Post Your Pretty Funny Stuff Here
- Thread starter sandshaker
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technicalbeast
Contributor
try belowjobs
ScubaSteve
Wow.....what a DB
Mark Derail
Contributor
pidgiepoo
Contributor
Quote of the day:
> 'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.
> She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of ****.'
>
>
>
> 'Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby. If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal. If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart.
> She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her. So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of ****.'
>
>
>
mobeeno
Contributor
[h=6][/h][h=6]This guy needs a job and decides to apply at the zoo. As it happened, their star attraction, a gorilla, had passed away the night before and they had carefully preserved his hide. They tell this guy that they'll pay him well if he would dress up in the gorillas skin and pretend to be the gorilla so people will keep coming to the zoo. Well, the guy has his doubts, but Hey! He needs the money, so he puts on the skin and goes out into the cage. The people all cheer to see him. He plays up to the audience and they just eat it up. This isn't so bad, he thinks, and he starts really putting on a show, jumping around, beating his chest and roaring, swinging around. During one acrobatic attempt, though, he loses his balance and crashes through some safety netting, landing square in the middle of the lion cage! As he lies there stunned, the lion roars. He's terrified and starts screaming, "Help, Help, Help!" The lion races over to him, places his paws on his chest and hisses, "Shut up or we'll BOTH lose our jobs!"[/h]
True story:
My GF was sitting the table working on a "To Do List." Her 5-year old son came to the table and asked what mommy was doing. She explained a "To Do List" and her son wanted to make a list of his own.
He sat at the the table with a pen and paper, and thought deeply for a minute. Then he started his "To Do List:"
1. Play.....
---------- Post Merged at 01:37 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 01:23 AM ----------
Actual photo that I took
Elevator placard on a Bangkok hotel
My GF was sitting the table working on a "To Do List." Her 5-year old son came to the table and asked what mommy was doing. She explained a "To Do List" and her son wanted to make a list of his own.
He sat at the the table with a pen and paper, and thought deeply for a minute. Then he started his "To Do List:"
1. Play.....
---------- Post Merged at 01:37 AM ---------- Previous Post was at 01:23 AM ----------
Actual photo that I took
Elevator placard on a Bangkok hotel
ScubaSteve
Wow.....what a DB
Ardy
Contributor
- Messages
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- Location
- Australia - Southern HIghlands NSW
- # of dives
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[FONT="]Children Writing About the Ocean. The next time you take an oceanography course, you will be totally prepared. [/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]
1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6[/FONT][FONT="]) [/FONT][FONT="]
2[/FONT][FONT="]) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6) [/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]
3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Mike, age 7)
[/FONT][FONT="]
4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)
[/FONT][FONT="]
5) - A dolphin breaths through an ******* on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8) [/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]
6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)
[/FONT][FONT="]
7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)
[/FONT][FONT="]
8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6) [/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]
9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant,[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="]so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)
[/FONT][FONT="]
10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7)
[/FONT][FONT="]
11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6) [/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]
12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)
[/FONT][FONT="]
13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)
[/FONT][FONT="]
14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6) [/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]
15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7) [/FONT]
[/FONT][FONT="]
1) - This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6[/FONT][FONT="]) [/FONT][FONT="]
2[/FONT][FONT="]) - Oysters' balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6) [/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]
3) - If you are surrounded by ocean, you are an island. If you don't have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. (Mike, age 7)
[/FONT][FONT="]
4) - Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)
[/FONT][FONT="]
5) - A dolphin breaths through an ******* on the top of its head. (Billy, age 8) [/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]
6) - My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)
[/FONT][FONT="]
7) - When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn't blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)
[/FONT][FONT="]
8) - Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6) [/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]
9) - I'm not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant,[/FONT][FONT="] [/FONT][FONT="]so I can't think what to write. (Amy, age 6)
[/FONT][FONT="]
10) - Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves in to chargers. (Christopher, age 7)
[/FONT][FONT="]
11) - When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6) [/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]
12) - Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age 8)
[/FONT][FONT="]
13) - On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)
[/FONT][FONT="]
14) - The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don't drown I don't know. (Bobby, age 6) [/FONT][FONT="]
[/FONT][FONT="]
15) - My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn't know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7) [/FONT]
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