SmpleGreen,
Thanks for sharing this experience. There are few stories that convey so vividly how we can get ourselves in real trouble.
Since I have logged roughly one tenth of your dives I am in no position to make suggestions about your future diving. However, if you would come to me for advanced training as a pilot and would tell me a story like this, the first thing I would do is to make sure you got the 'right stuff' psychologically.
Instead of whipping out the folder with ink blotches, let me just summarize the rules of the environment we are dealing with.
When we dive or take to the skies, the next hour of our life is not granted by default, it has to be earned. Once we put our head under water, two clocks start ticking against us: the OOA clock and the hypothermia clock. Once we exceed a certain depth/time combination a third one, the deco clock, starts ticking. Now, there are already 3 things that are going to hurt or kill us unless we (not the instructor or anyone else) actively prevent those factors from harming us. As you go into tech diving, it only gets worse. This is the reality of our hobby and no glossy DVD about the fun of diving is going to change that.
The mental response to this realization should be: Know your enemies and respect them. Do not make more enemies (steel tanks and wetsuit without redundant BC or shallow bottom). When more enemies appear unannounced (leaking mask) defeat them or retreat, re-group, and re-attack later.
The really scary part in your story starts when you realized the danger of earlier decisions and did not immediately (!) do anything about it. If, or when, our initial judgment fails us, we need critical assertiveness more than skills to get ourselves out of that pickle.
The death by "continued VFR flight into IFR conditions" cited in earlier posts is a failure on two fronts. For once, the pilot should not have gone there in the first place. But worse yet, the pilot "continued" once he realized the lapse of his previous judgment.
Your story shows the same: naive risk assessment followed by passively giving in to the self-inflicted conditions. You have to break out of this 'dumb sheep mode' between your ears or you will get hurt sooner or later.
In your case, peer pressure was a contributing factor. You had the right idea to abort but you didn't execute it - twice. Whether you are diving with your instructor, Jarrod Jablonski, or the Pope, if you have identified an imminent threat to your life (e.g. inability to control depth, hypothermia) you thumb. If any one of these dignitaries ignores your thumb, they should get the 'bird' and you proceed with saving your life.
Listen to Capt. Sullenberger's communication with New York TRACON before the ‘Miracle of the Hudson’
here. "We take the Hudson" conveys conviction and assertiveness gaining control of an understandable level of dismay. Sully could only capitalize on his excellent flying skills by quickly coming up with an executable option and executing it without 'but and if'.
While a better instructor and/or a stronger team would be helpful, ultimately it is you who has to mentally take the forces you are messing with more seriously. More critical pessimism before your dives and more follow-through when you need to get yourself out of harm’s way.