It's surprisingly hard...

[BioLogic]

... to call a dive when your buddy doesn't want it thumbed.

Ok, with my regular buddy it's not hard; we've both bought well into the 'Any diver can call the dive at any time for any reason'.

On Sunday though I was diving with a guy I'd just met. He'd driven a long way for the dive and was pleased to get a chance to do his first night dive. He had a mix of newly arrived purchases and rental gear, and he had all kinds of minor equipment issues. We worked through some of them, but he was getting pretty frustrated and his stress level got to the point where I wasn't happy about diving a new experience with him. He wanted to sort out the last issue (he had a good plan for it) and go for it, but I declined.

I found it really hard to disappoint the guy and essentially deny him the dive. I don't regret it, but yeah, I found it hard. This case turned out ok, because we (four of us total) watched the fireworks floating on the surface (highly recommended!!), and by then he was destressed and his issues were sorted out, so we all got in a short dive before we had to end it.

Have you ever been in a situation where you wanted to call a dive but found it socially uncomfortable? How did you handle it?

 

[Walter]

Have you ever been in a situation where you wanted to call a dive but found it socially uncomfortable? How did you handle it?

It's better to be on shore wishing you were diving than to be diving wishing you were on shore. Screw socially uncomfortable. When you want to call the dive, call the dive. Live to dive another day.

 

[Brian Sharpe]

With any of my regular buddies it's understood that any diver can call the dive for any reason period.

When I'm diving with someone new I make a point of making sure that this is crystal clear from the outset - so far I've not had the misfortune of diving with anyone who had a problem with that.

Having said that my first dive after getting certified was one I called after we hit about 20ft. there was zero vis - literally. The guy I was diving with took it all in stride.

Last fall I fit the description of your buddy - some new gear and I was having some minor equipment issues; my buddy recognized this and called the dive before the little stressors got out of hand. We had a good debriefing after the dive and I still dive with him from time-to-time, what could have been a horrible experience turned into a good learning opportunity.

 

[tstormdiver]

Personally I will call a dive anytime with any diver, if I'm getting too far out of my comfort zone,... even my cave instructor, if need be. It may take me longer to finish up, but so be it. That's what he wants us to do, call the dive if it gets to be too much to handle. He'd rather come back to the lesson later than to deal with a panicked student. That being said, yes I will come out of my comfort zone to learn new things. You have to, but you must also know your limits. I occaisionally dive with a guy who wants to get into technical diving, but won't slow down long enough to perfect any of his techniques. I have seen him get into some potentially dangerous situations & he will not call a dive for any reason, because he's afraid of what the other diver will think. Personally,... I don't give a hoot what the other diver thinks. If someone calls it,.... it is over. Period. I've had to call it for us because it was getting too dangerous in my perception. Do discuss the "rules of engagement" for calling or ending the dive BEFORE you start the dive. If you & your potential buddy have different goals then that is probably not the person you want to dive with in the first place.

 

[TSandM]

Last year, I met up with someone new to me to do some cave diving. I knew his training, so I wasn't worried about him. But on the third dive (we had planned four) I noted his technique was starting to get sloppy, and I could tell he was getting physically tired. When we surfaced, I told him I didn't think we should do another dive. He was quiet -- I don't think he was happy. But chickdiver taught me not to dive when I'm tired, and I think it's a good lesson.

I turned a dive in Jackson Blue several years ago about 15 minutes into it, because I didn't want to be there. I had three people behind me, two of whom could dive there any time, but the third (my husband) is like me -- we have to get our cave dives in on just a couple of trips a year. That was one was hard, but several things had happened during the dive already that had me stressed and I found myself wishing I wasn't there, so I took steps to make it so.

I have not yet had to thumb a dive because my buddy wasn't coping, but I have changed dive plans and cut things short.

 

[MXGratefulDiver]

I'd rather be socially uncomfortable than physically uncomfortable ... I've had a couple of times when a dive buddy got upset with me for calling a dive, but that doesn't stop me. If it doesn't feel right, I'll sit this one out ... if they insist on diving, they can find someone else to dive with.

