Non diving Girlfriend

[newbie@scuby]

I'm the opposite I dive my husband doesn't........he not interested to learn either.
Doen't like the water, refuses to fly, and something always comes up when I plan a dive trip.

 

[capittm]

Gentle exposure. I also was afraid of the water. I was literally paniced in water that I couldn't see the bottom in. We did gradual dives in shallow water and I learned that indeed there were no "big bad meanies" waiting to eat me at the bottom. (I think Jaws contributed to my entire generation fearing something being in the water.. or maybe I'm the only one that hears that "Da dum... da dum.. da da da da...da dum" when I get in the water.. lol)
With time and patience I am enjoying myself as much as my hubby is!

 

[Chocoholic]

I'm the opposite I dive my husband doesn't........he not interested to learn either.
Doen't like the water, refuses to fly, and something always comes up when I plan a dive trip.

My husband doesn't dive either. I tried the gentle persuasion, the dive in the pool in Cabo, the wow this is what I saw... and managed to get some friends who happened to be listening to start diving but not so with my Husband. I give up, and he golfs.

 

[ScubaDadMiami]

The problem is that we can say what we will do until the moment comes to actually do it. This much being said . . . .

I don't think that I could ever wind up with anyone who was not a diver. In the beginning of a relationship, when you explain about diving, what it means and how frequently you go diving, your partner does not get it even if he/she hears what you are saying. Inevitably, down the road, you are going to hear things like: "Diving, AGAIN?!!! You just went six months ago." What do you think this person will think when you explain that you must dive frequently to keep up your proficiency?

Of course, bringing home a new relationship for the first time is its own brand of fun. Right now, when you enter my condo, you can have a lovely view of where a diningroom used to be (I have long since gotten rid of the impractical diningroom table) that is now filled with tanks, spare parts and the like. You can open the "coat closet" to find it filled with helium and oxygen cascades. Enter the master bathroom; the bath tub has long since been converted to a drying rack. "When are you going to get rid of all this junk?" comes to mind. Junk? JUNK? How dare you?!

How about the hours of preparation as the coming weekend approaches? The equipment checks and packing the night before (which, coincidentally usually falls on a Friday or Saturday night)? Or how about finding out that a thirty minute dive outing actually means pretty much the whole day by the time you add in the time traveling to and from the boat, the dive itself, the post dive festivities (eating, drinking, BSing)? Liveawhat? Going away on a trip where all you do is dive and sleep on a boat for up to a week? The list goes on and on.

I guess that this is why I have been single for so long. However, I think that I need what I need. I need to dive. Any female singles out there interested in a lifetime of this kind of fun? I am quite available.

 

[Al Mialkovsky]

I've been diving since 65. My wife started diving 25 years after we got married. She is now a great diver and dives every opportunity year around.

Give it time, she'll either want to do it herself or not. The worst divers I've seen are those who get pushed into doing it.

 

[Nehallenia]

The problem is that we can say what we will do until the moment comes to actually do it. This much being said . . . .

I don't think that I could ever wind up with anyone who was not a diver. In the beginning of a relationship, when you explain about diving, what it means and how frequently you go diving, your partner does not get it even if he/she hears what you are saying. Inevitably, down the road, you are going to hear things like: "Diving, AGAIN?!!! You just went six months ago." What do you think this person will think when you explain that you must dive frequently to keep up your proficiency?

Of course, bringing home a new relationship for the first time is its own brand of fun. Right now, when you enter my condo, you can have a lovely view of where a diningroom used to be (I have long since gotten rid of the impractical diningroom table) that is now filled with tanks, spare parts and the like. You can open the "coat closet" to find it filled with helium and oxygen cascades. Enter the master bathroom; the bath tub has long since been converted to a drying rack. "When are you going to get rid of all this junk?" comes to mind. Junk? JUNK? How dare you?!

How about the hours of preparation as the coming weekend approaches? The equipment checks and packing the night before (which, coincidentally usually falls on a Friday or Saturday night)? Or how about finding out that a thirty minute dive outing actually means pretty much the whole day by the time you add in the time traveling to and from the boat, the dive itself, the post dive festivities (eating, drinking, BSing)? Liveawhat? Going away on a trip where all you do is dive and sleep on a boat for up to a week? The list goes on and on.

I guess that this is why I have been single for so long. However, I think that I need what I need. I need to dive. Any female singles out there interested in a lifetime of this kind of fun? I am quite available.

Well, I am always baffled when I hear from the divers I know that their wives don't dive and are not interested; how could you be with someone who was uninterested in something very important to you, and which took up a great deal of your time?

And good for you, ScubaDadMiami, for knowing what you like and need - that alone should make you attractive to the right kind of lady, and she is worth waiting for. Or at least that is what I keep telling myself about my long wait for the right kind of guy!

