TONY CHANEY
Contributor
A friend and I were walking down the street and we see a dog licking his privates. My friend said, "Man I wish I could do that!" I said, "Are you crazy? That dog will eat you alive if you try that."
Post Your Pretty Funny Stuff Here
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pidgiepoo
Contributor
Does anyone know how to cancel a bid on E-Bay?
I put in a $7 bid for a "Mickey Mouse Outfit",
and now it seems I'm only nineteen minutes
away from owning Obama's entire Cabinet
I put in a $7 bid for a "Mickey Mouse Outfit",
and now it seems I'm only nineteen minutes
away from owning Obama's entire Cabinet
pidgiepoo
Contributor
A magician worked on a cruise ship.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> The audience was
different each week so the magician did the same
tricks over and over again.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> There
was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw
the shows each week and began to understand how
the Magician did every trick.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>
Once he understood, he started shouting in the
middle of the show, "Look, It’s not the same
hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under
the table!” Or "Hey, why are all the cards
the ace of spades?"
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> The magician
was furious but couldn't do anything. It
was, after all, the Captain's' parrot.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> Then one stormy night on the
Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning
almost all who were on board.
>>>>>>>>>> The
magician luckily found himself on a piece of
wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate
would have it ... With the parrot.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> They stared at each other with
hatred, but did not utter a word.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>
This went on for a day... And then 2
days. And then 3 days. Finally on
the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any
longer and said....
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>"OK, I give up.
Where's the ****in'
ship?"
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> The audience was
different each week so the magician did the same
tricks over and over again.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> There
was only one problem: The captain's parrot saw
the shows each week and began to understand how
the Magician did every trick.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>
Once he understood, he started shouting in the
middle of the show, "Look, It’s not the same
hat!" or, "Look, he's hiding the flowers under
the table!” Or "Hey, why are all the cards
the ace of spades?"
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> The magician
was furious but couldn't do anything. It
was, after all, the Captain's' parrot.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> Then one stormy night on the
Pacific, the ship unfortunately sank, drowning
almost all who were on board.
>>>>>>>>>> The
magician luckily found himself on a piece of
wood floating in the middle of the sea, as fate
would have it ... With the parrot.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>> They stared at each other with
hatred, but did not utter a word.
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>
This went on for a day... And then 2
days. And then 3 days. Finally on
the 4th day, the parrot could not hold back any
longer and said....
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>>>>"OK, I give up.
Where's the ****in'
ship?"
ScubaSteve
Wow.....what a DB
pidgiepoo
Contributor
Every day, a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady standing at
>>the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and
tells her that her
>>hair smells nice.
>>
>>After a week of this, she
can't stand it anymore and takes her complaint
>>to a supervisor in the
personnel department and states that she wants to
>>write a sexual
harassment grievance against him.
>>
>>The Human Resources supervisor is
puzzled by this decision and asks,
>>"What's sexually threatening about a
co-worker telling you your hair
>>smells nice?"
>>
>>The woman replies,
"It's Keith, ...... The dwarf"
>>the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and
tells her that her
>>hair smells nice.
>>
>>After a week of this, she
can't stand it anymore and takes her complaint
>>to a supervisor in the
personnel department and states that she wants to
>>write a sexual
harassment grievance against him.
>>
>>The Human Resources supervisor is
puzzled by this decision and asks,
>>"What's sexually threatening about a
co-worker telling you your hair
>>smells nice?"
>>
>>The woman replies,
"It's Keith, ...... The dwarf"
Mother Superior was taking a bath. There's a knock on the door.
She says, "Who is it?"
A male voice responds, "The blind man."
After a few moments of deliberation the nun says, "Come in."
The man enters and says, "Nice tits, Mrs Nun. Where do you want me to hang the blind?"
She says, "Who is it?"
A male voice responds, "The blind man."
After a few moments of deliberation the nun says, "Come in."
The man enters and says, "Nice tits, Mrs Nun. Where do you want me to hang the blind?"
Breast Cancer: Not Funny. But ladies, if you're not checking regularly, there's a free phone app to remind you about breast cancer, and you'll definitely remember it . . .
[video=youtube;VsyE2rCW71o]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsyE2rCW71o[/video]
[video=youtube;VsyE2rCW71o]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VsyE2rCW71o[/video]
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