year old girl just remember there is a person on the other side of those words written on your screen. I know that if I saw you I would say all this to your face. Would you do the same?
Enjoy
Lopez116
Contributor
While I'm not as critical as Mr. Frankel, I do agree that you guys are being too hard on this girl. When I read her essay, the overall impression I got was that this was a brief, word limited summary, not a college entrance essay. In a world where kids get caught up wanting to do the "cool thing" and are worried about what others think of them, I commend the OP for putting herself out there and exposing a side of herself that might make her seem "nerdy" to others her age. This girl wants to go to college and try to work in a field she's passionate about. Frankel is absolutely right that there is a teenage human being on the other side of the screen. She has feelings and emotions and didn't deserve to have the wind taken out of her sails. Come on people...get it together here. She's one of the good ones.
Christine, If I came across as snarky, I apologize. I don't know your financial status and really, it's none of my business. However, when you post that you want a scholarship because tuition is 47K.. the impression is that its a bit expensive.. especially when state schools run a whole lot less. I do hope you graduate, and you probably will with your determination.
What I see here from some of these comments is people who are on the other side of the college dreams. They are reality. Form them to post some well meaning advice is admirable. It's all good. Take what you like and leave the rest. It's your life. Best of luck on your future.
What I see here from some of these comments is people who are on the other side of the college dreams. They are reality. Form them to post some well meaning advice is admirable. It's all good. Take what you like and leave the rest. It's your life. Best of luck on your future.
your funny. thanks for the laugh.
OP
Christine Jacquot
Registered
Lopez 116, I would like to thank you for giving me support and defending me.
---------- Post added May 2nd, 2013 at 09:05 PM ----------
And Scuba_Jenny, although I understand people think that college is too hard and won't make it, I will be one of those people who graduate because I am determined to graduate and not give up. Not going to college isn't an option for me.
---------- Post added May 2nd, 2013 at 09:05 PM ----------
And Scuba_Jenny, although I understand people think that college is too hard and won't make it, I will be one of those people who graduate because I am determined to graduate and not give up. Not going to college isn't an option for me.
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