Obsessed diver

[scuba41girl]

He likes to solo dive, I'm totally against it.

I was completely against solo diving until I started diving Jersey....cold, dark, and deep. It is very easy to lose a buddy in poor visibility so you don't have a choice but to depend on yourself. I went out and bought doubles so I didnt have to worry about air comming from a buddy. Also, go take a tech course. It wil teach you to become self-reliant.

I have the opposite problem. My boyfriend constantly keeps an eye on me and I tell him I'm fine. We have very different dive styles but we dive together because we both know we can take care of ourselves.

 

[scuba41girl]

First, if he is an instructor, he should be a great buddy. If he is not, he is NOT a very good instructor.

This statement can also depend on where the instructor is diving. I know 2 instructors that have every c-card possible and they are very limited to the quarry. They melt in the ocean. It's hard for someone to be a good buddy, if they are anxietal about the conditions.

My buddy choice would be an AOW ocean diver over a quarry instructor any day. Not meant to be offensive to anyone but the conditions in a quarry are nothing compared to 5-7s on the ocean

 

[bzydiver]

[Almitywife: QUOTE]what exact attention while diving do you wish? the hand holding, stick to your side type? is he diving a distance away from you but still within eye contact and you dont notice him looking at you every now and then? im not making fun of you/the situation at all just trying to understand.
[/QUOTE]

Oh, I'm not looking for special attention during the dive. I'd like to see my dive buddy within a couple arms length. I've tried to explain that it doesn't matter if he can see me, but I can't see him. That does nothing for my comfort level. When that happens, I am looking behind me, looking above me, looking below me: "where is my buddy?" I don't want or need to hold hands w/ my buddy. I've dove with other people that understand the buddy concept.

But here's the latest: we talked about this at length and we decided to "start over" diving with each other. If it doesn't work out, I'll find another buddy.

 

[diveprn]

Hi, I always thought "dive buddy" was just that. according to most of the dive literature and certification agencies, being within eyesite is what's important.
Why do they teach you to "share air, hand signals, etc.
Yes, you have to be independent and know what to do to save yourself if you have to. I travel alone, and I try to find a buddy that dives a similar profile. A lot of places on't let you dive alone or give you a hard time.
I think you need to find another buddy if he doesn't change. I know what it is like to constantly look around for your buddy, I had one like that ra couple of years and missed out on a lot of enjoyment on my dives. He never changed so I learned to develop better navigation skills, cause I never seemed to be orriented to the dives like he was. He was DM not an instructor.

Good luck

 

[Giggi]

My hubby turned into the buddy from hell on our last trip when he met up with some much more seasoned divers when I sat out for a couple of days with an ear injury. When I got back into the water with him as my dive buddy, he kept taking off using all these great new skills he had learned from his new buddies, and leaving me behind to suck air like a hoover or try and keep up with him.

On the second dive, I ended up with a 14 year old as my new dive buddy (at my insistence) and since I am still a very novice diver, our air consumption was about the same. I got the opportunity to show my new buddy some of the sites (as well as sharing better diving tips) that had been shown to me on prior dive trips by more experienced divers.

Granted, I am in no way a better diver than "novice," but it was nice for me to be able to share some of the things that were passed on to me when I was newly certified. It was then that I realized that even though hubby and I are so well suited to each other on the surface, as dive buddies, we're not very well suited at all.

Maybe it's time to find a new dive buddy.

 

[santafejoe]

I to am still a novice and i feel that if your dive Buddy is your Hubby, Wife, Girlfriend, Boyfriend or just a freind that you would think that because they have more experience then you and a lot more dives also , that they would just take the time when they dive with you to go your speed and what your able to do. Hey were not all experts when we start out . To me i feel each time you make a dive your always learning something new.If your dive buddy does not want to go at your speed then it s time to look for a new Dive Buddy.

 

[spectrum]

As an obsessed hubby I can realte a bit. My wife does about 1/3 as many dives as myself and apart from diving dry she's game for almost anything including taking a shot at a 40F dive in her wetsuuit.

Where we have some disconnects is the growing spread in our skills and abilities. I have been trying to put her in the lead position so that she's hopefully getting more from her dives in terms of development.

Has you husband been letting you lead? Perhaps with you taking the lead his "protector" instinct would kick in and he'll be there for you. Meanwhile he can watch you and the fish, ocasionally check the course you choose and have a nice dive.

Pete