The Conundrum of Margaritaville Continues
By Jim Kalvin
Sorry folks, but I just cant hold off on this topic any longer.
As a Florida native, boater, fisherman, sailor, and mariner, all of this Jimmy Buffet Margaritaville garbage has to be called for what it is.
I mean, think about it
For over thirty years, Buffet has been going all around the world singing the praises of life afloat - most specifically in the Florida Keys or the islands of the Caribbean. From Seattle to New York, and from North Dakota to the southern extremes of Texas, he has been inspiring people to go south, get a boat, and live the Jimmy Buffet life-style.
His writings and music are rife with references to certain bars, islands, restaurants, bays, and inlets that have been immortalized, and have become destinations for millions of visitors over time. Along with the locations, a healthy dose (or an unhealthy dose - depending upon your point of view) of alcohol and marijuana is added to the mix in order to provide the mind-altering perception that one is able to escape reality, and come to Paradise with Mr. Buffet. Or, as in his latest smash hit co-produced with Alan Jackson, he says that your ills can be cured by walking off of your job, getting drunk, climbing aboard your boat, and heading, once again, south to Margaritaville.
But what is one really going to find when one reaches the City Limits of Margaritaville?
I believe that most would be surprised to say the least.
First of all, you wont be able to find a dock to put your boat. If your boat is on a trailer, you will have to get up pretty early to find a parking place at the boat ramp - if you can find a boat ramp that you are able to use. And marina space? Forget it! Marinas in Florida are disappearing as fast as redevelopment permits can be obtained, and we are not getting any new facilities anytime soon.
Secondly, if you are able to put your boat into the water, you are likely going to be faced with massive no entry areas, extended (miles long) slow speed zones, or Marine Protected Areas (no fishing, anchoring, diving, or other uses allowed).
One would be inclined to ask why it should be so hard to come down to enjoy that which Mr. Buffet promotes. And the irony is that it is Mr. Buffet himself that has led the charge to curtail pleasure boating throughout the State of Florida through his financial support and direct involvement with Save the Manatee Club.
A good idea at the time of inception, the Club now pays its directors much more than it spends on conservation efforts or anything having to do with saving manatees. And the modus operandi of the group is to sue individuals, municipalities, and our Government agencies to curtail water access throughout the State. Millions upon millions of dollars have been stuffed into the salaries, retirement accounts, and expense accounts of SMC directors, while their long-range objective has been to close one waterway after another.
Current marina owners have been sued, and potential builders of new facilities face impossible mountains of regulatory red tape due to the whinings, legal maneuverings, and heavy-handed tactics of these for-hire non-profit environmentalists. As well, single-family home-owners are now being stripped of their ability to legally keep their boat in the water behind their homes. And, Buffets name is wielded like a weapon in legislative committees and agency staff meetings. Strangely, he is touted as the end-all, be-all, do-all of aquatic resource management by his drones at these gatherings.
Funny, though I was a fan of his during the 70s and 80s, I dont remember ever seeing Dr. or PHD in front of, or behind his name.
So, Mr. Buffet - who is probably personally responsible for more boaters coming to Florida than any other single cause (including the Marine Industries Association or our Tourist Development Councils) - makes it possible for SMC to wage their war against those that call themselves Parrot-Heads. The very people who are responsible for Mr. Buffets wealth are the ones that his Club is attacking - and has been attacking since the mid 70s. While he could have been using his considerable influence over the years helping with boater education, safety initiatives, and real resource protection measures, Mr. Buffet has, instead, chosen to wage a silent war against all aquatic resource users. By making targets of his fans in the name of saving the manatee, he has done the manatees, the State of Florida, and the entire aquatic resource a severe injustice.
Is this just my opinion?
You might like to think so. But the Florida Fish & Wildlife Conservation Commissioners might tend to agree. They have publicly lambasted the leaders of Save the Manatee Club recently, and on numerous occasions, for misleading the public, lying to the Commissioners, costing the State huge sums of money fighting their base-less lawsuits, and for ignoring available science in pursuit of their no-growth / anti-access agenda.
Come down to Margaritaville?
To do what? Stand on the bridge, and look at where you might have been able to go boating years ago?
Buffet is taking your money to fight your ability to enjoy the very things that he has sung and written about. But dont worry - he will always be able to enjoy the Oceans. His sea-plane, and his motor yacht will take him far away from the waters of Florida that he is helping to close down - one waterway at a time.
Im just sorry that Alan Jackson has been duped into believing in the myth of Margaritaville.
Reproduced WITH permission
