(SATIRE) Local Diver Found Dead - Foul Play is Suspected

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SuPrBuGmAn

Contributor
Messages
12,436
Reaction score
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Location
Tallahassee, FL
# of dives
500 - 999
PONCE DE LEON, Fl(AP) -- Local diver found floating downstream Morrison Springs, a popular dive hole, this evening. Foul play is supsected.

Morrison Springs feeds into the Choctawhatchee River via a mile long run. The spring is used by several dive operations as a training ground for new divers as well as a nice, easy, cavern dive by veteran'd divers. Locals use the location as a boat launch as well as a recreational area. Boat traffic is common throughout the run and spring basin.

The man was reported to have claimed to dive Morrison regularly on weekdays before work. Photohikedive, the internet screen name the diver was known by on SCUBABOARD.COM, was found in full snorkel gear, skimpy swim trunks, but without a true SCUBA apparatus. A large hand print found on the back of the man's head suggests a drowning after being knocked unconscious.

Another local diver, who is known by SuPrBuGmAn in the same internet community, commented on Photohikedive's normal profile in bewilderment.

"Yeah I knew Photohikedive. I've rarely ever seen him actually scuba dive, despite all his claims. It doesn't suprise me that he was found with only snorkel gear. I'm more suprised that they actually found him in the spring run, his supposed dived profile for this particular location is simply to burn 1/3rd his air in the cavern before returning to the entry. I figured he was afraid of the shallow run and its inhabitants(fish). After all, he's definately afraid of the Gulf, just because it has a few waves every now and again..."

SeaYoda, another local diver who frequented the same areas that Photohikedive had been spotted in, had this to say about the deceased.

"Photohikedive was a strange fellow. He nearly always had an underwater camera, with a nice strobe, but he never had any memory in the thing. I think he just liked to set off the strobe in people's eyes. He usually had a partner with him, but I couldn't tell you a description. Whoever the other individual was, obviously didn't want to be identified, since they were always in a full drysuit... even in +80F Gulf water."

Authorities suspect the individual commonly seen with Photohikedive has something to do with the diver's early demise. Their relationship was reported to be openly abusive, with PHD taking the brunt of the violence. The diver was suspected to have provoked several divers however, and several leads are being followed.

A local expressed his concern over the event.

"I'z just glad they found the body before it float'd up. I don't carry a spare prop for my bass boat."

The loss of Photohikedive has saddened the diving community, especially affecting those frequenting the area around the crime. He seemed to be well liked and his absense will surely be noticed.
 
Are you kidding me?



SuPrBuGmAn:
PONCE DE LEON, Fl(AP) -- Local diver found floating downstream Morrison Springs, a popular dive hole, this evening. Foul play is supsected.

Morrison Springs feeds into the Choctawhatchee River via a mile long run. The spring is used by several dive operations as a training ground for new divers as well as a nice, easy, cavern dive by veteran'd divers. Locals use the location as a boat launch as well as a recreational area. Boat traffic is common throughout the run and spring basin.

The man was reported to have claimed to dive Morrison regularly on weekdays before work. Photohikedive, the internet screen name the diver was known by on SCUBABOARD.COM, was found in full snorkel gear, skimpy swim trunks, but without a true SCUBA apparatus. A large hand print found on the back of the man's head suggests a drowning after being knocked unconscious.

Another local diver, who is known by SuPrBuGmAn in the same internet community, commented on Photohikedive's normal profile in bewilderment.

"Yeah I knew Photohikedive. I've rarely ever seen him actually scuba dive, despite all his claims. It doesn't suprise me that he was found with only snorkel gear. I'm more suprised that they actually found him in the spring run, his supposed dived profile for this particular location is simply to burn 1/3rd his air in the cavern before returning to the entry. I figured he was afraid of the shallow run and its inhabitants(fish). After all, he's definately afraid of the Gulf, just because it has a few waves every now and again..."

SeaYoda, another local diver who frequented the same areas that Photohikedive had been spotted in, had this to say about the deceased.

"Photohikedive was a strange fellow. He nearly always had an underwater camera, with a nice strobe, but he never had any memory in the thing. I think he just liked to set off the strobe in people's eyes. He usually had a partner with him, but I couldn't tell you a description. Whoever the other individual was, obviously didn't want to be identified, since they were always in a full drysuit... even in +80F Gulf water."

Authorities suspect the individual commonly seen with Photohikedive has something to do with the diver's early demise. Their relationship was reported to be openly abusive, with PHD taking the brunt of the violence. The diver was suspected to have provoked several divers however, and several leads are being followed.

A local expressed his concern over the event.

"I'z just glad they found the body before it float'd up. I don't carry a spare prop for my bass boat."

The loss of Photohikedive has saddened the diving community, especially affecting those frequenting the area around the crime. He seemed to be well liked and his absense will surely be noticed.
 
LMAO!

Did any of the locals that might have been at the boat ramp recall hearing a lound SMACK sometime before the body was discovered?
 
You boyz ain't rite!
 
:rofl2:

The are you kidding me bit, by PerroneFord was the kicker! Oh grief, :lol: I can just imagine him thinking, poor guy.
 
Bug Man !!!
Your journalistic skills leave a lot to be desired . . . but funny nonetheless !!!

the K
 
Great! Each to his own opinion, but this thread (and others like it) are disgusting. Others, who do not recognize the facetiousness of a post like this, may get the wrong ideas about diving. Just what the industry needs.

Good Job!
 
garyfotodiver:
Great! Each to his own opinion, but this thread (and others like it) are disgusting. Others, who do not recognize the facetiousness of a post like this, may get the wrong ideas about diving. Just what the industry needs.

Good Job!

The Kraken has editted the title to make it obviously a joke. My intention wasn't to disgust anyone, sorry. Just poking back at PHD for poking in the first place. :wink: No need to be serious all the time.
 

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