Lonely old lady needs feedback

[Nehallenia]

hun - I hear you.... I'm just trying to kick your butt (badly) so you realise that the discouragement is more the situation than you. and I think you do realise it, but it is easier to blame yourself than the ex.
it is a truly ****ty situation to be forced to stay where you don't want to.
I can't provide any solutions, just to say "you do have a lot to offer someone".
and that special someone will come along. it just takes time..... lots and lots of it. and whilst you may feel that you don't have that time, it will come soon.
at some points your kids will be old enough to travel independently and then you will be able to move with or without your ex's permission.
hang on in there.

I have my fingers crossed that you are right, and that the "tipping point" will happen soon, when I have met enough people, pursuing my interests, to find that someone to share them and a lot more with.

 

[Nehallenia]

Thanks for the compliment. Please take my comments in the same vein... I was just making fun with the word "fling." And I think you were as well. You do seem to be a woman with a lot to offer, as many others here have said.

I've waited a long time for the "right" woman. Yes, I am a bit "picky" (although living on a somewhat isolated island with a small population and limited single women plays a bit part). However, I know I am happy being by myself... but could be even happer with someone who shares enough of my interests. Hopefully Xiaoyan may be the one.

Dr. B.

Dr. B, this is one situation where it is appropriate to be picky (one of the reasons I was asking myself some hard questions about that guy - would I have just been taking "what I could get" and cheapening myself by succumbing?), and you deserve the pick of the crop!

 

[lostinspace]

would I have just been taking "what I could get" and cheapening myself by succumbing?)

as I tell my girlfriend (the one I mentioned earlier) never settle for what's available if it's not what you truly want because you will only end up hurting yourself even more. I think we've all been there & done that at some points in our lives.

 

[Raven C]

as I tell my girlfriend (the one I mentioned earlier) never settle for what's available if it's not what you truly want because you will only end up hurting yourself even more. I think we've all been there & done that at some points in our lives.

That is a profound statement and one to be heeded. I am sure we can all repeat it but following through is a different story.

R

 

[scbababe]

A little Tequila and I'd be attracted YOU, Mark!

Hey, I know you are kidding, but I hear and see this all to often! When on 1st dates we are so nervous or unsure of ourselves that we'll drink up, sleep with the guy, only to say that we had to much to drink, and that we weren't ourselves. In many occassions we loose their respect.

Ladies, when we are starting out with a guy, rule of thumb don't drink to much and don't sleep with him on the first date! Sometimes it's a long time in between dates so the first man we get a hold of, is prey.. Don't make this mistake. Be discreet and be picky when it comes to men they'll appreciate it.

 

[Scubaguy62]

Ladies, when we are starting out with a guy, rule of thumb don't drink to much and don't sleep with him on the first date! Sometimes it's a long time in between dates so the first man we get a hold of, is prey.. Don't make this mistake. Be discreet and be picky when it comes to men they'll appreciate it.

Baby, is that why you always wanted "just a coke?" and why............................???????

All kidding aside, you hit the nail on the head baby!!! As we said in my younger years, "Right true!!"

 

[scbababe]

Baby, is that why you always wanted "just a coke?" and why............................???????

A coke and a smile!

 

[Nehallenia]

Hey, I know you are kidding, but I hear and see this all to often! When on 1st dates we are so nervous or unsure of ourselves that we'll drink up, sleep with the guy, only to say that we had to much to drink, and that we weren't ourselves. In many occassions we loose their respect.

Ladies, when we are starting out with a guy, rule of thumb don't drink to much and don't sleep with him on the first date! Sometimes it's a long time in between dates so the first man we get a hold of, is prey.. Don't make this mistake. Be discreet and be picky when it comes to men they'll appreciate it.

I am being picky - maybe I am too picky! I am afraid the kind of guy I am looking for is not single at 40. Or not living within 900 miles of me.

 

[lostinspace]

I am being picky - maybe I am too picky! I am afraid the kind of guy I am looking for is not single at 40. Or not living within 900 miles of me.

maybe you are being too picky - there's never a MrPerfect - he just doesnt exist.
but as I said before, you shouldnt settle for "wha's available" just because it is there. it is way more likely that they guy you are looking for is not within 900 miles of you.

have you ever considered a dating agency?

 

[Nehallenia]

maybe you are being too picky - there's never a MrPerfect - he just doesnt exist.
but as I said before, you shouldnt settle for "wha's available" just because it is there. it is way more likely that they guy you are looking for is not within 900 miles of you.

have you ever considered a dating agency?

Too picky: he can't be abusive in any way (verbal, emotional, physical)to women, children, or animals; anyone addicted to anything (a minor caffeine addiction is OK) is out; we should have some common ground in educational level (or at least potential), interests, and fitness level; anyone seriously mentally ill is out; I would like someone within 10 years of my own age, who has parenting experience (parenting changes you, and no-one who doesn't have children would be able to understand the responsibility I feel toward mine), who is not overly negative, who is capable of being faithful, who has an open mind about spirituality, who doesn't have to be blind drunk to get up and dance with me in public . . . I don't know, maybe that is just asking too much. I meet far too many men who are bitter, self-centred, controlling, don't take care of their bodies at all . . . it is just depressing.

Are you being sarcastic about the dating agency??