Loss of my Father aka CMAN 6/9/19

[Pelagicsal]

Jared, I am sorry for your loss. I hope that you and your family are healing and sharing good memories of your dad.
I also hope that you can find your way back underwater, finding some solace in the depths you and your father loved.

 

[Hank49]

Heart felt condolences. Thank you for sharing.

 

[Reku]

It's been hard to come to terms with this loss. It feels like something is missing and I haven't been back to the shop since this happened.

I first met Jerry 4 years ago at the dive shop when I returned back to Michigan.

When I first entered the shop I saw a picture of a diver on the bow of a boat holding a sign from the wreck of the SS Hydrus. That was you. After many years of searching you finally found a shipwreck. The nice lady behind the counter told me stories of you coming into the shop and telling her over and over you'd find a shipwreck someday. I was introduced to their service tec Jerry, and we talked about the SS Hydrus and you for many hours that day. This is one of my fondest memories of diving to date. To see someone so dedicated they never gave up. I am 100% sure you will be OK.

Rest In peace Jerry, I'll miss you.

@Jared0425 ,

You don't know it but seeing your dedication come to fruition has helped me in a number of ways when I've run into problems these last few years. If there's anyway I can help you let me know.

 

[Ayisha]

Jared, I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing what had to be incredibly difficult and painful.

Honestly though, it doesn't seem like there was anything that could have been done. May he rest in peace.

 

[<*)))><]

My condolences

RIP CMAN

 

[Dizzi Lizzi]

Jared, I'm so sorry for this heartbreaking loss. It sounds like even if he was still on the boat he would not have survived, and you did everything your could. I'm glad you were with him, as difficult as that was. When you are ready the oceans will be there for you. Peace and healing to you and all that loved Jerry.

 

[CT-Rich]

Wow, sorry for your loss

 

[Kimela]

What a tough loss. There simply are no words. My condolences to you and all who loved your father.

 

[drrich2]

Sorry to read of your great loss, exacerbated by rescue efforts that didn't go smoothly, leaving room for 'what if?' questions to haunt you.

Part of your post has content that deserves unpacking and clarification:

So lessons that I learned:
I will no longer dive with divers older than 55
I will no longer dive with divers that are overweight.

and

This is a repeat of many stories here on this forum of divers thinking that they are still ok to dive even when the risks are mounted against them.

You're an individual who's survived a traumatic event, and if you as a matter of personal choice aren't comfortable with diving buddied with or having on your own boat divers of a particular age, weight, asthmatics, diabetics, red heads, green-eyed divers, people who look 'soft' instead of bearing visibly defined musculature, people with dive pro. or tec. diving credentials not 'just' recreational cert.s, people with > 500 dives, etc..., that's your choice.

If you're implying people overweight and/or > 55 years old shouldn't dive (or maybe be allowed to? You didn't say that, nor am I claiming you did), that's another concern. Thus I'm asking for clarification.

Lots of overweight and/or 55+ divers dive, have a good time and go home safe. Every last person who does not dive eventually dies somewhere doing something besides diving. I get that the circumstances of scuba make some medical crises much less survivable than being at home, so life span may be cut short. I also get that older people drive 70+ mph on busy interstates, swim in pools and otherwise do things where a heart attack or stroke would be riskier.

Per your Dad's profile, he had between 500 and 999 dives, dove a range of destinations including all the Great Lakes and had Rescue Diver certification. While he rarely saw a doctor, on some level I'd think he knew his age and weight put him at some risk. And he chose to take those risks and do something he loved...scuba diving.

If this exact scenario happened to someone else and were reported here, and he were still with us and came upon this thread...I wonder what he'd say?

 

[Jared0425]

I should have made my comments a little bit more clear. These new "rules" of mine are on my boat, with the exception of the o2 requirement.

I will avoid diving with overweight people and older divers if possible. My father definitely claimed to know the risks but ultimately the way things happened, I doubt he was prepared for them, ( I certainly wasn't).

Understand this is my 3rd go around with fatalities of older divers and my confidence is understandably shot in dealing with these 2 groups. 3 people for one diver is an awful lot and reading these similar articles and posts shows that this is the age (and weight) group that are most vulnerable.

I get that there are extremely unhealthy 30 and 40 year olds, obese 20 year olds, and Chuck Norris 70+ year olds.

Now there are some divers in my group that are over 55, but they are extremely experienced technical divers who see their doctors often and are non-obese. Out of the four, 2 of them are "retiring" from the deep cold stuff and just focusing on the searching aspect. I guess knowing on a personal level makes me change my mind on a few things, but as of now I plan to stick to these "rules" of mine.