Inclusive Blonde Jokes Thread

[Former FLL Now MSP Diver]

A blonde woman was speeding down the road in her little red sports car and
was pulled over by a woman police officer that was also a blonde.

The cop asked to see the blonde's driver's license. She dug through her
purse and was getting progressively more agitated.

"What does it look like?" she finally asked.

The policewoman replied, "It's square and it has your picture on it."

The driver finally found a square mirror, looked at it and handed it to
the policewoman. "Here it is," she said.

The blonde officer looked at the mirror, then handed it back saying,
"Okay, you can go. I didn't realize you were a cop.

Marc

 

[strider]

Blinker Fluid has to come after muffler bearing.

muffler bearing, alignment screw, henway, matta-ewe, spew handler, dehydrated water, diet water, church spoon, or a sky-hook, as well as many, many others...

 

[Mako Mark]

strike up a conversation.

"How'd you die?" the first blonde asked the second.

"I froze to death," says the second.

"That's awful," says the first blonde. "How does it feel to freeze to death?"

"It's very uncomfortable at first," says the second blonde.

"You get the shakes, and you get pains in all your fingers and toes. But eventually, it's a very calm way to go. You get numb and you kind of drift off, as if you're sleeping. How about you, how did you die?"

"I had a heart attack," says the first. "You see, I knew my husband was cheating on me, so one day I showed up at home unexpectedly. I ran up to the bedroom, and found him alone watching TV. I ran to the basement, but no one was hiding there. I ran to the second floor, but no one was hiding there either. I ran as fast as I could to the attic, and just as I got there, I had a massive heart attack and died."

The second blonde shakes her head. "What a pity. If only you had looked in the freezer, we'd both still be alive!"

 

[vereli]

:rofl: Very cute! Thanks for sharing.
Marina

 

[vereli]

It's not too often that you hear a joke about blond guys...

Two blonde guys were working for the city works department. One would dig a hole and the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in.

They worked up one side of the street, then down the other, then moved on to the next street, working furiously all day without rest, one guy digging a hole, the other guy filling it in again.

An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I'm impressed by the effort you two are putting into your work, but I don't get it -- why do you dig a hole, only to have your partner follow behind and fill it up again?"

The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, I suppose it probably looks odd because we're normally a three-man team. But today the guy who plants the trees called in sick."

 

[Ed L.]

What do you call a deadblond in the attic?

Last years hide and seek winner!

(Hubcap extractor)

 

[CathyI8205]

I haven't seen this one yet.

A blonde and redhead were walking through a field. They came upon some tracks. The blonde said "Those must be deer tracks". The redhead said "No, those are bear tracks". They were arguing over this when the train hit them.

 

[diver4christ]

There is always the joke about sending someone to get 100' of flight line!!!

When I was in the military, I was a communications specialist. After being assigned to my local National Guard unit, my section sargeant tried to get me to go to the supply room for a gallon can of Frequency Grease. Of course, I was quick on my toes and responded that I had already checked with them and it was on order.

A few months later, I was checking out a radio in a tracked vehicle. We were a Air Defense Unit using tracked vehicles. Anyways, I saw a new soldier jumping up and down on one of the tracks and seeing a group of guys laughing like crazy by the motor bay, I proceeded to ask what he was doing. He responded proudly, I was asked to check the shocks. I smiled and continued my work.

 

[Dave in PA]

Liquid squelch from commo....
a 5 gallon bucket of prop wash from the motor sgt....
Road wheel pressure gauge for the tracked vehicles.....

can't think of any more right now, too early...

 

[wstein]

5 gal of Rotor wash
black star clusters
motar base plate jack
buckets of pnuematic fluid
a prc-e7 (pronouced prick e7....other words a pi$$ed off gunny)
keys for the helicopters/tracks/hummers
push starting a ch-46 helicopter (yes I know some grunts dumb enough to fall for that)

THere is plenty more

Paul