If PADI told you Vicks Vaporub would give you more bottom time, if you rub it on your tank, but you need a special cert.
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I too have been trying to understand your posts, and I get that you are trying to insert some humor, and appreciate that. But just don't get the jokes.
Are you suggesting the increased bottom time is just a hoax by PADI to sell nitrox certification cards? I have nitrox certifications from 3 different agencies, and they all agree with extending bottom time.