Interesting. It looks like we fall into two camps on this forum: those that think it's perfectly acceptable to be insulting and tactless to divers who post their incidents...and those who don't.
I'm happy to fall into the second camp. Y'all can decide for yourselves which camp YOU fall into. (Although I think it's pretty obvious.)
On the other hand, if we were to force everyone who is pointing out possible areas of improvement (whether they are applicable to the specific case in question or not) to revise their already lengthy and elaborate responses several times, just not to step on any toes or offend any sensibilities, then that may drive them away from posting.
So wait, let me get this straight: are you saying that if someone goes to all the trouble to type up a lengthy and elaborate response, they shouldn't be expected to revise it to remove any insults, belittling, or rude comments that might have crept in? You think it's too much to ask of the posters in here to make even the slightest effort to not step on toes or offend sensibilities? And if we ask them to remove any such comments before they post, or to at least TRY to be tactful, we might drive them away from posting?
Oooookay. Just wanted to make sure I understood your point.
I know there are responses that can legitimately be called rude and out of line (welcome to The Internets), but this thread has none. You can easily spot them because they are usually full of exaggeration and misinformation. But here even the one remark you later singled out was made in the appropriate context: if the OP can't see any room for improvement, maybe he should take up knitting.
I disagree with you that that comment wasn't rude. It was. And you mis-quoted the comment. The comment didn't say "can't see any
room for improvement."
What the comment actually said was that if the OP couldn't see anything he could have changed or done differently, then he should quit diving and taking up knitting...
even though the OP had never said that! He didn't once state that he didn't think he'd made ANY mistakes. In fact, the OP came back later and made it clear he did think there were things he should have done differently.
But by that time he'd already been told he should quit diving and take up knitting. Sorry, but that's just plain rude. And obviously I'm not the only person who thought so.
The interesting thing is that I didn't actually have a problem with DA's initial response. I thought some of it was tactlessly stated, and I didn't agree with all of it, but I had no problem with him posting any of it to get the discussion started.
What I had a problem with was the fact that he got so snippy when the OP had the audacity to disagree with him, and offer some clarification in defense of his actions.
THAT RIGHT THERE is the biggest problem in this forum. It all boils down to this: some people don't like to be disagreed with. Some people just can't handle somebody telling them that they are wrong - even if they are. And when it happens, they will say something rude. Because they're ticked that somebody actually disagreed with them.
That, in a nutshell, is all that happened here.
So someone makes an assumption while responding that doesn't hold true in your scenario. You point it out and carry on - what purpose does it serve to accuse the responder of lacking tact?
Note the part that's bolded above. That's what went wrong here. A poster made "an assumption while responding that didn't hold true." The OP pointed it out.
And then he was told that if he didn't agree with the erroneous assumption, he should take up knitting instead of diving. Can you see where it went sideways?
And that's what I see happen in here all too often. A diver posts their incident. Somebody tells them they did something wrong. The OP defends himself. The other guy then attacks him for defending himself, because he can't stand anybody disagreeing with him.
And to bring this back to this incident...while I agree with some of DA's original comments, I still strongly disagree with his assessment that the OP put any of the other divers in danger by deciding to ascend. The other divers were all certified divers, each with their own buddy. He didn't "obligate" the guide to come help him - he was performing a self-rescue. The guide coming to help him had no impact on the safety of the other divers. The OP's actions didn't impact anybody's safety, except for his own buddy - but that was inevitable, by virtue of the fact that he was having a problem. His own buddy's safety WAS compromised, but that would have been true regardless of whether he chose to ascend to self-rescue, or to swim to his buddy to use his redundant air source. That's inherent in the buddy system: if one diver has a problem, the other diver's safey is compromised.
I also completely understand the OP wanting to come back and defend himself against that charge. If somebody told ME that my actions had put a bunch of other divers in danger, and I didn't feel it was true, I certainly would have come back and defended myself!
Anyway, I will happily remain in my...um..."tactful" camp
, and continue to treat other members with respect and consideration.