 

[Scott Riemer]

Here's my solution. I took my wife's best friend's husband and we got certified together. Wasn't hard to talk them into going with us to Cancun and Cozumel. The wives hung out by the pool and we went diving! We'd do a couple of dives a day and still have time with them.

 

[getwet2]

Well, I am always baffled when I hear from the divers I know that their wives don't dive and are not interested; how could you be with someone who was uninterested in something very important to you, and which took up a great deal of your time?

With all the different things that are "important" to different people in life, scubadivng is just one of them. To some people, diving is the only reason they were put on this earth, to others it just a hobby that they enjoy doing regardless of who wants to do it with them.

It's not really that they are uninterested, I'm asked everytime how my dive was, did you have fun, what did you see, let me see the pictures. It's just that they choose not to dive, for what ever reason. What's important is that they accept that you do dive and let you do it and don't complain when you do, it's called compromising and it's a big part of life and of marriage and if anybody says otherwise they are probably single. Everyone takes things to a different personal level and will make whatever sacrifices (compromises) they feel are worth it to get where they want to be and one way is no better than the other.

There have been times when I have decided not to dive for one reason or another and my wife has said I should go or I'm going to be sorry I didn't, you know what.........I should have listened to her because she was right.....again. When we plan our vacations we do it with MY diving in mind and things that are of interest to HER, it's really not that hard of a thing to do.

So the next time you feel baffled, don't be because you have probably just met a happily married "single" diving man or woman, probably just the kind you are even looking for. So what if the other half doesn't dive as long as you are both happy in life. Remember that it's not all about having the exact same interests in everything you do, cause that's not going to happen, it's about understanding that your interests may not be the same but that you allow the other the freedom to enjoy theirs.

Just think, you could be passing up terrific people all because they just choose not to dive or maybe...........have just not had the encouragement to learn.

 

[Nehallenia]

it's called compromising and it's a big part of life and of marriage and if anybody says otherwise they are probably single. Everyone takes things to a different personal level and will make whatever sacrifices (compromises) they feel are worth it to get where they want to be and one way is no better than the other.

So the next time you feel baffled, don't be because you have probably just met a happily married "single" diving man or woman, probably just the kind you are even looking for. So what if the other half doesn't dive as long as you are both happy in life. Remember that it's not all about having the exact same interests in everything you do, cause that's not going to happen, it's about understanding that your interests may not be the same but that you allow the other the freedom to enjoy theirs.

Just think, you could be passing up terrific people all because they just choose not to dive or maybe...........have just not had the encouragement to learn.

I certainly agree with much of what you have said here; however your remark about not knowing how to compromise and "you are probably single" rankled somewhat. See my post in Single Divers - I was married for a long time, and did a lot of compromising. If you have a healthy relationship, good for you. My comment was about what I have observed locally, with a few people who are very commited to diving paired with people who truly have NO INTEREST in diving. I think I have picked up signs that these relationships are not healthy, and that likely has nothing to do with diving.

I am not passing up any terrific people for any reason - I have however passed up people who are self-centred, full of rage, extremely judgemental, or whom I just don't find sexually attractive no matter how hard I try (and sex is important to me, so chemistry is important).

Diving is very intimate, expensive, requires a lot of time and commitment - and draws a certain type of person. This leads me to believe that if your partner is not at all interested in diving, you have some very significant differences. Just my .02psi I guess.

 

[Foo]

My husband became interested in diving first, a few yrs ago, after 22 yrs of marriage. So, my disinterest (at first) had nothing to do with not being supportive or "uninterested". I'm interested in my husband and his activities, but I will not be defined as "uninterested" simply because I chose not to join in with each of his activities. If I take up scrapbooking or quilting, I will not have my feelings hurt if he doesn't join in, either. Life would be pretty boring if we were all interested in the same things all the time.

I was perfectly happy to remain at the resort, with attention from the poolside waiter, or shop, or whatever I wanted to do (freedom!) while my husband went diving. I loved to snorkel, even went on a snorkel trip without him while he was diving, in Coz. Was snorkeling above him last summer in Cancun, when this sudden longing hit me to be DOWN THERE. So, I enrolled in class a year ago, and although I had some difficulties getting certified, I've been diving now for 9 months.

Now, I'm the one planning the dive trips, etc. My husband is getting his Advanced cert this month, then my daughter (who certified this summer) and I will take ours. My son in law just began his course today, we will all dive together New Years '05 in Coz. Then his wife (our oldest daughter) will be getting her certification by next spring. (She is busy with our 6 mo. grandson these days, but has done a resort course and wants to dive someday.) So, a chain of events has occurred so that we now have a diving family, and we enjoy our time together.

But I don't mind if my husband goes on a "dive with the boys trip". He hunts too. I just plan a trip of my own with my daughters or a girlfriend. We need time away from each other, too- we are not extensions of one another, we are individuals. I appreciate my husband more every time I'm away from him, lol. It's okay to have different interests, you just have to find some that you share, also. And diving may or may not be one of them.

Foo