... Bob (Grateful Diver)

 

[emoreira]

It's better to be on shore wishing you were diving than to be diving wishing you were on shore.

Wise words.
I couldn't say it better.

 

[Ana]

Hopefully every person reading this thread will think to him/herself: "" It won't be hard for me, if I'm in that situation I won't give it a 2nd thought ""

Who cares about so and so that you met 30 seconds ago if he drove 5 minutes or 2 days. If it is me I wouldn't even know the name of the person. It is your responsibility to be safe for yourself and maybe your family, the "other" person matters very little when compared to that.

 

[RJP]

He was pleased to get a chance to do his first night dive...

He had a mix of newly arrived purchases and rental gear, and he had all kinds of minor equipment issues.

Danger Danger! Warning Warning!

I would not have agreed to go on someone's "first night" dive if they had expected to be using "newly arrived purchases" and would have made that very clear, in a gentle way, right from the start. Night dives are not the place to try out new gear - or overcome "all kinds of minor equipment issues" - even for experienced night divers.

Did you know ahead of time it was this guy's first night dive? Had he dived that site previously - particularly THAT day? Did you know ahead of time he was looking to try out new gear, etc?

As mentioned by others "anybody, any dive, any reason" is the rule of "thumb" and I would have reminded this guy that his likelihood of diving with me was falling rapidly as he started unwrapping unfamiliar gear. At that point the decision to cause ME to thumb the dive would become HIS DECISION.

I buddied with a guy once who told me he was going to bring a spear gun and a camera with him on a deep (145'), low-viz, deco dive. I told him nicely I thought he should bring one or the other, but not both. He said he appreciated my concern, but thought he'd bring them both anyway. I then told him nicely I'd be diving solo if he brought them both. He decided to just bring the spear gun.



Ironically - it turned out he also decided to bring the camera on the dive without telling me. Of course the only way I discovered this is that I found the shiny new clip he used to clip the camera... sitting by itself... in the sand... at 145'... right after he lost the new camera and new housing.

 

[sabbath999]

I felt kind of bad about what happened when I realized what was up.

There were four of us, and two of the people there were less experienced divers. One had never done a night dive and the other had only done like one before, so my thought was I would buddy with one of them and BioLogic would buddy up with the other. The lady I was with had already done a dive with us together that day, but she was concerned about her buoyancy skills. The other person arrived in the evening, but I wasn't worried about Biologic since she knows the site forward and backwards and is very reliable.

All of us were in the water, and we made a joint plan to go down the south wall, then follow the second cut level to where a sunken car was, then check out another sunken vehicle on the next level down, then surface to watch the fireworks. My buddy and I took off, and I didn't realize that the fourth diver was using rental equipment and didn't have NEARLY enough weight to get down. My buddy and I did our dive (about 20 minutes, I saw the light flashes overhead of the fireworks starting and we went up). I was surprised to see the other two divers over at the dock all the way across the quarry.

My wife and the other diver joined us in the water, and we all chilled and talked about what happened. She explained to him that, for safety's sake, it is important to stop the stress cycle dead in it's tracks, and it was all good after that. He fixed his problem and we went on for a short night dive as a group with me leading and and the other three close by, with Biologic in the back to keep an eye on things. We stayed fairly shallow and I took them on a wall dive around the quarry so they could keep good track of their depth by simply following the wall.

I had watched as the guy geared up, and helped him with a bit of an equipment problem (switching hose positions for better fit on his first stage, then a blown O-ring, no big deal), but what I didn't realize is that the wetsuit he had was a rental... and a really stout semi dry that is REALLY buoyant. I have run into this before at this quarry last year, they have some rental suits that take a TON of weight to sink, and I just didn't realize that is what was up.

Bottom line is he ended up getting his dive in, had a new experience (night diving) and met some local divers.

But the decision not to go into the water when stressed was absolutely 100 percent the right call on Biologic's part. IMHO.