I posted a recent thread about an out of gas incident I had this past weekend. I don’t expect anyone to read that entire thread but at least the first post will help to explain how and why I feel that the general subject of Panic is a worthwhile discussion to have here in the “basic scuba” forum. And since I might have the most recent experience of actually approaching or reaching a state of Panic, it's probably worth discussing as a dedicated and separate thread while it’s all fresh in my mind. My hope is that comments about equipment configurations and my bad pre-dive decisions can be kept in the other thread and that here we can just discuss Panic.
So I’ve been on the fence on whether or not to post this……because it’s really hard to openly and publicly admit when you do something totally stupid. But then I thought more about it last night and figure that if it might provide some productive and positive food for thought and discussion…..or...
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Even though I have always considered myself as person who can “handle” situations, I also now know that am not a “Chatterton” that will just automatically go into “zen” mode while holding my breath for 3 minutes as I calmly think and work the problem.
As I replay the events of this dive, it literally scares the crap out of me when I think about how it could have so easily gone differently, and I am embarrassed and disappointed in myself when I think about how it was preventable and never should have happened.
As I go through it over and over and over…..I don’t feel that I “panicked”……. and so I think that I was incorrect in using the term “first stage of panic” in the thread. After my experience, I now believe there are no “stages” of panic. It’s more like a switch or a circuit breaker that gets flipped and there are no other options or “levels” other than the switch is either on or off. I believe that I was very, very close to flipping that switch.
My first thought when experiencing that very first feeling of reduced gas flow is probably best described as…..”hmm…that’s weird”…..and I would call it a level 1 or 2 concern. When I exhaled than went to inhale and there was nada…..I feel that I then went right to a level 9-10 concern……. but not Panic…because my immediate thought was still to simply go to my redundant source pony 2nd. When I didn’t immediately find it where it was supposed to be I went right to a level 5 anxiety and then moments later when I was still unable to find it I went into immediately a high level WTF, Oh Sh@t anxiety and my very next thought was ESA. What’s really weird is that I distinctly remember thinking ESA and not CESA. I also remember thinking I’m at 60ft and I can do this. I also remember thinking how “f’d” up this would be for my wife if I didn’t make it. It’s literally amazing how many thoughts can go through your mind in a second or two.. But I also believe that if a person is still “thinking” , they have not yet flipped the switch.
Then…. and what actually may have saved my bacon….. is I grabbed my Air 2 for the sole purpose of holding the oral inflate / deflate button and having that as an option to “rebreath” into my BC on the ascent. I remember thinking that it’s only 60ft to the surface……just two boat length’s…… I remember thinking that I was thinking!
Once I had the Air 2 mouthpiece in my in my mug, my uncontrolled reaction was to inhale and then there was sweet compressed gas available along with that wonderful sound of delivery. After two or three deep breaths, my mind slowly moved away from the “switch” and the needle on my high anxiety meter very slowly started moving down from that 9.9 level.
My conclusion is that panic is a strange and unpredictable thing. Maybe you can plan for it or train for it or prevent it, but you can’t really practice it and I don’t believe that all the training in the world can let someone know exactly what they’ll actually do if they ever flip that “switch”.