My instructors are driving me to quit

[H2Andy]

This is signal enough. A signal she doesn't have control over. Attractive women should be able to act normal, act themselfs, without the unwanted advances. The first advance is open game, but she told them she has a committed relationship. After that, it's a warning. After that, it's harrassment. Why be pc about it? If she's saying no, she's saying no. How many times before she's 'allowed' to do something...? This is about the invasion of one's space, not coping to get a job. And if it is coping to get a job, then it's just part of the problem perpetuating the bigger picture.

dude, right on

my thoughts exactly

 

[Nineveh]

Thank you guys for the great advice and support. No, I'm not in the states, otherwise handling this would be a cinch. So thank you to whoever dug up the code for Belize, it was greatly appreciated.

My main problem is that I really don't want to be rude. I don't want them to think that just because I don't want to be touched that a) I don't like them or b) I can't take a joke. We all work in close proximity for many hours a day and I don't want to be working with 5 pissed off resentful guys, especially when I'm relying on them to teach me things. There's one that already goes out of his way to be as unconstructive as possible when I make mistakes

Also, I have already looked into other options for courses. I think this will definitely be my last week at that shop. Iguess on of the reasons I haven't jsut gone to upper management about it is that the owner of the shop is a good friend of the family's and is an extremely busy person. She's already going above and beyond taking me on, having to worry about my little gripes with the crew just seems like an ungrateful, prissy thing to go to her about. I mean, she's dealt with them for a long time. I guesss theyr'e not going to make passes at the person signing their paychecks, but I dunno, I don't want any action I take to be misinterpreted as hypocritical: "Work me like a guy, but treat me gently cos I'm a girl."

Anyway... Thank you so much for the PMs and all the great advice. Mission accomplished, faith has been officially restored!

 

[GrierHPharmD]

Hi Nineveh,

I wish you the best in this difficult situation. It's a shame that those guys can tarnish the shine on something you've wanted and worked towards for so long. It sounds like you're pretty wise as to the workplace dynamics, and now, with some good info on the legal situation in Belize, maybe you can figure out how to stop things from progressing further.

And people wonder why there aren't more women divers! Jeez!

Well, good luck and I hope things improve (dramatically!)

Best wishes and safe ascents,
Grier

 

[ShakaZulu]

C'mon guys, these horn dogs are acting rather normal in my opinion (remote location, attractive girl on board). You have to put them in there place by doing what ever it takes. Informing them of your partner could actually make you more attractive as a catch. Never accept there flirtatious behavior, physical as well as verbal. Mentioning the sexual harrasment thing isn't a bad idea either. Take control of the situation girl...........(Do we know the nationality of these boys??? That could make a difference, different cultures.....)

 

[Nineveh]

Yeah, they do come from a different culture, but I have been raised both in Latin America AND in a more demure Western Culture, so I do let alot of stuff slide based on that.

But I guess the stuff that I find most offensive is when they will make comments like "So my wife likes it when I *lewd reference to various OTHER kinds of diving* how would you like it if I did that to you?"

I'm like, EXCUSE me, I highly doubt your wife would appreciate you making such comments about her OR me, so please keep them to yourself!

I'm pretty sure the sanctity of marriage transcends bot culture AND language. So I hardly think thats a valid excuse.

Also, when they come up behind me and try to hug me, I do push them off, I think thats a pretty clear indication that that is unwelcome advance.

Actually, the first time I complained about it to my instructor, he responded with "Well, how do expect the guys to act around such a provocatively dressed woman?"

Just for the record, I own two piece bathing suits, but all of them have hot pant bottoms, and three quarter length tops, no bikinis, and one piece suits with longer leg cuts are hard to come by, so I stay away from them. Also, I keep my wet suit on during all surface intervals and whenever it does not get too uncomfortable when moving tanks and equiptment. Bear in mind I'm in Belize, where its hot as hell 95% of the time, I don't see why I should have to wear a berka (sp?) and suffer just because most water-attire happens to be body hugging

 

[H2Andy]

Just for the record, I own two piece bathing suits, but all of them have hot pant bottoms, and three quarter length tops, no bikinis, and one piece suits with longer leg cuts are hard to come by, so I stay away from them. Also, I keep my wet suit on during all surface intervals and whenever it does not get too uncomfortable when moving tanks and equiptment.

you can wear whatever you want any time you want to.
period. end of story (well, within the law and job description
and so on...)

yes, how women look affects men and gets our minds and bodies to respond in a number of ways, but it is our responsibility to deal with that, not yours (women's).

the more i hear about this, the more i want to slap those idiots
around. i am so sorry you're having to deal with this.

 

[scubafool]

Yea, offer to bring them diving with us. Cathryn would have SOOOO much fun giving them lessons in manners. I've never met you, but from the actions of these creeps, I imagine that most men would take a second look at you, but that is as far as it should go. If you were offended that they were noticing that you were a good looking female, WITHOUT the explicit comments & the completely unacceptable fondling, I would say that it is something that you should learn to live with. But from what you have posted, this bunch are way beyond that. You are in the situation, & only you can make the final decision, but my vote is to get the heck away from them. Unless of course, you can arrange for them to take a dive trip to Central Florida. Please don't let these creeps discourage you from your goal, because then they will have done the most damage that they could possibly do. Please don't let them do that to you. Be the person you want to be, not the mindless piece of meat that they perceive you to be.

 

[Mako Mark]

Nineveh

You have recieved some good and bad advice from this thread and while I do not want to alarm you, be very careful about making waves in the country I believe you are in.

Less than a year ago I was involved in the "rescue/extraction" of a foriegn girl working there, that had been raped and beaten by her local boyfriend, and then thrown in jail for her trouble when she complained about it to the police. It took two weeks to get her out. She was then deported.

Remember you are not in Kansas anymore, you are subject to the local laws and the manipulation of those laws in a way that you may not be used to. The police may not be your friends, they are more likely to be close relatives of the perpetrators.

My advice is if you cannot solve this problem on a personal level, LEAVE NOW before the problem gets worse.

If the company is an international one, you can take action from home. If it is a local one you may not be able to, and trying to will just get you in over your head.

I hate to be the one saying trust me, but TRUST ME ON THIS ONE.

If you are worried about your course, bring you paperwork to Cancun, and I will try to help you out best I can. It is a bus ride away.

 

[Nineveh]

Mr Mark:

Yes, I understand your concern, and yes this is a tight knit community. You have nailed alot of concerns I have right there, and I have been hesitant to take legal action for some of the resons you have mentioned. Its bit of a shock to the system to be white and in the minority AND a girl, but like I said, I was raised in several places aroudn the world, so I know where I can and can't step.

I appreciate your offer very much, but I have already begun to make arrangements to complete my course elsewhere, even though it will be at some expense, I don't care, I'm determined to do this, and although it saddens me that I will have to give up my apprenticeship, which all in all, is work i love, it will all be worth it in the end.

I travel to mexico often, so perhaps I can hit you up for an excursion next time I'm up there at the very least.
Actually, do you happen to do trips to the cenotes in the area at all?

I have done 2 dives in them, but am interested in doing more.

 

[El Orans]

Nineveh,

I hope that you'll find a way to achieve what you want to achieve without some **** creating more trouble than they're worth.

Good luck and safe diving.