In defense of "insta", and even "bad" buddies..

[Fish_Whisperer]

I've only got twenty dives, but I recently had the opportunity to dive with a brand new diver in Key Largo. We stuck with shallow reefs like Christ Of The Abyss and Dry Rocks, and I had to be patient while she got her gear sorted out and it took a little time and effort for her to descend. I coached her on the surface about letting ALL of the air out of her lungs and getting ALL the air out of her BC, but once we got down to depth, she was fine. She followed me through some narrow coral valleys and I pointed out eagle rays, angelfish, some really big lobsters, and a lot of other neat stuff. At the end of the dive, (which was rather short because she was huffing through her air, typical of all of us when we first started), her smile outshone the sun! I would gladly dive with a new diver and help them, even if it means that my dive is shortened. I get such a great feeling out of helping new divers.

On our Spiegel Grove dive, a guy came up to us on the boat and asked if he could buddy up with us. I told him that would be fine. I looked at his gear, noted where his weights were, and told him that we were turning around at 1000 psi. During the dive, I kept an eye on him, and my buddy kept an eye on me, and we had a nice 40-minute dive.

If I got ten minutes into a dive and found that my insta-buddy had misrepresented her/himself and they were having all sorts of problems, then I would probably take them back to the surface and make sure they were on the tail line and that the crew knew they were there, and then I would continue my own dive. Later, back on the boat, I'd ask them what happened and why they were having problems. It may be something we could sort out, and if not, I don't have to do the next dive with them.

For recreational stuff, we're all in this to have a good time. I have the best time if EVERYONE is having a good time. It bums me out when I see other people having problems or having to thumb a dive. I would hope that my buddy would be honest with me about their skill level, and I'm always honest about my own.

The thing I won't put up with, regardless of someone's experience level, is the smug know-it-all, superior, condescending attitude. It's rude and there's just no excuse for that crap. We are ALL learning constantly, and if we're not, it's probably time to hang up the fins.

 

[Cacia]

Dennis dives A LOT and is probably one of the most considerate divers from what I see... I think it really comes down to being willing to help others but having to push back a little and advocate for yourself sometimes. Basically, if you are very experienced, and doing advanced dives, and taking pictures with anything more complex than point and shoot, it is not realistic to think you can be a good buddy to anyone! Add to that tunnel vision from a mask, downdrafts and currents, not knowing the person, and then add all this growing expectation that you not only must do your BEST but now are also legally and financially responsible for this person....and you know what? that ain't a fun and relaxing. Many of us travel and dive to get away from certain things and I don't want to be interviewing strangers or having them interogating me about my experience... I want to be laying in the sun, enjoying the scenery, or asking the boat captain what his life is like. I think it is fair for personalities of a certain ilk to opt out of this whole buddy situation. It is as basic as saying "I can't fulfill your expectations, so please don't count on me". It is really a very decent honest way to be. I don't like to hear that it is in any way selfish or unkind. Really, a lot of it has do with the camera, the fact that you have spent thousands of dollars on this stuff and now have a few minutes to pull it all together...your brain is occupied. I hear people saying "oh yea, I can do all that and still monitor my insta-buddy". I don't want to even try. I think maybe very safety conscious people who want to step up to a more advanced dive than they might be comfortable doing should consider hiring a divemaster. In most of these destinations it costs very little to do this. It is an option that people just don't consider. I do it in a way when I hire the local photog for extra tech support, but also, it is great to have his company at depth or among big schools of sharks...someone on my program helping me advance my own agenda. Be creative, look around, drive your own equation instead of hoping "default mode" and the status quo will be perfect.

Frank, I bet you are a great buddy to those new divers! You appear to be advancing your own abilities on the fast track and are diving at a level way ahead of a guy with x number of dives. Thanks for making us look good out there!

 

[Diver Dennis]

I agree.

People that are concerned about insta-buddies are probably people that have not reached a level of competence where they can plan and enjoy their dives with someone they just met on the boat.

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My guess is that a lot of the divers that complain the loudest about diving with newbies are divers that just recently graduated from the ranks of newbies, but don't have the confidence/experience/skills to be the senior diver in a buddy pair where the other diver is a new diver.

Charlie, if you read my posts you'll realize that I often do dive with new divers when I'm at home in Mexico. In fact I will search out or asked to buddy with inexperienced divers by DMs or Instructors and because I enjoy it. In cases like that I dive for free and it is at dive sites I've been to maybe a hundred times. I enjoy the interaction and feel great about helping someone get to see the things we do underwater.
That is far different from going on holiday to Micronesia or the Philippines and finding myself in the same position. Why should I pay to babysit someone on my holiday that I'm spending a lot of money for and miss out on some of the things I want to see because I'm worried about my buddy who I just met and is lacking in skills? I've been on boats where everyone was upset because someone who told the dive op they were ready for a certain dive was not and limited the diving of the others.
I've done just about 400 dives since last April and about 60 were with either a buddy that was a newbie or a group of new divers I was helping with. So I guess I do have the skills and desire to help with new divers. And they are not the ones I've had any problems with.

 

[Fish_Whisperer]

I understand your frustration too, Dennis. A little communication and honesty BEFORE the dive, certainly goes a long way, and for me, there is a world of difference between going to Vortex Spring or even Key Largo and helping a brand new diver, and going all the way to Cozumel for a vacation that I've saved up for and worked hard for all year, only to get stuck with missing dives because of a bungling klutz.

 

[Diver Dennis]

Frank you make some good points. The thing about bringing your buddy back to the surface after you find he has a problem or you have a problem with him is that if you do not know the site and the group does not wait for you, your dive is over too. The captain is not going to let you go back down and try to find the group unless he knows you and knows you can do it without getting lost. You would be solo at that point.
You might only have 20 dives but you have done well enough to be able to help others and I think that is great. From your demeanor on the board I can tell you would be a patient buddy who thinks about what you are doing.
I've described the people you talk about in your last point as "Super Divers" who are the most vocal on the boat about all the dives they've done and all the places they have been or all the Certs they have but in the water they are reef walkers. I stay away from these guys too.

 

[dlndavid]

Hey I was your buddy in the PI, what skills was I lacking?

 

[Diver Dennis]

I understand your frustration too, Dennis. A little communication and honesty BEFORE the dive, certainly goes a long way, and for me, there is a world of difference between going to Vortex Spring or even Key Largo and helping a brand new diver, and going all the way to Cozumel for a vacation that I've saved up for and worked hard for all year, only to get stuck with missing dives because of a bungling klutz.

That is exactly my point Frank. When I'm home in PV it's fun and satisfying to help out, but when I'm away it's a different story. In fact, unless I'm solo I'm always diving with new buddies there. I might see them a few times but almost all the divers I see there are on holiday and there for only a week or two. Like I said, all the places we dive there, I've seen before and I'm not missing anything when I have to devote a lot of time to helping.

 

[Diver Dennis]

Hey I was your buddy in the PI, what skills was I lacking?

None David. You were a great buddy but I was off on my own a lot as you know. I didn't include the PI as one of the places where we had any problems, it was Micronesia. It was great diving with you because I didn't have to worry and it was like Catherine's line, two solo divers diving together... We dove together for 2 weeks, you're no Insta-buddy!

This does not happen all the time, but it has happened to me enough that I'm wary of Insta-buddies and I'll qualify that, on holidays.

 

[Fish_Whisperer]

Thanks, Dennis. The "Super Divers" are probably the most irritating of any sub-group that I've met, so far. I've found that that most competant pilots in aviation, the most competant medics, and the most competant divers in the scuba world, are usually the ones who don't say a lot about their own skills. They don't have anything to prove, so all of the chest-thumping and boasting just goes by the wayside.

 

[Charlie99]

Charlie, if you read my posts you'll realize that I often do dive with new divers when I'm at home in Mexico. In fact I will search out or asked to buddy with inexperienced divers by DMs or Instructors and because I enjoy it........

That is far different from going on holiday to Micronesia or the Philippines and finding myself in the same position. Why should I pay to babysit someone on my holiday that I'm spending a lot of money for and miss out on some of the things I want to see because I'm worried about my buddy who I just met and is lacking in skills? ......

I do have the skills and desire to help with new divers. And they are not the ones I've had any problems with.

My comments weren't really targeted at people like you, or like Catherine, that just say upfront "I want a break. I don't want to deal with an unknown buddy". My target was the "dive god" whose attitude is "I'm too great of a diver to ever dive with a newbie".

Sometimes I love to dive with a new diver ---- their joy, wonder, and enthusiasm is infectious!
OTOH, like you, sometimes I don't want the hassle of diving with a new, inexperienced diver. Or even with an experienced buddy sometimes --- solo diving has it's own unique character and advantages.

One of my points was what do you do when you're underwater and find out the guy is a terrible diver? He is already an insta-buddy as soon as you drop so you're stuck. Do you just leave him and worry about yourself? I don't. I stick with him until the dive is over and address the problem when we get back on the boat.

That's the sort of responsible attitude we should all have.

Since my wife is not a diver, I rarely bring a buddy with me on a dive trip. While it may be inconvenient at times, this does mean that (with rare exception) I should be ready and willing to buddy up with others on the boat. If I don't like that, then I should either bring a buddy or find a boat that allows solo diving.